When you look back do you wonder how the hell you believed it all ?
Yes, I do a lot of the time.
I was raised in it, grew up being told I'd never finish school, never go to college, never get married bla bla bla....
It's like being on a very long train journey and then realizing it's your turn to get off and when you do, the train continues on its merry way leaving you looking at it as it disappears far into the distance and you wonder where on earth you are.
I forced myself to believe it. I did believe it against my own wishes. I hated every minute of it, though. Just hated it. It was the one true religion and I didn't want to die. I evaluated my motives over and over again and they came up selfish every time. I wanted others to respect me and I wanted to be popular. I pioneered for popularity and socializing. I never did anything for Jehovah. I tried to but just couldn't get my heart into it. I did view other non-JW's as failing God and I did want to save them, but I did it so I could live forever. It was never for a altruistic reason, ever.
yeah I look back and think, what was I thinking? I mean I was brought up in it - but surely I could have figured it out sooner than I did!
Response #1: All the f*****g time.
Response #2 What Hortensia said.
You were conned into looking outwardly instead of inwardly as to how to lead your life.
It wasn't a selfish act - it was the only way you knew!
How many times did you sit or lie in complete despair and carry on not knowing any alternative?
They had people by the brains and wrapped it up with sexlessness. Humanoidism JW fried!
Of course. My folks were brought into the washtowel society's religion/sales BORGanization when I was aorund 6. So I had six relatively good years out of my 46 years. Most of it was forced on me. I hated going to meetings as a kid and hated having to sit like a statue. If me and my brother laughed or giggled or anything we got the shit beat out of us at home for embarassing them. I hated to go to school and be a good christian and not salute our flag, and then get my ass kicked later for it on the playground. I was told to not fight back since I had to turn the other cheek.
So, when I look back I feel like I was really pushed to believe shit that I didn't believe. I still don't believe it.
I was fed Uncle Freddie's fairy tales since birth so .....
Nah!............ some lessons are only learned and appreciated through experience.
It blows my mind that I believed it and accepted it so willingly. I mean I'm not a stupid woman, I consider myself as an intelligent being and yet.......Everyday that I have out of the organisation is wonderful - such a sense of freedom.
I drive past a kingdom hall in my area and the relief I feel is amazing.
Yes, at this point in life I can't believe what I used to believe. When I stepped out of the Tower's fog and filters the house of cards fell quickly, but I still shake my head when thinking I used to believe their harmful fairy tale.