therapist says affairs can help some/my marriage....really... (page 3)

John Doe

I question if that's what the therapist said, or if that's just what oompa heard.

John Doe, I see what you are saying. Some therapists will not offer advice but just
talk about what you say. Perhaps Oompa said it would be an idea and the therapist
didn't object but just asked questions and talked about it.

Either way, it ain't really our need to know, Oompa. So don't make an issue out of
it whether you or the therapist suggested, approved an affair. It sounds like you got
some great advice. Divorce or get a Camero or whatever. But be fair.

I would say that since you need to grow and be more, just do so. Get DF'ed if that's
what it takes. Spread your wings and fly. Don't cheat on your wife. If that ain't enough,
then get a divorce.

undercover

Some therapists will not offer advice but just talk about what you say. Perhaps Oompa said it would be an idea and the therapist didn't object but just asked questions and talked about it.

Yea, kinda like the therapists on TV. All they ever seem to say is, "How does that make you feel?"

Awakened at Gilead

People hear what they want to hear... confirmation bias, anyone?....

OnTheWayOut

It sounds like you got some great advice.

HERE!!!!! HERE!!!! Not there at the therapist.

daniel-p

Just because you're no longer a JW doesn't mean you have no more obligtion to be honorable or respectful to someone who has beared your children. The fact that you come on here and chat up the possibility of having an affair in order to end your marriage is disgusting. Both your contemplated method of ending the marriage and the fact that you make it a topic of discussion, thus further humiliating your wife and kids amongst strangers. Grow the fuck up.

mentalclearness

I just had to deal with this. I´m not married but I cheated on my long distance boyfriend. I don`t recommend doing it at all, even if no one finds out. The guilt that you have to deal with is beyond belief and just the rottenness you feel inside is completely soul shattering. I had never done it before and now of course I regret it so much. I did end of telling my boyfriend and of course we are no longer together. But that's really not the point. You will have to live with yourself and having hurt someone that didn`t deserve it for the rest of your life.

IP_SEC

therapist says affairs can help some/my marriage....really.

Hate to break it to ya but... I dont think he had prostitutes in mind.

yesidid

Both your contemplated method of ending the marriage and the fact that you make it a topic of discussion,

thus further humiliating your wife and kids amongst strangers

That really stunned me also.

Mrs. Fiorini

Oompa said, "It does seem that the vast majority of people i know that have divorced......did so because of a relationship with another person, be it brief or longterm, and that is also usually the way they escape all things jw."

I've noticed this, too, among JWs. I think it's because they are taught that the only way to "break" a marriage is adultery. So if they really want a divorce, they go find someone willing to have sex with them, and then they consider the marriage over. I think this is sad, as some have meaningless sexual encounters for just this purpose.

I find it interesting that JW policies actually encourage immoral behavior that way, by leaving people in difficult marriages with no other way out.

therapist says affairs can help some/my marriage....really...

Share this