Breaking point (page 2)

Quirky1

Journeys Edge,

I feel for you, but suicide is definitely not the correct action. Even tho I too have contemplated it until I realized it as all about who you are as a person. You have to enjoy what you do and "who" your are with or your just beating your head against a brick wall.

Take much time to think things thru before taking action. Try to get some me time in there and find the spot you enjoy and always reflect on it. I know you need to talk to someone in the "real life". And it is not easy. Especially for those who have lost freinds and family due to the WTS.

I lost all my "real" friends and family when I joined the WTS and am trying to regroup them since my decision to leave the WTS.

But, I also agree that you might want tp pursuade your husband to seek some professional help or advice.

It is definitley not easy being in a relationship, even such as this. I am very familiar with the "constant arguing" all too well.

If you feel the need to vent, please do it here.

Quirky1

jamiebowers

I know what you're feeling on many points. First, I was a child of parents who had a bad marriage (both before and after my mom became a jw). Though the break-up of a marriage is very traumatic for children, they are ALWAYS BETTER OFF living in a peaceful household, and they will see that eventually. Second, I was in a marriage with an abusive jw husband who suffered from mental illness. Eventually I came to the conclusion that you CAN'T HELP SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO HELP HIMSELF. Staying with a mentally ill husband who doesn't see the need to get treatment is hurting him, you and your kids. Who knows, maybe he'll shape up after you leave? Or, maybe he'll commit suicide after you go, The point is, only he can determine what will happen to him, not you. Your staying and putting up with his bs may be what he is talkiing about when he says that you're trying to control him. Third, he is manipulating you by accusing of doing the very behavior that he is doing. Fourth, you need to make a plan. Get into counseling, get a job if you don't already have one, seek out services for housing and legal and living assistance from charities and government programs, and LEAVE.

Hope4Others

As a witness I married a “good brother”, an elder, pioneer, spiritual man. The trouble is that behind closed doors he was a different person. Originally he accepted that he has depression but as the years went by he became aggressive and angry. His moods have got darker and he now denies that he has a problem.

Have you discussed this with him that you can no longer live this way and he must seek help? Or your out of there! Don't let anyone make you feel guilty

that's all about control to push it on you.

hope4others

choosing life

It is hard to help a person who is depressed and just won't accept help. Living with someone like that is exhausting. You mention suicide. Certainly any solution is better than that, whether it be leaving or not.

Can you go to counseling? Even if your husband won't go, maybe you can learn how to deal with the situation. Your children are your number one priority. Are they being affected badly?

I have dealt with a person who is angry and depressed, but won't try to get any help. It isn't easy and I feel for you. Sometimes we have to learn how to not enable their behavior. That is where counseling might help. I wish you better days.

real one

I hope that you will not hurt yourself. Realize that this man has a problem and that it is his problem not yours. He needs to get help and if you are not trained to help him then you cant. you must pray to God to keep yourself and your children safe as you go through this misery.

this is a serious situation and you must act on it in a timely manor to get it resolved. if you have to leave then do so. as the others have said there is help for you if you truly seek it. please protect your children

ferret

(((((((((((((((((((Journeys end)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Stay on board you will find friends and support here.

Journeys edge

I appreciate all your advice and support.

When his mood is dark and abusive I think I can leave him. If I am hurt or angry I can be strong. The trouble is that the next day, or day after he looks weak and vulnerable and I tell myself it wasn’t that bad. I tell myself I can cope.

When I try to talk to him he calls me a drama queen, says I blow things out of all proportion, and sometimes totally denies things he has said or done- the scary thing is I believe he genuinely has no memory of it!

I think I have reached the point where I know I want to leave him but don’t know if I am strong enough. I also still doubt it is the right thing to do, that I am being selfish…I don’t know!

ZeroZen

I have suffered from depression since I was 15 Im now 34 it can be a long road. You need to find some help for yourself through a doctor or other professional. A good website to look into is http://www.dbsalliance.org Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance they may have a meeting near you which you can go they have alot of information for you.

Wish you the best Zero Zen

ZeroZen

His moods have got darker and he now denies that he has a problem.

It sounds like your husband suffers from bipolar depression this can cause a personality change. If you live where I do the North East alot of people suffer from SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder he may want to get a sun lamp if his mood is worse in the winter.

ZeroZen

Does he seem to be "high" before he is down unable to sleep and very active?

Breaking point

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