This is my wife I am talking about. I'll get that out of the way first.
She was essentially born into the Truth and she is hardcore. She is a zealot. If the WBTS tomorrow said that moon men were coming and that we should build a spaceship to fly to mars, she would be the first person down to Home Depot. That sounds like an attempt at humor, but it is not. It is true.
I have been baptized since I was fifteen but a few years ago I swallowed the red pill.
I desperately want her to take the pill too, but I don't know how she can. She is fiercely obedient to the WTBS. It doesn't matter if they issue commands that don't make any sense.
I can't come right out and express doubt, even if I am just expressing it as a thought process. She'll have me sitting in front of the elders before dinner time. And I know she will do it. I got angry a couple of times many, many years ago when we were first married and I uttered the dreaded F swear word. Guess what? Elders. Little meeting in the back to discuss my "anger problem". There was a time when I stopped having the family study regularly and she threatened to go again. By now, you're asking how I can put up with this? Three kids, that's how.
The "announcement" has caused her to go into frenzy Witness mode even more than she already was. It's making my life more hell than it was before. I could sort of tolerate it for the kids before but now it makes my brain hurt, the nonsense that is coming out of her mouth. One time in the past few months I openly thought differently than the WBTS about a subject and she said "You are bordering on apostasy!"
Yeah, so ... Have any of you been successful in slowly seeding (to use the WBTS terminology) the cultist so that they can begin to see and not be blinded? I read once that someone can just try to just study the Bible in the family study alone, without literature. I can't do that. I tried, she freaked. The best we can do is read it, perhaps assigning different parts or characters to different people. But to try to just read and analyze the Bible alone (with the secret goal of seeing how the Bible is nothing close to what the WBTS teaches)? She balks hard. If there is no literature then there is no study.
One last but ultimately very important note: She is diagnosed bipolar. She's not the most stable person in the world to begin with. If you rip the only thing she's ever known away from her, bad things are sure to happen. She's already emotionally distraught over the end of the book study arrangement. She has been upset since Sunday night when it finally set in that it was gone (or will be in a few months).
I am really not looking at legal divorce at this point. I do actually still love her in spite of the cult we are stuck in. I also would not wish to damage the children. Yes, I know the cult is damaging but I think separation would damage them even further.
