My Marriage just ended I feel so sick and stressed please help me. Serious.

by Witness 007 61 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Octarine Prince
    Octarine Prince

    Stab in the dark:

    Is she addicted to or abusing her pain relief meds? This can contribute to her recent change, also.

  • besty
    besty

    I recommend reading http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0151010986 as a matter of urgency

    Chapter 6 particularly in your case.

  • JK666
    JK666

    W007,

    I can really relate to the back problems! I had a long time GF after leaving the Org, that had numerous back surgeries. We were together for close to 5 years, but the multiple back surgeries and her taking narcotics changed her personality.

    I was with her through three major back surgeries, and she turned against me even though I was with her though all her problems. I am with you, and will talk any time.

    JK

  • still_in74
    still_in74

    007

    dude, I dont know how to explain it but I have an enormous degree of sympathy for you. I am getting anxious reading your thread!

    I cant imagine the pain you are in, but I can imagine myself in your situation if I were to grow a pair and tell my wife how I really feel about the org. I can see it destroying our marriage even though I know she loves me and I love her. My stomach is in knots thinking about it.

    It sounds like your wife may be on the down-side of a bi-polar episode caused by depression. Losing her freinds/family and now having a messed up back she may be blaming you for her misery. this could pass but could take years, even then it is certain to reappear in the future. The crappy reality is that it may be best for you to let this happen. I know it easy for me to say that but right now you love her, keep this up for another couple years and you may find yourself miserable and hating her!

    Dude, we are all here for ya. we really are.

    Still.............

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Dear 007: Part of being a man, sadly, is being torn asunder.

    It's awful. Especially now. But it will get better.

    You may find that you always love her - but it won't be in a "half of me is gone" way, it will be more, "she showed me parts of myself, so that I know I am whole."

    You are still a whole person. The pain will ease over time. This is just the first painful step along a path.

    (((007)))

  • Layla33
    Layla33

    Stay strong, don't let it break down. But I totally understand where you are coming from, I got a little choked up just reading your post. Divorce is so very hard and painful. It's like losing a part of your body, but you know what, you do survive, you will be okay. Now, I know reading this from a stranger on a message board may not matter, but I have been there, I didn't think I had the strength to walk away, but I knew if I stayed I would be miserable. And no one deserves to be miserable. And everyday I got up, I had a great bunch of friends, I cried, I laughed and everyday I got a little bit stronger, my life became something on my terms.

    Stay strong, get a good support system, and don't be afraid to have a therapist help your through it. Peace be with you...

  • LockedChaos
    LockedChaos

    I feel for you!

    Been through a divorce

    Shortly thereafter I left the borg

    Shortly thereafter met someone new

    Horrible experience all the way around

    It's not easy

    No shortcuts

    Take it slow

    Get an attorney

    Stay relatively sober - that never really helps

    Trust me on that

  • M.J.
    M.J.

    I have no good advice that others haven't offered. But I'm so sorry about this and hope you can heal from this soon.
    I enjoy your posts..from what I can see you got a lot going for you...things will get better.

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    Oh honey, I'm really sad for you. BUT you are a man, regardless if you are pacing the house and crying. It hurts, it's OK to cry.

    Also, GET A LAWYER! You can still be fair and handle it in a mature loving manner. BUT if she tries to pull a fast one, again!!!!, you will be prepared. She threw you for a loop this time, she can do it again.

    And you will be OK. I promise.

    momz

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    First loves are very painful, when they are over, cuz they aren't over, though you wish they were. It's a battle, w the heart on one side, and the mind on the other. Your mind knows it's better for it to be over. Your heart knows only the good feelings you had, and doesn't want to let go and let emptiness in. The spirit doesn't give a shit.

    Some things you can do: keep busy. Get w friends, sorry you don't have any, outside the jws. Get drunk, but not too much, or too often. Join a gym, and start working out. The gym milieu does something for the man in you. Learn meditation. If you work hard at it, you can get into the socalled spirit. In that place, you don't give a shit, you feel ok. It only lasts for a little while, and you have to do it again.

    It get's easier. Good luck.

    S

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