by cornish 54 Replies latest jw friends
Hmmmmmm......
My family consists of 5 siblings. 2 in and 3 out. On the dub side I know of 4 among the nieces and nephews who are on medication for either depression or the by-polar thing. Nobody on the other side seems to need any meds for that sort of thing.
Could this come from trying to live up to the impossible rules they have to live with?
It can't just be "in ALL of their heads"
Sunny
This thread hit me!! I had CFS about 10 years ago. Mine was caused by the Epstein Barr virus, but not all of CFS is caused by the virus. The question is "why did the virus surface?" My doctor told me to eliminate ALL stress and take it easy for about two years. Well, that was unacceptable. I was a regular pioneer, and a busy elder's wife, with a young son at home.
How do you eliminate ALL stress? So I had to assume that the virus was activated by stress. It is the same virus that causes mononucleosis, which I had had when I was about 16, and a secondary case in 1974. Evidently the virus doesn't leave your body, and something triggers it to be activated again.
Afer about three years, we were on our way out of the Borg, and I was into herbs, so I treated mine herbally, and it was gone in a matter of weeks............so, was it the herbs, or was it losing the stress? Hmmm.
I knew dozens of women with the disease though, and when I had success getting rid of mine, I approached one woman, whose husband also had it. She said "nothing works for me", at which time, I realized she didn't want to get well, and was getting something from her illness..........excuse to NOT do anything.......cook, clean, go to meetings, out in service, etc. I learned when I first started in my business, that there are people who really don't want to get well, because being sick gets a "payoff" that they like. If they were to get well, they would have to give up that "payoff".
My Mom has all those environmental allergies, and can't go to the KH because of the odors, and new carpet and upholstery (9 years?), so she listens to all the meetings on the phone link. But, she can go to a new restaurant, or to the store at the drop of hat. No problem. It's an excuse!!! I know that environmental allergies are very real, but they are a symptom of a suppressed immune system. So build that system up........don't just sit at home, being sick, unless you want to be sick!!!
Enuf said. I am OFF of my soapbox now.
Venice: Read your first post again. You made a hilarious typo!!!
Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
"Those who know, don't say, and those who say, don't know."
Mulan:
I admire your story. Thx for being here and sharing. It was very honest and I think someone will be helped by it.
I was waiting for mom to reply first!
The environmental allergy is the perfect excuse for a witness. It's almost always women who have it though. In the local hall there is an elder's wife who would have to be helped out almost every time she came to the meeting, she rarely went. We all knew she was sensitive to the smells, etc. She stayed home from the meeting one day and someone dropped in on her to find her painting! I just saw her a couple of days ago driving a new car. I've run into her at the mall numerous times. Those are the smelliest things around. Paint, new car, mall smells!
Princess
lisa: do you mean 'hypochondriac?'
from my fairly amateurish perspective, i dont think there's really such a thing as 'just in your head.' i think everyone recognizes the mind-body link mentioned earlier. a more meaningful division of disease is genetic and environmental. the fact the environmental causes here may involve culture and religion more than purely physical factors doesnt make a lick of difference as far as the bodys concerned. i believe ive read that the hormonal reactions in the body can be indistinguishable for emotional and physical stresses.
if you can establish a higher incidence of some ailment in a given sample, you can determine that there is SOME kind of environmental cause in common. i believe thats whats happening here--an harmful religious environment--but that it is also nearly impossible to find truly objective evidence for it.
mox
Mulan, Thank you for your comments. My CF doctor has never told me one way or the other if my developing CF in my late teens was a result of the infectious mononucleosis and anemia I had as a child. I don't think they have a clue as to what causes it and can only treat symptoms as they surface. It was always my understanding that the Epstein-Barr virus will lay dormant and reactivate later. No sh*t!
I made up my mind early on that there was no way I was going to spend the better part of my youth on the sofa. Before we were JW I was at figure skating, gymnastics or soccer practice 5 nights per week. CF was going to have to learn to live with me not me with it. My butt would be dragging sometimes but I always gave it my best shot.
I can count on one hand the number of meetings I missed during a CF episode. I'd just suck it up and go unless of course it was day 1 of a strep infection. I would hear other sisters talking about their CF and how they were unable to cook for their families or do laundry and how none of their meds and vitamins helped them at all. I suggested(big mistake) that they find some physical activity that they enjoy participating in and do it religiously. Whether they're hurting or not do what you can. I offered to meet them at the fitness trail and we could either walk it or jog and do the exercizes at the stations. What a naive dumbass I was at the time. Like you Mulan, I realized then that these ladies didn't want to get well. Unfreakin'believable!
After that it was said that I couldn't have CF and do the things I do. Whatever.
I'm at the tail end of an episode now which seems to hit me a few months out of the year. During these times I've learned how to conserve energy for the important things in life and not to tire myself out to the point of exhaustion. This takes alot of self control. I'm fortunate to have my own business and can limit my hours on the schedule. I really feel for CF sufferers who have to drag themselves out of bed and pull a 9-5. I take NADH(Coenzyme1) daily along with some B12 and Calcium-all over the counter. I'm happy to say this is working for me. I eat no junk food, only home canned fruits, veggies and meat, fish and milk obtained locally. Diet is key.
There are times when the pain can get pretty intense(joints, swollen lymph glands, muscle stiffness)but you just have to roll with it telling yourself that this just can't last much longer.
seven
Seven: You sound just like me. I would cook dinner, often sitting on a stool resting my head on the draining board, because I was so ill. My family needed and depended on me, and I couldn't let them down. The fevers were the hardest for me, because they made me feel so awful........only like 99.8, or 100, but it was still awful and all the time, and sore throats too. Insomnia was really bad, which is odd because I was so tired, you would think I could sleep around the clock, but I couldn't. I rarely missed meetings unless I just couldn't do it, but I tried to do it all, like Super Mom.
One day at lunch, in the backroom of the Hall, I was so ill with a headache, and aching joints, that I had to go home from service, and one of the Bitch Pioneers said "what you need is to go out in service, and serve Jehovah, and that headache will just disappear." I almost told her where she could stuff her bookbag, but instead I said "Elaine, I hope one day you are this sick and someone tells you to just keep going", and I walked out the door, with several other pioneers telling her she was really out of line. That woman is still going strong, pioneering, and alienating people. Why they let her continue is beyond me. My mother even admits that she is a very unloving, difficult woman, and believes she drove me out "of the truth". Oh no........it took much more than that!!
Anyway, Seven, you are on the right track. CoQ10 is great, but try to find a good Blue Green algae product, Spirulina. It is amazing how good you will feel, and so fast too.
Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
"Those who know, don't say, and those who say, don't know."
Haha! what a topic! So true! I have known many with M.E. etc. There is a sub-culture at work I suspect. You get the range of benefits...sickness..6 months later D.L.A....Mobility...Car. It beats working..I guess...and you can pioneer.
ISP
I've had CFS since 1989. It's a real disease. It's devastating. I don't "fake" my illness to get out of any of my responsibilities. But when you're a JW...getting this type of illness is a spiritual death sentence because since you "look so good" sometimes...you MUST feel okay!!
I was constantly encouraged to get to more meetings and out in service more as this would lessen my depression and help me snap out of it.
I had elders quizzing my friends and relatives about my activities apart from meetings/service to make sure I wasn't lying about my condition. After all...if I was seen at the grocery store getting groceries for my family (of course none of my "spiritual brothers or sisters ever offered to help our family out) then I must be feeling good enough for meetings and service!
But the very BEST thing I was told was by our CO. He told me during a shepherding call that my CFS related depression could be due to a guilty conscience about some former sin and proceeded to use the illustration of a girl who had committed fornication and got depressed and medication wouldn't help her...she just needed to confess her sin. She did and whatdoyaknow...she snapped right out of that depression!
And that...was the beginning of the end of my 42 year association with JW's.
AND furthermore...I have not been able to work even part-time for the last 12 years and have received no disability or any other financial aid.
I would gladly trade places with anyone who denies the impact of CFS on a person and their families.
Let's have a little COMPASSION here please.
I know that the congregations that I was associated with growing up, there were/are many who have CFS, Fibro and also many who have MS. Interestingly enough with MS there is no test for it, it is used when nothing else shows up. I know of at least 2 sisters diagnosed with that and at the time they said the prognosis was about 10 years. Well, it has been 20 now and both are still living albeit with many times they cannot go to the hall or go out in service.
