I've now been outed as an APOSTATE by my dad......

by babygirl75 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    My father has already said that he will not know his grandchildren because I'm an apostate. He never talks to me.

    I got a surprise one day when my mom called me saying that she left my dad because he wouldn't let her talk to me. She has now left the organization and we are great friends again. She is even moving closer (to just 20 minutes instead of 2 hours away) in two weeks! Miracles happen. Just pray.

    So many of us know what you are feeling. Time will help and heal a lot of the pain. It never goes away but I only cry a few times a year instead of several times a week now.

    Thinking of you ...
    Renee

  • Wordly Andre
  • Casper
    Casper

    BabyGirl......

    I am so sorry to hear you are going thru such turmoil...

    I don't want him to resent me from keeping him from his grandparents.

    I can understand your feelings on the above....

    (((Hugs)))

    Cas

  • flipper
    flipper

    BABYGIRL- I'm so sorry you are having to go through this @rap ! My wife and my heart go out to you. The reason your parents can't see it is simple - they are totally , " cult mind controlled " to believe anything told them from the Watchtower society. It will take something very negative to happen to them from elders, or rank and file members to perhaps get them to open their eyes in time. Some injustice that personally affects them someday - might just do it. Just keep hoping for that day to come

  • buffalosrfree
    buffalosrfree

    babygirl, i agree with Nathan, why are you letting your children associate with people who will shun their children for a corporations approval? Get your children away from them, they are the apostates, they have left the common sense given them by god and turned it over to a publishing company for crying out loud get your children out of there!!!

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    Tell them that you don't think Jesus would be happy about their shunning and let it go. Time to move on for your own familys sake.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw
    I know a lot of you wonder why I let me son visit them. It's because he adores them both. If I will not allow my child to see them and spend time with them, then I am no better than them. I allow my son to make some of these decisions for himself. I don't want him to resent me from keeping him from his grandparents. My son's father is a JW so he is around the religion a lot. My son has said that he does not want to be a JW. He enjoys holidays & birthdays too much!!! My parents don't talk bad about me to him, all they say is they wished I went to Jah's house (kingdom hall) again

    Babygirl:

    Please if you don't listen to anyone else, please listen to me.

    You can go back and read my past threads, I'm not gonna go there again. But I left the JW's and home at age 18 with a 2 day old infant. For a couple of months I wouldn't even let my parents see my son, then I felt guilty. I felt like you, if I don't let them see him I'm no better than they are. I'm gonna be a bigger person. Anyway they are crazy but they would never harm him.

    Well I started visiting them more often. Then leave him for an hour or so, then half days, until he was spending weekends with them. He was so happy when it was time to go see grandma and grandpa. As he got older "he" (I know he was a kid I should have known better) wanted to go with them to the meetings, this made me feel uncomfortable but I figured I'd watch them closely and if anything looked suspicious (?sp) I'd put stop to it.

    My parents ended up convincing my son that my husband and I were evil, drug addicted, child abusers. We were gonna cause him to die a horrible death at the Big A because we left Jehoober. Eventually I ended up allowing him to go and live with them. My son for the past 12 years has been a screwed up little boy, young man and even into adulthood. He is just now getting to a point where he is no longer trying to kill himself. He attempted suicide 3 times almost succeeded the last time. His self esteem is now getting better, but up until recently I would say it was at 0, ZERO. He has been confused, lied to and emotionally abused. All because I didn't stand up to my parents and take him out of their lives. I lost my son to my parents for some of the best years of his life. I missed his middle school years, prom (he didn't go)high school years, graduation, ect..., and now that he's older he's finally doing ok. He's working, he takes his meds and he seems to be doing well. He lives in the same area as my parents and still see's them alot. But now he's on his own, not going to the meetings and after all his drama is finally seeing the whole picture. What he couldn't see when he was 12, 13, 14, 15.......... he see's now. He's missed a lot also.

    Don't let your child go through this. It is heartwrenching to watch your child suffer mentally and emotionally, being torn between his parents and grandparents. Of course he went to the grandparents, it was easy they gave him everything, told him anything he wanted to hear, no discipline at all and all he had to do was go to the meetings. He didn't even have to respect them it was ok as long as he wasn't with me.

    I often feel that they, my mother mostly did this to get back at me. Who knows, I don't care anymore. It's not worth my time to think about it.

    They will turn your child against you to "save his life". Go get your baby girl.

    nj

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    Nothing has changed from they way it has been, it just feels like fresh wounds everytime!!!!!

    I can actually feel your pain. Mom and I have the same conversation every couple weeks. She also has it with my sisters and brother. She has gotten so worked up, I literally thought she was gonna have a stroke over it. It took her a couple days to just get her blood pressure down.

    It kills me, too. "You (us) did this to yourself", (the getting df'd and shunned).

    No, OUR PARENTS DID THIS TO US. They forced us to be put in the position we thought we had to be baptized. And then shunned, when we made our own decisions, ones that they didn't approve of.

    I've had to learn after thousands of those same conversations, to turn it back on them.

  • llbh
    llbh

    i am so sorry for you Babygirl they really know how to screw up relationships don't they?

    What exnyjw is worth thinking about too

    Regards David

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    It is a bitter pill knowing that the same "Truth" that permeated who we were is still systemic within them. We wonder at how they cannot see it just as we wondered how the worldly people at the door couldn't see the simplicity of the "Truth" when we preached. Either way you have to deal with the results. I know that your love for your parents will win out, at least morally. Keep loving them, they are trapped and at least they sound willing to be grandparents on some level. I suppose you'll have to watch for their sincere, and misguided, indoctrination of your kids... W.Once

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