I'm an honorary homosexual (page 21)

avishai

coolhandluke, great stuff, man. You and I should hang out one of these days.

i guess because you said, 'i guess it explains you more'. it almost feels like you are saying, 'well now it all falls into place, you're just in the closet'. it, from my perspective, negates how much it took for me to write that for you. thank you for the thank you. the purpose of writing it for me was to create a safe space for you without judgement, without contempt for you to just be. your reaction pushes aside that space and thats hard for me to take considering what i gave you.

avishai - i would love that. everytime you post about burning man i get a huge itch. maybe the next one we can hang out. i'd be super down for it

fleaman uk

Great post back there CHL.I agree with Avishai..i reckon you would be a great company for some beers.

Me,you and Avi on the town.Lock up your daughters! (and sons? ;) )

coolhandluke

Me,you and Avi on the town.Lock up your daughters! (and sons? ;) )

Sweet. Thanks for the compliment. I'd totally be down. I'll be in the UK within the next 6 months. I'll do my best to look you up

Junction-Guy

You jumped the gun and assumed wrong, that wasn't even my thought.

I meant to say that it explains more about you as a person and how you view love and friendship.

If I really wanted to say something negative, I would have, and I defintely wouldn't have thanked you for sharing that with us.

coolhandluke

then i apologize for jumping the gun. im just trying to get you to open up and not allow any self loathing or frustration or rejection to allow for anything other than honesty and an embracing of who and what you are.

Junction-Guy

I don't know how to answer that last post, but thanks anyway. I need to get to bed in a few, I am tired, and need some sleep.

nameless_one

thanks for all the wishes everybody. JG i dont know you. but the thing i have learned in my life is summed up in this phrase i learned. please read and reread it. 'they change the sky not their souls those that run across the sea'. no matter what, at the end of the day what we are left with is ourselves, our true selves, not the ones that pose in the mirror, not the ones that put on a face to face the world, not the ones that hide what they are for acceptance, not the ones that say certain things to fit in, but ourselves, good, bad and indifferent. i have had to come to terms with that, embrace who i am. for what its worth i'll put myself out there for you:

i'm a straight guy that occasionally finds men attractive, at least in an asthetic way. i hold hands with my gay friends in public to make straight people uncomfortable. i let my girlfriend place her finger in the holiest of holies and i like it, a lot. i have thought of kissing a man but stopped not because i was afraid but because the idea didnt appeal to me, though i still think about it. i think more than anything i feel attractions to people on an emotional level regardless of sex. i just love people. my best friend is a 5'9" iranian elder who i love dearly but dont talk to out of respect for his religion. part of me wished at one point in time that he was a girl so i could marry him. i love him. he is the best example of human aside from my girlfriend that i can point a finger at. another close friend once invited me into a threesome with him and his calvin klein model girlfriend. part of me thought about it because i loved him as well and quite honestly because his girlfriend was hot. the idea of a penis in my mouth isn't absolutely repulsive. i guess what im trying to say is that i dont limit who i love to a sex. i dont think that it is in my nature to have a sexual relationship with a man but i wouldn't put it past me. how do i know that i have simply not met the perfect man? with that said i think i have the perfect woman... at least perfect for me so there is no longing for anything else. we are who we are. denying it only delays our growth. i used to think, 'fuck am i gay because i have these thoughts?' i thought that because what straight man would have the capacity to be attracted to another man? then i realized that it wasn't about straight or gay. it was about having a heart big enough to contain love for people. not straight people, not gay people, not males, not females, not the old, nor the young, neither the black or white or asian, but simply people. in that realization i was free. i was free of falling into stupid, close minded steroptypes of what was 'expected' of a man, a big black man at that. in that freedom i am whole and there is no one that if compelled that i couldn't love.

i hope that this 'putting myself out' doesn't fall on deaf ears or a calloused heart. it has taken a great deal for me to share myself like this in public so i hope that you appreciate it and take it for what it is worth. i have given you a part of my soul. earn that.

That's one of the most beautiful, open, honest posts I've ever read here. I don't know you coolhandluke, but I suspect you're one of those bright special people who would make anyone's life richer for having you in it.

I've no idea what happened to this thread and why it went as it did for so many pages; reading it all in one sitting was kind of like watching a train wreck in slow motion. So, I just felt a need to acknowledge this post and say GO YOU and thanks for sharing it. And congrats on being asked to stand up for your friend at his wedding (original topic anyone?). That's a sincere honor, and it sounds like your friend chose well.

Crumpet

That's one of the most beautiful, open, honest posts I've ever read here. I don't know you coolhandluke, but I suspect you're one of those bright special people who would make anyone's life richer for having you in it.

Beautifully put namelessone. Putting personal bias aside, he really is and does.

free2think

That was beautiful CHL, i totally agree with what you said.

Thank you.

I'm an honorary homosexual

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