i know you are thinking what is the harm if she never knew. some of these thigns can jsut be sensed. and even so the longer it goes on and if she happens to find outm, man you could really ruin that womens life for some time emotionaly... i really think its ajust a cruel thing to do. you say why cant i jsut be happy with her. because your not happy doesnt give u the right to do this to her to sleep with another person. jsut man up and tell her you want a seperation if you are not happy anymore. stop hiding from the main problem jsut becuae the psych thinks its ok
therapist says affairs can help some/my marriage....really...
by oompa 51 Replies latest jw friends
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JWdaughter
Oompa, they always find out, #1.
#2. Talk to her elders. Tell them that she is not honoring the marriage committment. Hey, they get in the middle of marital issues all the time. They need to have a little talk with her about giving her marriage due and not punishing you for your lack of theocratic activity. You might want to point out that that kind of thing doesn't make you any warmer to 'the truth'. In whatever way will work with those guys, let them know that she is giving a poor witness, and essentially cheating on YOU because of it.
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skeeter1
Oompa,
Having read so many of your posts, I get the feeling that you are a deep sort of guy. Not the type to just have mindless sex with a gal. Affairs are very bad for YOU. I agree that you need a new counselor, or perhaps this counselor was just getting you to think more about life and your decisions.
Having an affair could really hurt EVERYONE, including YOU, in the end.
What if you find the perfect woman? As the song says, "I'm in love, with the other woman." Say you leave your wife to be with her, I guarantee she will never really trust you 100%! Remember that Frank Sinatra song lyric, "It's no good unless she loves you...ALL the way." You will be cheating yourself of her complete trust. A marraige out of an affair is full of deceipt and marked for failure.
Say you have an affair but decide to stay with your current wife after all. I bet you will think of your fling/"her" every day of the rest of your life. Your mind and soul will be divided by two women. You will be cheating yourself of piece of mind that comes from being "in love" with just one woman.
Skeeter (who did not use a country song lyric for this post)
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oompa
I still find it interesting how many people love to instantly make strong/harsh/cruel opinions without carefully reading a post, or taking the time to ask a probing question about someones post. Fortunately for all members here, most do not do that, and i appreciate your thoughtful comments and especially your personal insights and wisdom. No matter what i do though, if it ends this marriage in any way including seperation, it would hurt my wife so much i may never forgive myself. I usually just want to go far far away...alone. But of course the hurt to my wife would be the same. By nature, i am very caring person......................oompa
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John Doe
I usually just want to go far far away...alone. But of course the hurt to my wife would be the same.
You really think so? I don't know your wife, but I know being left would not be as hard on me as being left, lied to, cheated on and deceived.
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oompa
What i meant was anything that ends the marriage would hurt her John Doe.
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John Doe
Getting a papercut hurts. Getting run over by a Mack truck also hurts.
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IP_SEC
I still find it interesting how many people love to instantly make strong/harsh/cruel opinions without carefully reading a post, or taking the time to ask a probing question about someones post Oompa. One man to another. There are many more factors than the words in the post. There is also the "why would anyone say this on a public forum" factor. There is also tone and past experience with the topic and poster in particular.
I judge you not. From the subject matter and poster experience factor, I'd say I agree with whats been said so far.
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John Doe
And if ip writes more than 3 lines, you know he's being serious.
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