Ask Happy Homemaker! (page 11)

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How do you clean stainless steel in the kitchen?

ninja

baby oil cokey....go with the (grain)?...you know what I mean....comes up lovely......yer mate...ninja...

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Ninj:

Thanks and welcome back!

Happy Happymaker!

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Tent draping to hold in extermination gases ... did you remove your husband before pumping?

When unexpected (and perhaps unwanted?!?!?) guests drop in, make them take you to the local diner - a nostalgic way to wile away the evening and get a free meal. After all, these freeloading pests should get a taste of what it's like to be incommoded and for once have the tables turned on them.

Speaking of tables, I understand red gingham table cloths continue to be de rigueur in most greasy spoons. What do you say?

Enjoy life! Eat out more often! Make your cheap, uninvited guests pay!

Happy Homemaker!

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1946 GE Washer

Today's smart and modern homemaker is no longer content to haul in buckets of water from the creek, or "luckier" still, to draw that timeless washing commodity from the hand-dug well out yonder. Our all-electric laundry is now outfitted with the luxurious wringer washer that you see pictured above.

Toss out Grandma's old washboard and washtub (unless, of course, you have an eye for future collectibles) and say good-bye to rough, red hands!

Madam, say hello to freedom from washday blues!

Hope this helps!

Happy Homemaker!

Hortensia

I haven't dusted in months. And, frankly, I don't give a damn. Is there any hope for me? Or will I be doomed to die in a pile of lint and be swept out the door by neater people?

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Dear Happy Homemaker,

I haven't dusted in months. And, frankly, I don't give a damn. Is there any hope for me? Or will I be doomed to die in a pile of lint
and be swept out the door by neater people? Hortensia Dear Real-Person Hortensia, I haven't dusted in six months. So shoot me! Oh, I forgot, we're in the same dust bowl. Are you from Oklahoma?

As to hope: there is only one true hope, one that does not lead to disappointment. Somewhere, in the great beyond, is the Great Homemaker in the Sky who will deign to send you the perfect homemaker, one who, in addition to doing laundry, cooking, au pairing (if you have youngsters), and running errands, will also DO WINDOWS and DO DUSTING. It's a hope ... [...] frankly, I don't give a damn. Are you a Hollywood scriptwriter, or in this case, an improvisation coach? Good stuff! [...] will I be doomed to die in a pile of lint and be swept out the door by neater people? Nonsense! You'll outlive us all! Eventually you'll get so sick of the dust that one day you'll simply suck it up and suck it up with your Electrolux (I can get you a discount on bags, Dearie!).

Hope this helps!

Happy Homemaker!

Hortensia

oh well, I splash lashings of bleach around hoping the place will smell clean. I have far more interesting things to do than dust. For instance, my a/c froze up and I turned it off for a while to let it melt. So, it's about 85 in the house, which means when I turn the a/c back on it will take days to really cool off again. The air cools right away, it takes a lot longer to cool the stuff - furniture, walls, etc. So I get to spend some interesting and absorbing time obsessing about the a/c and the fact that crap like that always happens on the weekend.

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Dear Hortensia,

Kindly check out this simple way to deal with home cooling problems:

High Tech Primitive Camping

Click thumbnails for full size photos. Use your "Back" button to return.

No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. That's an air conditioner installed in my tent. It sits on three bricks in the rear door. I zipped both door zippers as close as possible to the sides of the air conditioner, then sealed the small openings between the door and the sides of the air conditioner with duct tape. In a downpour, it leaks just a little. Note that the plug is inside the tent to keep it out of rain. Note the 50 foot extension cord running from the air conditioner to the campsite's electrical outlet pole in the right background.

There's three things you must consider before installing an air conditioner in your tent:

1. The air conditioner must pull no more than 6 or 7 amps.
2. The extension cord must be rated for 15 amps or more.
3. The extension cord must be rated for outdoor use.

There is a reason for that. Plug-in electrical connections generate heat. You don't want the tent end of the extension cord to get hot to the touch. Slighty warm is ok; hot is dangerous. Buy a low-amperage air conditioner and a high-amperage extension cord. Tents make dandy bonfires.

Hope this helps!

Happy Homemaker!

Ask Happy Homemaker!

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