Does anyone else have a problem with conformity?

by milligal 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • milligal
    milligal

    Recently my husband and I moved south to an area known as the 'bible belt' for his job. We are northerners and from a liberal area. I just cannot seem to tolerate the amount of 'shut-up and put-up' around here. We have put our son into a private pre-school to escape the 'children should be seen and not heard and respect your elders at all costs theories', so reminiscent of our witness days. We are desperate to teach our kids to be leaders, and critical thinkers.

    It's not that we don't believe in respect and hard work and contributing to our community, but we are not conformists. Anyone else feel that way? Troubles from times past as a JW?

  • Carlos_Helms
    Carlos_Helms

    Not really. "When in Rome," ya know?

    What you are describing to me is the foundation for an overall miserable experience while you are there. If you are planning to make it your home, you will need to learn something about local culture and customs and - to some degree anyway - cooperate with the unwritten "code."

    I live in a very beautiful area of the country. If it weren't for -30 degrees in the winter, the place would be overrun. This is, traditionally, one of the more conservative areas of the US. Today, however, it is not uncommon for people to move into the area because of its beauty, wide-open spaces, and relatively safe environment. SOME of those people have taken it upon themselves, then, to change what they previously saw as valuable and pristine into something more convenient and "to their liking." Basically, they want to californicate the place. For instance, WE understand that if you pave the roads (presumably to make them safer), "they" will come. Yes...they come. And they come in droves, thereby creating an UNSAFE environment.

    I don't know what it is about folks who move around a lot, find beautiful places to live - and then pay no attention to what gives the place its beauty in the first place. Another "for instance" is the town in which I live. It is built around the base of a beautiful mountain with the snow-covered Rocky Mountains in the backdrop. In the last ten years, wealthy immigrants have sold their homes in less-desirable places for exorbitant prices and have moved into this area and have built grandiose monuments to themselves up the side of the mountain that gives this town its character! The whole thing baffles me. It is the same folks who show up at school board meetings, city and county commission meetings and generally raise a stink about how inconvenienced they are living in this back-woods, one-horse town. Try being born and raised here and have to deal with artificially hyper-inflated real-estate on $45,000/year.

    If I was you, Milligal, I'd try and be a little more understanding of the local customs and the way people think. There's a reason they're in their comfort zone...and they're not likely to appreciate a Johnny-come-lately coming in to fix what ain't broke.

    Carlos

  • Lady Zombie
    Lady Zombie

    I live smack dab in the middle of the bible belt. I've visited enough places that I can say with conviction that the Midwest/Bible Belt is very conservative and expects conformity.

    Even a lot of "worldly" people here are like this. It is just the nature of the area. When you add in the whole JW Borg thing, the repression is so thick you can cut it with a knife.

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    We are desperate to teach our kids to be leaders, and critical thinkers.

    It's not that we don't believe in respect and hard work and contributing to our community, but we are not conformists. Anyone else feel that way? Troubles from times past as a JW?

    Are you trying to demonstrate a oxymoron, or paradox.

    How can you be a leader without conforming and towing the party line, unless you are raising a Hitler or Castro.

    Maybe you want to raise your kids to be inventors, or artist, or entrepreneurs.

  • OpenFireGlass
    OpenFireGlass

    I used to.... until I moved to Humboldt County 12 years ago... lol

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    I had a problem with conformity when I was a JW. I never fit in, I was seen as rebellious and stiff-necked.

    As for the term "californicate," it kind of pisses me off. The reason California is such a huge state is because people from most of the other states want to live here, so they move here in droves. Then they act like California is the same sort of place as the place they came from. But if I said things like "people from Montana don't know how to drive," you'd have my guts for garters. If you don't stereotype me, I won't stereotype you!

  • Bring_the_Light
    Bring_the_Light

    no. No problem with conformity, just the people that exprct it :)

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I'm a non-conformist. That's probably why I never made "progress" as a JW. If I can't be true to myself then the approval of others is meaningless.

    W

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    Yeah, my non-conformity pretty much cost me my job recently. Luckily I don't need to work so that probably led to my refusal to conform to the dysfunctional management of the county! Free at last! carmel

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    I'm sure the southerners can't seem to "tolerate" you either. One thing I, as a Southerner, can not stand is people moving in and trying to dictate how things should be. If things are not good here, then by all means, stay out. We have no shortage of people moving in.

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