My theory about the behavior and obsession of some ex-JWs

by Simon 135 Replies latest jw friends

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  Sirona

  The other aspect I see is that some of the kick-outs are bitter and resentful against the WTS that kicked them out for their behaviour (I'm talking again about those whos behavior warranted it).

  The only issue I have with your view is that you are somehow saying that being "kicked out" ie disfellowshipped, is OK. Whilst its true that there are rules in place in the congregations, I personally will never agree with disfellowshipping, no matter WHAT the person has done. Then you see people getting DF'd because they had sex with someone they love outside of marriage, or they smoked. So you can't say that those kicked out are all disobedient tearaways. I realise you were not referring to everyone though.

  This doesn't apply to me because I walked out, but for some DF'd ones, I don't think they can be tarred with a certain brush purely because of the DFing.

  When they subsequently misbehave on discussion forum like this one (which their anger and obsession probably makes more likely) then they simply transfer their resentment and anger to whoever is responsible and possibly the ex-JW community as a whole (or those who frown on the unwanted behavior).

  I'm sure we can all think of examples of these types (well, I can anyway!)

  I can see how this would be the case if someone broke the rules on the forum over and over and then got really angry about it. Yes.

  Sirona
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  wednesday

  Anyone who doesn't accept the fact that there are examples of "dregs of humanity" in the JW org. are naive. I won't relate any examples, but you can pretty much include every kind of rotten (and criminal) behaviour you can think of

  Gregor

  I think there are tons more down trodden & burdened and beat up persons as compared to the truly criminal. of course criminals exist, but even criminals have a chance to change their lives.

  I'd rather be naive than have a cold cold heart. I never let jws turn my heart to a piece of stone.
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  willyloman

  Those who walk away conscientiously and those who are forced to leave as a consequence of some action have different mind-sets.

  Once I described my exit as the act of a conscientious objector, meaning I walked away because my conscience told me this was the wrong place for me to be and I felt compelled to leave. Someone posted a reply saying they'd never really thought of a DF'd person as a conscientious objector. Apparently, this person viewed any ex-dub as someone who had been DF'd. That was their only frame of reference.

  Many of the exdubs described in Hilary Step's post, above, were marginal dubs with very limited experience as a JW. Those who walked away from a lifetime of dubdom, having chosen the life voluntarily as adults and later rethinking their position - or having been born-in but having a crisis of conscience forty years later - are on a whole other path.

  The successful transition for people like me required a lot of soul-searching, reading, thinking and self-talk, made much easier by JWD and the Ray Franz book and other resources. But doing that work made it possible to transform my thinking.

  Those steeped in disappointment and bitterness may not see the need to do the work and often don't recover very well. The result is is much like when addicts or victims of physical, mental or even sexual abuse don't get professional help and think they can heal on their own. They may succeed but it's rare.
• 

  Simon

  The only issue I have with your view is that you are somehow saying that being "kicked out" ie disfellowshipped, is OK. Whilst its true that there are rules in place in the congregations, I personally will never agree with disfellowshipping, no matter WHAT the person has done. Then you see people getting DF'd because they had sex with someone they love outside of marriage, or they smoked. So you can't say that those kicked out are all disobedient tearaways. I realise you were not referring to everyone though.

  So if someone was a pedophile or had committed rape they should not be kicked out? Sorry ... I thought that is what a lot of us argued for and criticised the WTS for *not* doing.

  Where you think the line should be drawn for other things is a personal decision. If the rules are that adultery is wrong then that is the rule and the fact is that if they commit adultery and are disfellowshipped for it they knew the rule and broke it.

  What most people object to with disfellowshipping is the pressure not to associate with family members if people want to do so and where it is used as a club to keep people in check 'politically'.
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  Simon

  Mouthy: I don't think anyone would ever characterise you as bitter in any way - you are one of those that does their best to help others which is a damn good thing!
• 

  hillary_step

  Wednesday:

  I'd rather be naive than have a cold cold heart.

  These are not the only options.

  HS
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  Gerard

  The kicked-outs I'm thinking of are those where there were good reasons to kick them out based on the rules in place. So, it could be because of drugs, morality issues or whatever.

  Simon, sometimes you can be a perfect ignorant asshole.
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  Bendrr

  You've got to keep one thing in mind about those who are disfellowshipped. When a JW "sins", whether it was fornication or adultery or smoking a cigarette or whatever, they can either be reproved or disfellowshipped. The decision to disfellowship is made because the elders judge whether or not the person is repentant enough. They're disfellowshipped for not being repentant and that decision is made in secret by imperfect and often biased men. And all this based on the JW's interpretation of one scripture which ignores everything Jesus said and did.
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  UnConfused

  But if you join a religion knowing the rules concerning sex, drugs, drinking etc - break them and then get kicked out - what would you expect?
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  Sirona

  The point here is that by agreeing that people should be "kicked out" we are agreeing with the JW cult. We are actually saying that disfellowshipping is OK as long as they've done something we consider to be "bad" (adultery, smoking, drugs, etc.)

  This does not allow for compassion and love for the individuals concerned and seems to go against everything that Christianity in general is aiming for (forgiveness etc.)

  Other religions get along just fine without having to enforce stringent rules and destroy people's lives.

  Then there is the suggestion that those who get kicked out are somehow less than those who don't get kicked out. I won't even go there - I just don't agree. But I will accept that Simon specified that he wasn't talking about everyone.

  Sirona