Why Do So Many DF'd End In Some Sort Of Trouble?

by african GB Member 48 Replies latest jw friends

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  african GB Member

  Most Ex-JW's DF/DA that I know end up living a dangerous life. Some get into Drugs, prostitution, gangsterism,etc. As a result they prove the JW theory that says "whoever leaves Jehovah's Organisation won't make it" right.

  It's difficult for me to say this, but it seems like JW's are partly right on this one.

  Why do most ex-Dubs end up in a predicament of some sort? Are they psychologically affected by years of chains and abuse, and therefore end up looking to make up for lost time and enjoy/explore their freedom to the fullest?

  GB
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  AlexHall

  I would love to see some evidence to prove that point before admitting to the viewpoint, but lets for the sake of this argument say that you are right and that a mayority of the ex-jw´s get into some kind of trubles when they leave.

  I´ve actually seen this kind of behavior with people that were and still are witnesses. They were held so hard by their parents, and as soon as they moved to their own apartments they started to live a life more like "normal" people, and in some extent even worse. It like a holding a spring really tense, when you let go, it springs loose rather violently.

  The same principle is prob. accurate with alot of ex-jw´s. All those stupid things we should have done before the age of 25, piles up and we wanna experience life in its fullest as soon as we are free. For some that still are Jw´s but want out can also choose a destructive way, just because they can´t handle the preassure of leaving by their own accord. I know I almost did.

  I think that a lot of people that seek religion have a need to belong to something bigger. Something to fill up the hole. Problem is that in some causes we don´t mind what fills the hole, as long as it is full. A lot of bad things happens because we "socialize" with the wrong people... That part, the wittness actually got right...

  The psycological abuse of being df and shunned by all those that used to love you can be a hard blow to our minds. To be forced into solitute can make us do stupid things. Having no support, no friends and to be left without guidance leave us wandering a path we no longer have the map for.

  Perhaps the witnesses got it right: Those that leave the organisation might get into some problems. The only reason why they are right is beacuse they create the cirumstances for the problem to arise
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  isaacaustin

  because the WT says they do. You need to go out and learn life African GB Memeber and you would see that is not true.
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  AllTimeJeff

  This isn't true. Period.
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  ferret

  not true...I know many, many ex JW's and they are all living examplary lives.
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  Lady Lee

  Many kids who grow up in strict families will leave home asap and experiment with breaking as many rules as they can. When the pendulum is held at the far right for so long it is only natural for it to swing to the far left in the beginning. Hopefully in time it settles into a healthy swing .

  In my sister's case in particular she swung into substance abuse and an extremely unhealthy and dangerous lifestyle. She was never able to pull herself out of it and committed suicide a couple of years ago. Sadly there are too many ex-JW kids that are like this.

  It might take time but eventually most find a lifestyle that works for them. Sadly some don't
• 

  Amazing

  AfricanGB,

  Most Ex-JW's DF/DA that I know end up living a dangerous life. ... Why do most ex-Dubs end up in a predicament of some sort? Are they psychologically affected by years of chains and abuse, and therefore end up looking to make up for lost time and enjoy/explore their freedom to the fullest?

  When you say "most," you do so without the slightest evidence or credible supporting reference. Nothing proves any JW theory 'right.' When people of any sort are repressed for an extended period, problems are bound to happen. Jehovah's Witnesses are no different, and having the DF'd or DA'd label has little bearing on how a person behaves inside or outside the Watchtower organization. There are as many JWs who commit serious sins (break Watchtower rules) that do not get DF'd or DA'd.

  It's difficult for me to say this, but it seems like JW's are partly right on this one.

  No, the JWs are not partly right. There is no statistical data or supporting references, and that is why neither the Watchtower Society nor you are able cite such evidence. The Watchtower simply tells its members that the 'majority' of DF'd JWs are guilty of some serious sin (usually sexual immorality), and the JWs gobble it up ... and even ex-JWs carry forward these nonsense myths.

  In the time I served as an Elder, and the 30-years of JC files I reviewed in my care (I have explained in other posts why I had to do this) I did not find a majority of DFings for serious sin. There was a large variety so-called Watchtower rule violations. Some were DF'd because they attended a religious function, or for no longer accepting Watchtower dogma, some for smoking, some for continuously repeated masturbation,I recall one for 'lacking' love, believe it or not. Yes, JWs do commit what a normal Christian would consider serious sin, like fornication, drugs, adultery, etc. But, hell, the JW ratio of those that do these things that remain in the organization is actually greater than those who are DF'd. At one time, in our congregation, about 35% of the JWs were on some kind of restriction for serious 'sin.' This is greater than the 1% of the JWs that were DF'd from our congregation each year. The DF label is merely due to an arbitrary system of judging someone's repentance. Young people will act out at times due to the restrictive life they lived as JWs. But the JWs inside the organization get into just as much trouble, if not more so, than those who are DF'd or DA'd.

  The facts: Even my own presentation lacks evidentiary facts ... precisely because I do not have access to such facts, and can only speak from specific experience. I suggest that if you study behavioral psychology some, especially the effects of a repressed lifestyle, you may find all sorts of fascinating details which you can report back to JWN ... and then make some sensible application to the JW and ex-JW world.
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  isaacaustin

  african GM member...why don't you fill us in on yourself. You are an active JW? An apologist?

  You will find that when you spew Wt trash here is is quickly refuted. Such a ridiculous and untrue generalization as the one stated above is typical of the WT...and it works on its captive members. I have left the org. I have never been in any sort of trouble. I live a 'good life'.

  Let me reverse the question to you- why is depression so rampant among those in the org?
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  Finally-Free

  It's probably next to impossible to get accurate statistics to confirm whether this is true or not. It makes sense to me that someone, after living in a strictly regulated environment for many years, may throw caution to the wind for a while and experiment with many different things after suddenly gaining their freedom. Add to that the emotional trauma that goes with losing everyone you ever knew, and it's no wonder that some might 'self medicate' or indulge in other self destructive behaviour. I think that, for the most part, ex jws achieve a balance within a couple of years.

  W
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  yknot

  I agree that the statement is a bit to broad...... and WTS propaganda.

  While some have taken drastic turns, most of the time it is because they view themselves as 'worthless' because the WTS and their families view them as worthless as a result of the DFing (especially young ones).

  But of course most of those stories come from before the widespread availability of the internet. Now those who might have fell into that catagory can log on and find out that they are not alone.

  Look the only difference between DFd (and remember some Elders DF to 'set an example', not having a thing to do with repentance) and non-DFd JWs is that the DFd one got caught.