How Can people talk to Children like that.... (page 3)

Tired of the Hypocrisy

Another Abuser begins the trip down that path. Kids do not need to be told crap like that. Mom says, oh I would never really do that. Then WHY SAY IT???!! dumb whore.

Scully

I believe thats true we don't know the extended circumstances, and I realise kids do push your limits at times, just that there is a time and place to get after them for behavior and its not in the public eye.

Having a few kids of my own, I've learned from experience that kids are especially adept at pushing limits when you're out in public with them. They are counting on you to not want to be embarrassed publicly. They know how they are supposed to behave, yet they choose a public setting in which to misbehave - because they know, more often than not, the parents will not want to make a scene and will give them what they want.

I know a lot of kids have temper tantrums at home, but the public ones are far more effective in terms of kids getting what they want in order to shut them up.

I dunno - I think I'd rather see a parent deal with the inappropriate behaviour when it happens, because the private beating they get may be even worse than a few harsh words or discipline in public.

MissingLink

Right on Scully. That's what I was trying to say, but not so good.

Hope4Others

You see red -- they see an opportunity! You lose control -- and lose authority! You swore you'd never say things your parents said -- until you open your mouth and there they are! You promise you won't react the same way again -- but you always do ... Sound familiar?

These thoughts I found from an author called Bonnie Harris..."When kids push your buttons what can you do about it"

It kind of reminds me of "Nanny 911" I really got into that...I could see the difference the way you

react could make...They still get repercussions for their actions....and their bad behavior is dealt with. Your just

no longer at wits end...

h4o

Sirona

exjw

I've said to my kids things like "If you don't watch you mouth you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor", "don't make me smack the living shite out of you".

Presumably you think it is OK to threaten physical violence?

Sirona

Bumble Bee

Speaking from my own experience, words DO HURT, and a kid very rarely forgets things like that. Yes, I believe in correcting problems right then and there, but there is no need to humiliate or berate or belittle children in public or private - I had that done to me my whole childhood and let me tell you, it's really really hard to forget what was said to you.

I have talked to my step mother about the things she said to me as a child (and an adult) and frankly she sees nothing wrong with it, and denies most of it (my siblings know better, so I'm not making it up). Because of this I've had to tell her that she can't be an active part in my daily life because of the angry outburst and hurtful things she still says.

I remember one time, and this still is vivid in my memory, we were camping way up north - there was nothing for miles and miles except bush and lakes. I was maybe 13, my brother 9, and he and mom were arguing over something, and she said she was going to stop the car and leave him there. Me being the big sister, piped up and said she couldn't do that, so she threatened to leave me there with him. This was some scary shit for two kids to think about, nothing for miles (we were camping approx 100km from the nearest town), bear and moose country, wolves, mosquitoes big enough to carry you away! lol I was back in that area last week, and driving past the spot where it happened, and it came flooding back to me. The friend I was with noticed something was wrong and asked what it was and I told him, it was a pretty intense moment for me.

Parents, don't threaten your kids like that. (Plus leaving a child in a car, in this area atleast, is illegal.)

BB

keyser soze

I think we're making a lot of assumptions here. First, that this woman would actually lock her kids in the car. Second, that the kids would actually believe it. So now we're going to label things parents say to their kids in a fit of rage as abuse? How many parents would we condemn by doing this? We continue to tie parents hands as to what is an acceptable way to deal with unruly behavior, and then criticize those same parents when their kids display a lack of discipline. These were just words, plain and simple. I highly doubt these kids will be scarred for life. I'm willing to bet you were far more affected by the incident than they were.

Hope4Others

I bet I was too Keysor....

Except I saw the whole thing transpire and watched intensely horrified. She said a lot more than that.,,

I was giving the water downed version....

h4o

MissingLink

I know what Keyser is saying. These things are not taken literally. I remeber as a kid parents saying things like "I'll skin you alive if you ...". Of course, no kid actually imagined that the parent would pull out a knife and remove their skin as a punishment! Or did some dumb kids actually think thats what would happent?

Robdar

I think I'm going to call my son today and thank him for being such a good kid when he was growing up.

How Can people talk to Children like that....

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