Dona, sorry to hear what you're going through. I DA'd too. Hope you'll stick around and find some comfort on this forum to get support and vent your emotions. You'll find a wealth of friends here. We are here for you. Hang in there!
DIASSOCIATED NO WHERE TO GO LOST AND BROKEN
by DonaLeigh 46 Replies latest social family
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JK666
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((DLS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Welcome to JWD!
I am so glad that you found this site for support and help.
JK
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WTWizard
That is what they want. The worse you feel about it, the more lost you are, the more likely you are to go back to them because you need somewhere to turn to. The problem is, they will use it to extort more out of you. They will not accept you back until they are sure you are going to do what they want you to. And your family will be held hostage.
You have already taken the first step out by joining this board. Most of us here are either disfellowshipped, disassociated, or faded. Those who are still active are staying in only to find material so it can be posted for others to see before it becomes available to the congregations. I urge you to continue posting here, and don't be afraid to ask for support by PM or by posting on the open forum (I suggest the open forum because more people will benefit, unless it is highly personal).
Now, I recommend looking up other sites that shed light on the organization. Is it worth it to have association with family that is contingent on believing a bunch of lies? If not, then it might be wise to seek worldly association. Christian associations might be for you; you might prefer more secular association in a more religiously neutral setting. You will find both types online.
The worst will be missing association with family members. Keep in mind that this is what the Washtowel Slaveholdery is after--that is their primary tool to control others. You will have to do things yourself that you are used to having family. But, you can join a club or a church of your choice and start with new friends. Most important, it should be people that will accept you regardless of what you believe. Of course, you will not have to worry about sending the family out in field circus and getting them all to the Grand Boasting Sessions.
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Witness 007
Welcome from Australia! You will find many on here with the same experiences....I will be re-united with my disfellowshiped Sister next month for the first time in 3 years.....there's hope.
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milligal
Welcome, I'm pretty new here too and I can tell you in just a short time here I have found a place to be myself.
Just hang in there. There are some really intense moments, but they will get better. Where you are now is not where you will always be. The feelings fade and family members have time to sort out their feelings too. your daughter may be in for life, or she may have you as an example of how to think for herself. Either way, you've done what you had to-you exercised the same freedom that she has exercised. It WILL get better.
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New light for you
Dona,
So glad you're here. You found a great place where people understand. It's also a great place to get answers to any witness questions you still might have, and comisserate feelings.
I'm probably going to have to DA next month after I throw my daughters birthday party... i think then the "fade" wont work... at least i have a month to adjust, I was almost forced into it as it sounds like you were , and it was making me sick-literally and emotionally.
Take care of yourself. Now is a time to be comfortable and sure with your decision- that honestly makes you feel better.
I also felt a little better when i sat down and tried to make a list of people that NOW i would be able to contact- old school-mates, friends from jobs that you wern't able to be "friends" with, family that wasn't in the truth, neighbors- and all the people in the future! There's a whole big world out there!
Welcome!
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BFD
Welcome, Dona.
I was DF's a very long time ago. My mom is the only JW in my family now. She did not shun me until 20 years after my DF! If it weren't for the shunning I wouldn't give a rat's ass about JW's and what they believe. The WT$ is a cult that splits up families.
BFD
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jamiebowers
Welcome to JWD. So sorry for your angst. I was df'd 20 years ago and have been shunned by my mother and brother. Losing your religion is devastating, and being shunned is very much like a loved one dying. The pain never goes away completely, but it eases up in time. On the bright side, you can really open up your world and pursue things like education, community involvement and personal relationships with "worldly" acquaintances and relatives. Look for my pm to you, but in the meantime, listen to this song and "hold on":
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SnakesInTheTower
welcome DL.... when you get a chance and are comfortable, I am sure that many here would like to hear the whole story...
As a faded JW (inactive) and former elder and supposedly rising star in the Organization, I can tell you that you are only as good as your last field service report in the eyes of the Borg (Organization). Despite all of the "privileges" and "responsibilities" that I held at the local and regional level, I am of no account to almost all of my former JW associates (friends is too kind of a word).
Now that you are DA, especially that you DA and did not DF (meaning you voluntarily walked away), you are the Devil Incarnate....to be avoided at all costs...because you have started down the path of thinking for yourself....good for you.
WTWizard is right...your feelings are exactly what the Borg wants...and if they can make you feel like $h*t by having you feel isolated from your family, then they get you to start regretting your decision to leave and then you start going back to meetings, writing letters of reinstatement, getting turned down, on and on, until months or years later, when they feel like you are good and brainwashed and regretful enough, then and only then, will they reinstate you into the fold...
DONT FALL FOR IT... dont let the Borg define your worth as a human being. It gets easier the longer you have been out. Of course, with lots of family in, that complicates things and the hurt will linger.... The only thing you can do is reach out to your nonJW family, show your JW family that you can have normal relationships, and never close the door to them. Maybe one day they, like yourself, will have doubts and start down the path you have gone...
hang in there, keep reading, keep posting..... feel free to PM me anytime....
Snakes ()
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Awakened at Gilead
Welcome Fellow DA'd one... join the elite group of courageous men and women who stand up to this organzation at the risk of losing everything.
This board has helped more tremendously... I have realized that I am not crazy, and that many others are in the same boat. I too risked the loss of family and friends... the only one who is still speaking to me is my mother.
I have become proactive about stating friendships... I am seeking friends:
Among exJWs
Among normal non-JWs
Among my non-JW relatives who I have ignored all my life.
Remember, they may shun you, but you don't have to shun them. Ask your family what the Biblical basis for shunning is. There is none! If tehy shun you, they must go against the Bible. This will help them to see that you are more of a "Christian" than they are.
Finally, if 6 Million decide to shun you, there are 6 BILLION who will not. You will be pleasantly surprised at how nice many non-JWs are.
Please tell us the rest of your story...
A@G (of the DA'd, shunned, but free class)