How did you handle facing the reality of death?

by song19 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • chrisjoel
    chrisjoel

    Glad you asked this.

    I think about it all the time. To stop breathing. Not to breath. What the HELL is That like? Once i realized that i wasnt going to live forever on a paradise earth...slowly it creeped upon me ..the realization that this IS real .Im gona freakn DIE and theres NOt a dam stinkin thing i can do about it. HOLY shit MAN!!!...so....when i see that a football player who is 43 yrs old like me just suddenly died of a heart attack..That Freaks ME the HELL out!!!!...Why do so many ppl die in their early 40s? Thats bullshit man they should die when their 80 or 92 or 105 but not in their early 40s!!!!!! ..........anyways.....i hate thinking about it.

    but you know what feaks me out just as much? The day i get a call from my mom saying..." Your Father just died" or from my father saying "your mom is gone".......Jesus Christ what the hell is that day going to be like?...So I dont know. Lots of ppl say this is just a journey. We live on. We DO have an immortal soul and its conscious and we can chose to leave this realm after death or we can stay and be a spirit here still longing for our loved ones..What a pathetic sad state of affairs that we dont know.

    I think the fact that we dont know is cause We just die. I hope when i die its while i sleep. I go to sleep every night for a long time and its almost like dying ..im not conscious im breathing but im not aware. So if i die during my sleep I figure by the time im old i can deal with it much better than Now while i still want to have tons of sex, tons of Ice cream, and lots of bottles of Southern Comfort.

    So death ..go fuck yourself right now.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    It's possible that working that out has saved me from a lot more immature emotional outbursts. I'm pretty embarassed that I ever talked about what paradise would be like and how great it will be to be able to put things off for a hundred years.

    Sheesh every time I think about paradise now it seems like hell. Here's me, right, lazy in an average way. If every person felt the same about getting anything done when we do literally have FOREVER to do it, nothing would get done. There would be no such thing as civilisation.

  • Switch
    Switch

    I've spent the past 6 mos. sad with the thought that I'd never see my dad again. He died in '96 of cancer. It's like I'm grieving him all over again. I'm starting to get over it - though I'm sure I'll always think of dying from time to time.

    The past few days I've had a much more positive outlook. I wake up smiling. I enjoy my kids more and don't stress over when they're being challenging. I spend more time enjoying life - the laundry and dishes can wait. It's really refreshing. (I'm hoping this keeps up! ) Death can't be avoided so concentrate of how to enjoy the gift of life that you have now. Get out of the house and start some new hobbies. I've visited with 3 different neighbors in the past 10 days and it's been so great. It's a slow process but I feel like I'm getting to know them for the first time though I've lived here for 9 years. I feel like the stress has left me for the first time in decades.

    Your beliefs have changed so now you have to change your life. Life is what you make of it. If you are busy enjoying the NOW, then the future is more distant and not in your thoughts. If there's anything after this life, then that'll be a plus. Noone knows for sure. It's crushing to have all your beliefs dashed to pieces but it does get better. It just takes time.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Switch

    What you wrote about your dad really hit home for me - I can't remember feeling sad about my grandparents and in-laws dying. They weren't JWs. We were supposed to "rejoice" over their deaths in This Old System™ because it meant that they would be Resurrected™ in the New System™.

    When I realized that would never happen, that they were gone forever, it was only natural to start grieving over their loss because I never did it when they died. It felt as though we had been robbed of the experience - it may have seemed to have had good intentions behind it - but when you consider that all it did was give you a delusion reason for working harder for the WTS's goals, so that you'd imagine that you have a chance to see your loved ones again, it made me very angry too.

  • sweetstuff
    sweetstuff

    First impulse, was relief. No more looking toward the sky wondering if today was the day god would kick my butt to the curb. Then the reality of being completely unprepared for living a long life set in. No formal education beyond high school and an esthetics course, no savings, no clue what I wanted to do with my life or what I wanted to be. After all I was never encouraged to even think or dwell on personal goals or desires. But with time, the freedom that personal choice brings made me realize I can achieve whatever I want, perhaps not in the timeline I would like, but I can achieve it. Now I am just happy to be alive,loving life and enjoying everyday that I have versus muddling thru daily based on some hope that soon...my "real" life will start.

    Realizing this is my life, no proof of another exists makes me enjoy it all the more and appreciate that finally I had the ability to live it the way I want, on my terms, right now. Since I left the mentality behind, life has opened up so much more. I'm no longer bound by preset conditions on how to enjoy my life or with whom. Makes me think of a song that always gets me up and dancing along....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g50vzZzAja0

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    For me, this was a real hard reality check. As a witness, my entire life I was convinced that I would see Armageddon, that I wouldn’t grow old and die.

    Yep, reality check in full mode.

    Over thirty years I was in the borg with life on hold......when reality hit, I felt like Rip Van Winkle, from the story of a man who went to sleep for twenty years and when he woke up he didn't recognize anything, and had to come to terms with the fact that life had passed him by for those years.

    Like other posters, I realized that for many years I had "no worries, because the ultimate, death, wouldn't happen to me."

    Well, now my parents ARE dead, and when I "awoke" from my thirty year slumber, I realized that now I am next.........

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    Doesn't leaving-behind-their-belief-system about death "go" with leaving the borg??? Hanging on to jw beliefs could mean one has not really "left" the borg --- they left in body only. Their spirit and soul remain behind in the borg --- stuck --- blocked.

    Leaving/changing beliefs has enabled me to purge the fears that were instilled in me since birth. All the fear and guilt are merely part and parcel of the jw brainwash. Some people seem to need to hang on to antiquated beliefs. Just because it is all we knew --- does not mean it is all there is.

    Me, I like to believe what I see --- more than believe what some elders tell me I "should" believe. Their beliefs are not supported by reality.

    I have had experiences that proved beyond doubt to me --- that the dubs were "off" on the death story, too.

    ESTEE

  • Awakened07
    Awakened07

    I 'discovered' my mortality pretty precisely at the age of 23. I have no idea why. I mean, it sounds ridiculous, 'cause of course I had always known there was a chance I would die. People die. But at 23, I really understood that this actually concerned me, and my life. This was when I was very much still in, so it's a little weird.

    As I started fading from the Lie though, it of course became worse. Now not only did I truly realize I could die, I started to realize that I will not only die, but be gone for all eternity (barring some inexplicable miracle).

    So.... for a period of time, I didn't sleep well. I would lay down at night to sleep, and listen to my heart, and the pounding of it just got louder and louder. And I couldn't help but think that if it stopped right now, that's it. "Hmm... was that a short stabbing pain? Do I feel a small uneasy feeling in my chest?".

    Fortunately it went away. I accepted that I have no choice but to live with death. I'm alive now, that's all I know. My heart is fine. Sure, something can happen, but then I won't be able to control it. It happens if and when it happens.

    I don't fear death as such, other than the possible pain and anguish beforehand, but when it's over it's over. What I don't care for is that I won't be able to know how things went for mankind, get more knowledge about the universe, see how life turns out for loved ones, listen to music and so on. To lose life. Then again, it has to end someday anyway, at least in this physical universe. No such thing as 'forever' in this universe. Eventually it will be unsuitable for life.

    I don't expect a second chance at life, but if that happens it'll be a pleasant surprise.

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    Stop procrastinating

    Say what you mean and mean what you say

    Be excellent to one another or at least, be honest

    Enjoy each moment here and now

    Be grateful for every nanosecond you've had

    Yield to the inevitable

  • feenx
    feenx

    I very much agree with one of Carlos' previous posts on this thread

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