Hi Breaking Point. Sorry to hear of your terrors. I do feel for you and think you know that while you are in the right place (JWD) for now, you really do need professional assistance.
You wrote: I live too far away from the clinic for regular sessions as I have no transport.
Ask your therapist if you can do a few phone sessions. This could be a decent compromise and still give you the focused care you need.
I stayed in an unusual relationship for far too long because I was concerned that my leaving would create such load on my emotional abuser that he would end up with a heart attack or stroke. This was unrational thinking because I was actually at a critical breaking point myself.
Did I really think I was stronger than he was? Yes, I did.
Did I help him by staying? I don't know but I think not. I left shortly after having a fairly debilitating nervous breakdown. Two years later I was diagnosis with cancer. If stress causes cancer, this was my stressful cause.
I do know that I was no help to anyone during my emotional and physical illnesses. During my breakdown, the emotional terror continued as he stressed even more because there was noone to help carry the load. He was unprepared to deal with his own crap and now I was just a sorry burden to him on top of the other stuff.
Did he end up having a heart attack or stroke after my leaving? Yes, he did. But he likely would have had that anyway as both parents had significant health issues and father died very young.
A wise friend once told me, You can't give what you don't have. If you let yourself get so torn down, you will be good for noone.
Take care of yourself first. Only then will you have the resources to assist others.
Your husband needs to learn how to take care of himself, too.
Just my opinion and a little personal experience.