There is this xjw I know that I grew up with and we have kept in touch over the years. He was df'd as a teenager, moved away and never looked back. We exchange Christmas cards and pictures of our kids. Email once or twice a year to catch up. Now his family moved away from my ex kh and moved back. I went back home to visit my family. I ran into his parents at Wal-Mart and they asked me if I still kept in touch with "K". I told them yes I did and he was doing very well. I mentioned that his 2 kids keep him and his wife very busy. I swear to god they looked at me as if I told them he had just died or something. They did NOT know he was married much less had children. Can you imagine?? I knew they had no relationship but I did not know they knew nothing of his life. His mom started crying her eyes out right there in Wal-Mart. Her reaction started to upset my baby son so I just walked away. I really did not think something like that was possible. I emailed "K" and told him what happened and he said their reaction was of no consequence to him because as far as he was concerned they died a long time ago. "K" has family he keeps in touch with. You would think they would have told them. I know there is a lot to the story I don't know but damn not to know that you have grandchildren??
Shunning taken to the extreme
It's unfortunate that you had to be the first one that told her it must of been tuff.
His mom started crying her eyes out right there in Wal-Mart
Even despite whatever differences are in his relationship with his parents it would have been decent
to even send a picture of the grandchildren with the wife even if he did not converse.
That is sooooo very sad. Let's hope that was a wake-up call for the parents. Perhaps this will propel them to start questioning this family-destroying organization they're in.
That is so sad, reminds me of something Dr Phil might say to the shunning mother "How's that workin for ya?" Ha, not too well IMHO.
that is sad that the parents would let that happen.
This story annoys me.
1: YOu imply that "K" was mean not to get in touch.
2: This is the sort of misery and upset that witlesses regularly deal out to their DF children.
3: When the boot is on the other shoe you can guarantee that the witlesses will still put the DF one in the wrong for not getting in touch.
There were probably many occasions where the parents were so mean to K he had enough. It is often the case that the parents will put the phone down or say we cant talk(except when it suits the witless for some manipulative purpose). or if they want something off you. (see the many posts of Garybuss)
Anybody who knows of TA will realize the parents must have set themselves up for this, so they could yet again condemn and criticize their evil wicked son. If he said "they died for me a long time ago" that implies they inflicted such great hurt on him he preferred nothing to do with them.
As for sending pictures and letters - there are many on this board who report getting their letters returned UNOPENED. How often did they do this I wonder?
These parents should have their "parent card" revoked. I don't care what the society says, they have taken their words to an extreme.
May they suffer in their self imposed exile, until they make amends, perhaps one day.
I knew they had no relationship but I did not know they knew nothing of his life. His mom started crying her eyes out right there in Wal-Mart. Her reaction started to upset my baby son so I just walked away.
Shunning isn't easy on any one.
I emailed "K" and told him what happened and he said their reaction was of no consequence to him because as far as he was concerned they died a long time ago.
It seems to me that both sides are guilty of it.
I did not mean for it come out like that. I don't blame him or think he is mean for not saying anything. I was just really shocked that no one had told them. I believe that is their fault.....not his.
but damn not to know that you have grandchildren
Sometimes a history needs to be known - the whole story.
My daughters never met my father. He knew they existed because others told him.
Parents have a right - an obligation to protect their children from harmful influences. There was a reason for him to walk away.
When my mother shunned me and my children who had done nothing wrong, I certainly wasn't going to arrange meetings for grandma to visit the kids.
And this particular grandma waited 3 months before coming to see her first great-grandchild and made it clear it was because the people at work were pushing her to do it. It just wouldn't look good to outsiders