MY DAD WANTS TO STUDY WITH THE KIDS

by thebigdebate 40 Replies latest jw experiences

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  thebigdebate

  I am in good standing (of sorts) with the WTS. I have not gone out in service for 10 years - I have not been to a meeting in about 2 years - I skipped last years Memorial. My dad is a pioneer and elder. I hate almost everything with this cult. He has been hearing some of the stuff that I have said to other people, so he know my view of it. Now he asked me if he could study with my kids. I am not df'd. I have tried to keep my opinions to myself. How should I answer this?

  I told him that I am not for or against it. I told him that in raising my kids that "I WILL NOT PREVENT THEM FROM ANY REASEARCH". Like JW's do!

  I am not worried that my kids will fall for this cult. I have noticed that of about 100 people my age (31) that I grew up with only 2 or 3 are still involved (for real), a few more still hang around but are not really in.

  I guess the question is should I tell him that I dont want him talking to my kids about this?

  thebigdebate
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  momzcrazy

  NO NO NO

  Or if you have them well trained they can try like my MIL did. Ended up with her leaving the room in tears!

  It is the parent's job to teach and train, not the grandparents. I know that they are told to try to train grandkids if the parents are slacking, but it is mom and dad's responsibility. Whether Grandpa likes what you are teaching or not.

  Sorry, that got me a bit angry.
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  thebigdebate

  The only problem is that I dont want to look like an apostate. I am also trying to get the point across that we dont have to be afraid of information, we can research anthing and sort out what make sense to us, to form our beliefs. I am trying to encourage him to research on the JW's, so he can see both sides of the story.

  thebigdebate
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  willyloman

  Tell him that the WTS makes it clear it is up to parents to teach bible principles to their children and you are already doing that. If he wants to challenge you on that, tell him the bible condemns judging and he should look to the rafter in his own eye. End of subject.

  I do not think - and you did ask - that under any circumstances you should let you parent come in and brainwash your children. They are kids, for god's sake! They will be conflicted and made weary by guilt. And you would be failing in your job to protect your kids from harm.
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  momzcrazy

  The only problem with letting someone so strong in the religion study with him, is that he will not get an objective lesson. He will hear the rhetoric that is repeated, and that we heard as kids.

  I would personally study with him yourself. Study all the materials. But objectively compare it strictly to the Bible, and ask those probing questions.

  If Grandpa does it, he will have literature and Bible verses bent to suit the needs of what is written there.

  I did that with our kids, when we were leaving. It did get a bit hard, because we really couldn't find Biblical backup for many things in the literature.
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  truthsetsonefree

  I actually walk a tight rope with this. My Mom and my ex try to indoctrinate my daughter. What I do with the grandmother is NOT to DIRECTLY oppose it. She is allowed to study with her. But it is not regular. I put every roadblock possible like scheduling issues and schoolwork. Further, I choose the material, which means that I avoid the particularly dangerous material. I ask my Mom to use the YPA book and focus on tween issues like boys and puberty, teen sex, that sort of thing. At least those are issues where I want my daughter to have some of the JW ideals. For the most part with my Mom, once I let it be known studying was okay, the wind was taken out of her sails and she chooses not to fight me on my choices of material.

  Isaac
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  drew sagan

  I agree that a balance should be struck, but that you should take into consideration motives.

  JWs are very strong in their appraoch. If they notice that they are getting "bites" in terms of positive feedback from the kids this will be used as a way to justify pushing even harder.

  Personally, I would advise against it. The goal of any good JW is to push for conversion and commitment. He may be thinking long term, but the goal is most likely still there. Better to not let something like this creep into your life and create division down the road.

  Eventually he would be telling you things about what the "kids wanted" without connecting it to his own ambitions. I can just picture him sayting something like:

  "but your kids really want to go to the meetings, don't you think you should let them worship Jehovah if they want to?"

  Is that really something you want to be dealing with? He is trying to make in on your passive nature. You don't have to be mean to him when you shoot the idea down. Just casually say "maybe when they're older" and move onto another subject.
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  jamiebowers

  Am I understandng you correctly? You can't bring yourself to go to the meetings, but you're wondering if you should let your dad study with your kids, so he won't think you're an apostate.

  No child should be exposed to the mind control techniques of the WB&TS, even if said exposure protects you from accusations of apostasy. If anything, you should be instructing your children to fortify them against the scary stories that your father may tell them about armageddon and the "fact" that they and their father probably won't survive it.
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  Scully

  Studying = manipulation = brainwashing. Brainwashing into the JW mindset = potential for your kids to eventually become JWs and be required to shun you.

  Let me ask you something: If a psychopath/sociopath offered to spend that kind of "quality time" with your kids teaching them what he believes, would you allow it? If you believe that WTS teachings are pathological, then you owe it to your kids to keep them far, far away from that mental poison. They are YOUR kids. YOU decide what they learn and don't learn.

  In all honesty, I suspect that your dad is testing YOU. He wants to figure out where you stand - with the JWs or against them. If you say "OK", then he feels that YOU are not a threat to HIM. If you say "NO", then he will believe that you are.
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  troubled mind

  I am sorry but WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE !!!!!!

  I had no say in the fact my mother raised me in this brainwashing cult ,my father felt there was no harm allowing the woman of the house chosing the childrens religious education . Well I tell you now at 47 yrs. old I wish my Dad had put his foot down and said "NO " "my children will not be subjected to this crap " .....

  It is YOUR responsibility to protect your children, and in my opinion What is wrong with filtering what information they should be exposed to ? especially when you know the bad effects it has had on others .

  Be a grown up , quit worrying that YOU may have to take a stand ! This could very well effect your kids mental well being ......

  Why would you subject them to something you obviously don't believe in as the truth yet you will allow a family member try to indoctrinate them .On top of that lets confuse them by dividing loyalties because it is a Grandparent .