Breaking point

Journeys edge

Hi,

Although this is my first post under the name Journey edge, I have been a member of the board for a few years now. I just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.

I left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.

As a witness I married a “good brother”, an elder, pioneer, spiritual man. The trouble is that behind closed doors he was a different person. Originally he accepted that he has depression but as the years went by he became aggressive and angry. His moods have got darker and he now denies that he has a problem.

After 10 years of marriage I am exhausted with arguing and living with the oppressive atmosphere.

He is no longer a witness and is very bitter about the faith and many other things.

I have no idea what to do, I can’t leave him and I can’t live like this. I have found myself feeling suicidal, just because I need to escape but we have children and I know they need me. I feel like I am going to have a break down but don’t know what to do.

I have no one to talk to in my “real” life. I hope you guys don’t mind me of loading on here, no where else to turn. Sorry to be depressing!

zeroday

I can’t leave him and I can’t live like this. I have found myself feeling suicidal, just because I need to escape

There has to be another way short of that there are many charitys that can help you in the situation you are in...do you have other family members that can take you in while you get back on your feet...often times when people find themselves at the end of their rope they somehow find more rope...I hope the best for you...

Robdar

I have no idea what to do, I can’t leave him and I can’t live like this. I have found myself feeling suicidal, just because I need to escape but we have children and I know they need me. I feel like I am going to have a break down but don’t know what to do.

My dear, if you cannot live the way you are living, then you will have to leave him.

Perhaps you are depressed too? I've noticed it can be contagious. Get yourself some psychiatric care and advice. Then leave him and take the children with you. There are ways to accomplish this. You need to lose your fear and look at things clearly. You also need someone you can talk to. I am sending you a pm with my telephone number. You may use it any time.

I hope you will take that first step to freedom. The first one is the hardest, the rest get easier.

Much love to you.

Robyn

quietlyleaving

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this journey edge. I wish there was something I could do.

Does your family doctor know of your situation? But it sounds like your hubby would not consider accepting diagnosis/treatment for his depression.

I have no one to talk to in my “real” life. I hope you guys don’t mind me of loading on here, no where else to turn. Sorry to be depressing!

feel free to talk to us. You are not depressing at all - sounds like you are trying to help yourself, your children and your husband.

ql

summer

You will find comforting shoulders here*

Having no one to talk to in real life makes one feel very isolated. Do you have a good family doctor? Perhaps it would be a good start. And perhaps he/she could help in giving you some kind of directions.

Wishing you the very best...one day at a time.

Journeys edge

Unfortunately I have noone to turn to and the “rope” has been stretched to threads over the 10 years. I am on my own which is why I thought I’d just express how I’m feeling on here. Sometimes you guys have been the closest thing I have had to family. It helps to just admit to someone-to myself that I’m not coping.

quietlyleaving

It helps to just admit to someone-to myself that I’m not coping.

yes - that is the first step

Elsewhere

The solution is simple: Dump the asshole and follow your own path.

It's time to drop it all and start over with a fresh new life. Hell, you might even want to move to another state.

Journeys edge

The solution is simple: Dump the asshole and follow your own path

Thanks Elsewhere, that made me smile!

The trouble is I still care about his welfare and I am worried how he would cope if I left him. Plus I have nowhere to go and he is not going to leave.

I am also confused because in his mind the problems are my fault, not his. He tells me I am controlling (I don’t know why- I have no desire to control any body) he said he is emotional afraid of me -again I don’t know why.

What if this is all my fault or in my imagination (which he also says)?

What if I break up a family and take the kids from their dad with no good reason?

Robdar

What if I break up a family and take the kids from their dad with no good reason?

No good reason? Have you read your own posts? You are being mentally abused. You are also being manipulated into taking all the blame. Meanwhile, he's allowed to simmer and seethe and you get to walk on eggshells.

I do not mean to be unkind when I tell you that you are not looking at this situation from a healthy perspective. You need professional help.

Breaking point

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