What Its Like To Be A Gay Ex JW....

by str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up 119 Replies latest jw experiences

  • aniron

    Welcome str8 (you must have the longest name of anyone on here)

    I'm not going to say anything the rights or wrongs, about being gay etc. Let just say that in my teens been there done that, got the T-shirt.

    But ended up on a different road, married , children etc. Strangely it wasn't becoming a JW that did it either, it sort of just died within me. But it gave me an empathy for those who are gay because of that.

    In the past I have had dealings with and helped local JWs who have wanted to leave, for some reason I attract them.

    I read that you say you were a Min Servant and pioneer, and you were gay from 15 onwards. (Strange when I read or hear of a JW brother being gay they usually have been a pioneer and/or a MS.)

    A couple years ago I had two JW brothers call on me, which took me by surprise. They were in there late 20's, from a local congregation, I knew the families. They were both pioneers, one a MS, (see I told you).

    They came to me for support as they were going to reveal they were gay, and disassociating. They had been "gay lovers" since they were 16/17 their "partnership" as pioneers, had been encouraged by their familes, who knew nothing. Over the years they even got a place to live together, telling everyone that it make it easier for them to pioneer from a single base.

    But now they had decided that they could no longer keep the pretense up, even if it meant losing their families. The reason they came to me was that they needed someone just to talk to about their life and how they have led this double life and the strain it was causing. Anyway they eventually DA'd and moved away, had a letter about a year later saying they were doing ok.

    I'm telling you this so as not tothink you are the only one it has happened to. So many ex-JWs seem to think, whether they are gay or not, thatthey are the only ones its happened to. Then they find a forum like this and discover many other have had the same experience, they are not alone, not without support.

    You come here on this forum anytime you need support , we will not condemn you for who you are. You can shout, rage, rant, cry get it out of your system, or just generally chat.

    !'m glad that you are making something of your life, despite the hurt you feel because of the JWs and the shunning by your family. Nothing upsets them more than seeing someone who left being happy. Stick with it lad.

  • BloominMarvellous

    Congratulations on your fantastically brave post

    I look forward to the book

    Lots of Love Bloomin x

  • str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up
    str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up

    How DID this thread make its way back to see the light of day? :P

    I've been away from this board for a while, I hope everyone is well?

    I actually celebrated my two years out of the organisation last week, and that milestone was a big deal to me, two years!

    I have to say I am MUCH happier out of the Borg, and living life with as much gusto as I can.

    Thanks everyone for their well wishes.

    Much Love


  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Hey SpaghettiRob Happy Second Birthday!

    Good to hear from you!

    B the X

  • JoJoJones

    I am so sorry for all you have been through! I have some family who are Witnesses, also. If I need something they are right there for me, but when it comes to socializing, well, there really isn't any. It's hard I know. If I talk with my sister I get preached at, more like lectured at. It's so hard to talk with a Witness like in a real conversation. It's frustrating. I wish your mom would hug you, too. My sister doesn't hug me, either. She feels like she can't. We didn't grow up in the JW religion, but when she joined she stuck to it like a barnacle! At one time I was very zealous myself, but toward the end I just felt depressed in that 'religion'. Actually, I don't think I ever experienced any real feelings of spirituality in it. I don't think this 'religion' is truly spiritual. About your being gay I just worry about you more than anything. I don't dispute your emotional feelings as a gay person, it's the physical part - - I guess you could say the "biology" of it. So many gay men get AIDS or SIDS. I don't want to see people take that risk. Do you understand what I am trying to say? I am not feeling judgemental. I think homosexual men can feel true love for each other. The real thing. It's the physical aspect I don't actually understand. I want you to be happy in your life. I'm glad you left that cult. Just please, please understand where I am coming from. Hang in there, and take very good care of yourself!

  • Kudra


    So many gay men get AIDS or SIDS.

    Sudden Infant Death Syndrome??

    You mean La SIDA???

  • JoJoJones

    Whoops - - I think I meant to say HIV - - not SIDs. Brother! Sorry about that. Boy, do I feel like an idiot! Blush. Well, I think I better make sure I know what I'm saying from now on!

    Idiotically yours,


  • NewYork44M

    Welcome aboard Spaghetti, and congratulations on your 2 years out.

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    I think that this thread shocked me out of my JW related homophobia. You rock Str8!

  • lameduck

    I think you need to finish your book! I started a book awhile ago. Haven't finished, don't know if I will, but it has been very theraputic. :) I got df'd a little over 5 years ago when I was 19. I have a boyfriend of almost 4 years, it's been amazing. (I'm a guy ) Thanks for sharing your story and good luck in all you do. I am happier now than I ever was as a JW.

    JoJoJones, please do some research on AIDS/HIV. I think you will be very surprised at the statistics involving who is infected with HIV. It effects every demographic. Wrap it before you stick it. That's my MO.

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