Hello to everyone!

by redredrose 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • redredrose
    redredrose

    Brand new here, haven't even picked out avatar yet. But I feel the need to reach out and touch someone (smile). My situation is a little confusing to me, I am definitely on the way out and have been fading for quite some time, however my decision to leave has just been made very recently.

    Nine years ago is when my story begins. I was diagnosed with cancer and given a 5 percent chance to live,(fortunately as you can see I'm still here.) So for about a year I was undergoing treatment and was very sick, sick enough not to be able to make more than a few meetings. Anyway, at about the same time my poor husband was being mistreated by the elders due to our two sons leaving the truth (they were 17 and 21). He was removed from being a ministerial servant, which he accepted readily, the problem is how it was done, very dishonestly. They were simply making an example of him at a time he was already traumatized with my illness and our younger son's rebelliousness (he was absolutely uncontrollable). He became very angry and stopped attending meetings himself. So after a year, I was better and could go back but he wasn't having any of it, he still believed with all his heart that it was the truth but he felt so betrayed after years of faithful service. At any rate I never got back to active status. So all these years we have been inactive. Mind you our friends, and we have just a handfull, are still active publishers, so we never suffered too much in that way.

    Just recently though, I have started doubting a number of doctrinal changes and have pretty much feel like we've all been deceived. I'm not angry, but I am through with the "Truth". This is huge for me as I am 4th generation Witness and most of my family are Witnesses. My mother has Alzheimers and is not really cognizant, a fact I am very glad for.

    The biggest problem is that my husband still feels like it is the Truth. I had never voiced my doubts to him because I was afraid of how he would feel about it, but a couple of weeks ago we ran into an old friend who also feels very deceived, and I just couldn't help but agree with him. Much to my relief, my wonderful husband did not get upset. He told me that if I need to prove or disprove it to myself to just do it. He actually laughed and said that he never dreamed he would be married to an apostate!

    So now, I'm feeling a little isolated and its been tough to keep my mouth shut both to my husband and my best friend. But I recognize that that is what I should do. This seems to be the most active exJw forum, so I thought I might find some support here. I'd appreciate any replies.

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    Welcome to the board!

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Here's an avatar for you....

    Welcome to JWD!!!! You will find support here.

    He actually laughed and said that he never dreamed he would be married to an apostate!

    You're not an apostate. You are merely searching for the truth... There are many things to find out...

    What do you want to know? I could go on for days... may I suggest you browse jwfacts.com? created by a poster on this site?]

    Take care.

    A@G

  • sparrow
    sparrow

    Welcome and congrats on getting out. You will definitely find plenty of info here to open your mind.

  • Casper
    Casper

    Welcome redredrose...

    Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    Yes, this is a very active site, plenty of experiences to read and learn from.

    Hope you enjoy it here and decide to stay.

    Cas

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Welcome! I was a believing walkaway for 18 years. I read Crisis of Conscience and after that I was just a walkaway. I have enjoyed being shunned and snubbed by many Witnesses since 1992. I can't think of a better bunch to be shunned by.

    ********************

    For conscientious cussedness on the grand scale, no other aggregation of Americans is a match for Jehovah?s Witnesses. Stanley High, The Saturday Evening Post, September 14, 1940 The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

  • Eyes Open
    Eyes Open

    Hello redredrose. :) Good to have you here, and thanks for sharing.

    So... is your husband willing to discuss the bible with you? Anyways, don't push anything and take it easy with him.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Welcome Redredrose, nice to hear your story, and that you are starting to question things. To speed you through the process you should read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz and also www.jwfacts.com has a lot of information presented in simple format to help you identify the real issues.

    The biggest problem will be learning the truth about the religion and keeping quiet about it. You will need to have huge self control as the normal response is to overflow with anger on learning how deceptive the Watchtower has been and the manipulation this has on lives. Vent here rather than to JWs. You will need to carefully strategise on the best approach with your husband to make sure you do not push him away or upset him too much. The last thing you want is someone going to the elders about your doubts.

  • BFD
    BFD

    Welcome redredrose!

    BFD

  • redredrose
    redredrose

    Thank you all for the warm welcome! Thank you A@G for the beautiful pic. Right now, I'm reluctant to initiate conversation on the subject with my husband. We have had a couple of short discussions that consisted of me pointing out things that have bothered me, but my husband so far will only say that they don't make much difference to him. He did also say that I brought out a couple of good points, so I figured he needed to simmer on those for a while. Its been very encouraging to read everyone's experiences and to see the support extended by those on this board.

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