Worst Kingdom Melody lyrics- your votes?

by JimmyPage 74 Replies latest jw friends

  • Fadeout

    Dawg... is it #3, "Gaining Victory over the World"?

    Starts out "As we move ahead triumphant In Jehovah’s strength and might, Many vict’ries he does grant us In the warfare that is right."

    And by the end of the second verse we've progressed to "God Jehovah does the fighting; Fire from him his foes devours."

    My contenders for worst lyrics include those that are morally appalling as well as those that are just terrible artistically.

    Song 8: "Theocratic order they must all obey, And remain united, loyalty display."

    Song 91: "keep in step with present truth" (I refused to sing this line for years)

    Song 15: "Yes, ev’ry day we will say, To God our Maker, “Thanks!”" (Always struck me as funny, I picture a guy glancing up to heaven and giving a thumbs-up before going on his way)

    Song 18: "In God’s favor we do bask." (So much for mock humility)

    Song 38: "To God’s loyal congregation, We too will show loyalty, Give it our steadfast allegiance, Even in adversity. Faithfully we’ll guard its int’rests, Never let them suffer harm; Should we see that they are threatened, We will quickly sound alarm." (Don't forget to spy on each other)

    Song 51: "Your slave, so faithful and discreet, Helps us know what is wise and meet, Feeds us with nourishment when due, Thus strengthens us your will to do." (Bleh)

    Song 95: "To grow in this goodness, just what can we do? Engage in much study, field service, pray’r too."

    Song 145: "O what example Jehovah our King, Has by his long-suff’ring shown! Though he’s endured much reproach, murmuring, He has never weary grown. He was so patient with Israel of old, E’en as with all humankind." (So I guess we're just looking the other way on all the smiting, huh?)

    Most awkward lyric nominees:

    Song 18: "With heartfelt joy much fruitage we now reap." (Say it ten times fast)

    Song 23: "Life’s darksome night, filled with much fright" (Just dumb)

    Song 39: "What tho' the great red dragon, Assails God’s army small" (Huh?)

    Song 59: "There are Satan and his demons, And the snares of fallen flesh, And this world’s materialism; How they would our feet enmesh!" (the music on "Satan and his demons" just does not go along with the subject matter... additional penalty point for using "enmesh")

    Song 61: "But who was the One that overthrew their hosts, That they perished ignominiously?" (I love how the congregation still screws this one up after singing it for their entire lives)

    Song 62: "By using each occasion giv’n To imitate our God in heav’n." (No dumber rhyme has ever been devised... sounds even worse than it looks)

    Song 68: "Robbed he had been on the way." (I swear half these songs were written by Yoda)

    I could go on but I'd have to read the other 2/3rds of the songbook....

  • joelbear69

    I didn't go to many meetings after the Pink songbook era. So I have to dig back.

    The Kiss the Son lyric has made it into Mitch's and my personal pop culture.

    We are always like. Sweep the deck lest god be angry or

    Start the car lest ...
    Prune the trees lest ...

    etc. etc. etc.

    It always makes us laugh.

    One of my friends grandparents were witnesses and he remembered some of the
    songs so I was torturing him with some a couple of weeks ago.

    But as for me
    determined I shall be
    to walk eternally

  • Low-Key Lysmith
    Low-Key Lysmith

    I HATE it when they hyphenate words in an attempt to make them fit the pathetic rythm. Like "giv'n" & "heav'n". Made my flesh crawl when I heard people sing them for some reason. I could never bring myself to actually sing them. Call me Ashley Simpson, 'cuz I lip-synced those muthas.

  • shell69

    what was that song with the word

    'efficasious' (pardon my spelling, could hardly read it much less say / sing it!)

    Wot a load of rubbish!


  • LuckyNun

    "if your body members you control..."

    vomit, hahahaha! that lyric always made me roll my eyes...

  • TruckerGB

    This is the only song in the whole world that contains the word "efficacious":


  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    I seem to remember it had something to do with Lazarus... and Jesus (that may cover about half of 'em).

    It was a dirge... sorta a slow monotonic song... very slow and difficult to sing. I think that they reserved it - and used it mainly during the memorial.

    I don't believe they sung the Lazarus song at Memorial. That honour belonged to .... Gracious Jehovah, deserving of praaaaisseee. To you oh sovereign our voices we raise.

    The Lazarus song was mostly sung at funerals ..... Laaaaa-zarus lay sleeeeee-ping, in his cold stone graaaaave

  • VoidEater

    I'm still trying to recover from beating off molested bees...

    From House to House gets my vote for most vapid music.

    I used to delight in rhyming "loyal love, God is love / all his works his goodness pruv [prove]".

  • LisaRose

    I remember as a teenager we were singing the dirge "Firm and Determined" and a friend of mine whispered in my ear - "Just like we used to sing at the Gestapo!". I was cracking up the whole meeting and trying not to laugh out loud.

  • BabaYaga

    "...his words faithful are, and true"

    Is that awkward, or what? Call it Yoda-speak.

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