HUBERT- I'm still glad you have your family jewels then still ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Personal Experience I've Never Shared - I Hope it Helps Some Here !
OMG Flipper!!!!!!!! Bullies. Sexual assault. Assholes. At the very least they deserved busted kneecaps to hike out on......alone.
I felt like fighting- but what would that have accomplished in front of the children watching this go down ? That violence is the way to solve problems ? No thanks.
I think when something like that happens to someone, we should not try to second guess how they handled it. We weren't there and weren't in the situation, and our gut instincts usually steer us in the right direction. These guys showed they wanted to dominate you and weren't going to quit. To escalate the situation into serious violence when you are outnumbered 4 to 1 would have been foolish. Your survival instincts told you to do the right thing at the time.
I agree that children are often silently traumatized by witnessing violence. In my own incident I related earlier, truth be told, one of the neighbour hood boys was my brother and his friend. When I went crying to my parents afterwards, my father was so enraged, he grabbed my brother by the throat and held him up against the wall until he was choking and turning blue. I was much more terrified and traumatized by witnessing that than I was over the original incident! I honestly thought my father was going to choke my brother to death. (I was only 7). I regretted ever telling what happened and felt guilty and responsible for what I thought was my brother's imminent demise!
Also, then the whole thing suddenly became about my father's rage and my terror over my brother's physical safety. My own feelings of anger and humiliation at the original incident became subjugated to that and lost in the scuffle and never dealt with. Not that I ever give it much thought today. 9 year old boys will be 9 year old boys. But grown men! Yes, I think as parents and society we should be giving much greater thought and wisdom as to how we are socializing our young boys to treat others. That would be a great place to start to reduce the level of violence in this world.
Anyway, my point is that if you could find another way to handle it without increasing the violence and trauma to yourself and the children, then you handled it in the best way, IMO.
what gets me is that you said no! You were fighting back/resisting and they still went ahead and totally disrespected you. You don't do that to friends. No is NO - it is that simple.
DOGISGOD- I agree they did act like a$$holes- but if I busted their kneecaps , with 4 of them they might have busted mine too ! So because of the children watching- I felt that discretion was the better part of valor.
COGNIZANT DISSIDENT- I agree that the main thing was to protect the view the children would have of the situation, and I didn't want them to be traumatized further- than they already had been ! That is sad that your father reacted the way he did - and I see what you mean- it totally changed the aspect of what went down with you ! It's almost like inadvertently your dad put the attention on himself and his reaction to it all - thus minimizing what had actually happened to you by acting uncontrolled like he did ! Very strange ! I'm glad you are O.K. now though sis ! Thanks for sharing the experience. Take care . Peace and hugs.
LOUBELLE- Yeah, I agree with you- No is fricking no! I mean, if they had stopped when I was yelling at them to stop , I would have been able to keep some respect left for them- however by dissing me, and trying even harder with 4 guys to get me down on the ground - it made me totally disrespect them ! If I ever saw anybody do that to someone today- I would physically intervene and prevent it ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
I think the guys who did this to you have issues about other men (if you know what I mean). Maybe they should come out of the closet....I would never forgive a mean spirited thing like this.
I don't like camping or 'roughing it'. I cringe when I see movies of where somebody goes swimming nude and somebody takes their clothes.. When I was in eighth grade I refused an offer to go on a mixed outing somewhere with classmates who I suspected would do something like this.
Oh Flipper, my heart just goes out to you. I really believe that a lot of the JW men are repressed sexually and because of that act out in homoerotic ways to deny their own homosexual desires. I have to tell you that as soon as each one of them fell asleep they would have got it and I mean good. Mustard would have been the prequel.
You have every right to be mad and horrified, honestly, when someone puts their hands on you and exposes your private area and you feel threatened, could be considered a crime, though I am not sure which one.
I still remember my baby brother acting out at home until we found out that some witness boys had cornered him in the bathroom and forced him to show his penis to them. Everytime I think about it, I would just feel beyond angry - it would take an hour of meditation to get that negative energy out of me.
Thank you for sharing. You are better than those SOBs. So much better of a person.
LONG HAIR GAL- I know what you mean. These guys must have had some issues about their own sexual feelings to do a creepy thing like that. I know what you mean about not wanting " to rough it" - camping and hiking isn't for everyone , that, or taking clothes off going skinny dipping either ! LOL! I haven't ever done that either !
LAYLA 33- I'm so sorry about what happened to your baby brother . That is just sick. I do agree with you that I think men who are insecure about themselves do this kind of $hit too. A secure man doesn't have to show other guys what he has - he'd rather show women, in my opinion ! LOL! Thanks for your kindness sis ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Those guys were sick! I'm glad their wives left them. They must have had some serious problems. I've never heard of this before, but it seems kind of psycho to me. Like a male dominance thing...
I recently found out some guy I grew up with in the Kingdom Hall who is still active evidently was playing master/slave games with some of the younger boys in the hall as a teenager. Like making them wear collars and kiss his feet and do God knows what else. Also, some boy came forward and said years earlier this guy and 2 others had attacked him and anally raped him with a broomstick.
The sickest part? This guy got married last year, and his girl knew all about this stuff. When I run into him around town and he greets me, I don't even look at him. He is like slime to me.
I would be by your side mate...fighting your corner....I hate that pish