Edultery.....

by yknot 64 Replies latest members private

  • caliber
    caliber

    Lets get a clear definition of cyber cheating .... http://www.cyber-cheaters.com/

    Cheating (noun) = Any sexual behavior, engaged in secretively with a person not one's spouse, that would make the spouse feel betrayed if discovered

    If cyber-cheating 'doesn't count', then why are they trying to keep it a secret? This is really the question to ask both them and yourself. Do people really keep secret something that they feel is OK to do? I don't believe so - and neither should you.

    What about emotional cheating ?

    First, every individual has his or her own values, convictions and beliefs about how life best operates, and since couples are formed by individuals, they will also operate uniquely; no two couples will behave the same way or share the same rules. The challenge of all couples, then, is to decide their own rules and to engage in dialogue about what might or might not be considered "cheating." Of course, the essence of the solution here is communication. Are you talking with -- not to or at, but with -- each other about this situation? Have you had a talk about what your relationship defines as cheating? Clearly, that needs to happen first. Your husband may not be aware that you consider what he's doing to be cheating because he might have had a different set of beliefs about that form of communication (internet chatting, etc) going into your relationship.http://www.chinika.com/site3/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=121&Itemid=176

    Cal

  • StAnn
    StAnn

    YKnot, you have a PM.

    StAnn

  • caliber
    caliber

    shameless BTTT.. want people to see definition I found

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    bek

    'Do termites have a conscience? '

    I'll ask the one w the chewed off antennae, next time i see him.

    S

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d
    Biting off the tip of a mate's antenna might squelch thoughts

    Yep, that ought to do it.

  • yknot
    yknot

    I am at my mom's right now ..... so posting is like a teenager snatching a swig from the liquor cabinet.....

    I want to thank all of you for your comments, PMs, and thoughts......... they mean more then you realize, thank you so much!

    All of the insight is so greatly appreciated.

    I scheduled counseling appoint for myself on Monday, he has agreed to speak privately on Thursday.

    Thank you again

  • LDH
    LDH
    An person sent me an email telling me something was afoot and to go to a certain website link but apprarently also sent the email to everyone else in their contact file by accident.

    Yeah right.

    Snap assessment.....a lot of people around you seem to have 'accidents.' You know, your husband 'accidentally' was looking for a NSA screw, and a 'friend' spreads your business in a 'small town where everyone seems to know your business.' Gee, I wonder how.

    I don't suggest you get paranoid, no one's out to get you. I suggest you get, at the least, new friends. And possibly a new husband.

    Sorry you're having to deal with this cretin.

  • mavie
    mavie

    Sorry to hear about this. I sincerely hope you do what is best for you.

    One comment though. I realize you are angry and upset at the moment but your statement "feed em, f*ck em, and keep the kids, dog, and house clean" does not work for all men.

    I'm not making any excuses for what he did, but there may be a kernel of truth when he told you he needed an ego boost. He went about it in a totally inappropriate way, yet this may be something to discuss if you can get to that point.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Perhaps ask him what you can do to "boost his ego"? Does he want admiration, appreciation, attention?

  • QuestioningEverything
    QuestioningEverything

    FWB-friends with benefits

    NSA-no strings attached

    Sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you are able to get the trust back.

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