Thinking of becoming a Witness again and my reasons for doing so :(

by reniaa 383 Replies latest jw experiences

  • undercover
    I miss the honest friendships of the truth, I had friends of all ages from 14 to 80 years old and they genuinely cared for me
    Then why aren't they still your friends?

    Excellent point.

    The "friendship" that you thought was real was conditional. It was conditional in that as long as you remained in the faith, they accepted you. When you no longer accept that faith or are kicked out, then they turn their back on you.

    You were kicked aside at the moment that you really needed your support group, family and friends...but they weren't there.

    So you miss the friendships that you thought you had and claim that you've never been able to find them elsewhere. But did you really try? Did you let go of all your prejudices against "worldly" people and other religions? It's hard to grow up in a situation like the Witnesses then find yourself cast aside and left adrift in a world that you were taught to fear and hate.

    You may need counseling or therapy from a professional who can help you to see the manipulations you endured and who can help you to cope with the real world. Many here on this board have sought such help and will encourage anyone else escaping the Watchower organization to do the same.

    But, in the end, it is your decision whether you go back or not. Just make sure, before you commit to going back, that it really is the best thing you can do for yourself.

    Good luck.

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    I got stabbed by a worldly boyfriend, I got married 2 times of my own choosing to men outside the truth, the first smoked and was an alcoholic, the second gambled every penny we had and defrauded me out of money after we separated, 2 divorces later I am currently pregnant and a single mum since current boyfriend decided kids was to much of a responsibility and he needed his freedom and I was 'too selfish to expect him to give up his life'.

    Being a witness doesn't stop someone from making the wrong choices in marriage partners either. Such devastating choices are often the result of deeper, underlying problems. Seeking counselling may not be such a bad idea for you.

  • reniaa

    thankyou Lay for your info on the tax-collector :) I'll look it up

    And your points struck a cord with me Awakenned, I am definately not ready for atheism, I still very much believe in God so probably rushed that bridge to soon :)

    I do agree with many posters that people are the same everywhere in the JW's or outside it, I think I left JW's from my own guilt not because I had any problem with the people.

    Would they DF me now if I go back pregnant, I think you still have to be practising the sin? and I've completely broke up with my BF, In fact I live a very sinless life by JW standards atm, Do you get DF for things you did while 'faded'?

    I have taken on board your replies an appreciate them and yout thoughts, I agree with most i'm not ready emotionally and it's no time to make radical changes in my life atm, although I may goto the memorial just to get the loved-up feeling :) in the short-term of one visit it may be beneficial.

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    sounds like men and not religion is your problem

  • Gopher
    Would they DF me now if I go back pregnant, I think you still have to be practising the sin? and I've completely broke up with my BF, In fact I live a very sinless life by JW standards atm, Do you get DF for things you did while 'faded'?

    I can only answer from my experience several years back. When I was an active JW, I was asked to study with a boy ten years younger than me whose mom was inactive. In so doing I met his mother and encouraged her to come back to the Kingdom Hall. Eventually she did. Shortly thereafter she was read off as disfellowshipped. I'm not sure why, but she had met with the elders in her comeback attempt.

    It may depend on what the elders think of your "repentance". But since the congregation didn't seem to like your family very much, I don't know that they'd look on you very kindly.

    If you tried to go back, you'd be submitting yourselves to the judgment of men, and following the rules of men. Some elders like to have that authority over others. Since you're still a believer, remember Psalms 146:3 -- "Do not put your trust in nobles, nor in the son of earthling man, to whom no salvation belongs." That means not even to trust the leaders of a religious group like the JW's! Have you read their history, to see why they are definitely not trustworthy? I used to trust them, having grown up JW. Once outside I did my research, and that cured me from thinking that the Watchtower was a special organization being used by any god whatsoever.

  • HSS1971

    You know it's funny. I experienced the same things as you - only reversed. All my "friends" in the truth turned out to be over-night back-stabbers with no provocation. I tried to be as nice and friendly as possible and I get treated that way ? Whats even worse is that my wife turned on me. Again with No provocation whatsoever. I have been treated alot better by "worldly" people. A "worldy" friend came over to sit with me when my wife left me and I was so depressed and perplexed. No witnesses even called to see how I was. For a while I could never figure it out. But I later found out that my wife told the elders that I forced her to do oral sex. Which is a complete lie. If she did'nt wanna be my wife anymore, that was fine with me. She did'nt have to go and make a lie about me in order to justify her unhappiness. So you see I've been treated like a piece of crap by witnesses who proffessed to be my "friends". My now ex-wife continued to be in good standing even through all that. My case was decided before I entered the back room and the elders were not hearing my side. To me. JWs are fake, plastic people who are zombie-like in their way of life. They are'nt really alive.

    So when you say you might wanna become one of them again. I feel my heart sink, because it's like you wanna go back to being a zombie again. Not really dead, but not living either.

    Hope you think this through more before you do it. Can you really worship GOD with these people ?

  • oompa

    This was real tough for me to reply to....not sure why. I did want to say that making one or even several bad choices in life is not a good reason to join a particular faith............then I saw this on another post and it fits well here........good luck girl!!!..........oompa

    daniel-pRe: Hitchens with Maher - JWs highest turnover rate.

    Post 1769 of 1772
    since 22-Oct-05

    JWs are simply not a life-time religion; meaning that either your life sucked so bad prior to becoming a JW and now you're just happy to be around, or your life will suck tremendously growing up as one, having nothing to convert from.
  • jwfacts

    I personally do not think JWs are better or worse than anyone else. I had great JW friends, I now have great friends from all walks of life. That you have been attracted to destructive relationships may indicate you need some counselling and assistance in order to be attracted to healthier relationships.

    5/ My recent boyfriend was in a christian religion, I thought why not find out about it, Harvest churches if you ever heard of them, unfortunately it still hasn't stop him leaving me pregnant and alone and when I said to him how does he clear that with God, he replies "As long as I repent it doesn't matter" it's like he has a "get out of jail free card" for any wrong-doing in the bible, this is so alien to me and my witness trained conscience.

    That is an unfounded statement. JW's have exactly the same attitute. As long as a person repents they can be considered acceptable to Jehovah.

    Why go back to a sinking ship? Over a million JWs leave every 10 years, it is the religion with the highest turnover of any religion in the USA now. Look into the doctrines, learn why it is untrue, understand the mind control (quite possibly a reason you are now having such a difficult life - see and then move on. What the Watchtower teaches is not true, the world is not about to end - looking for friends is not a good enough reason to rejoin.

  • OnTheWayOut
    Would they DF me now if I go back pregnant, I think you still have to be practising the sin? and I've completely broke up with my BF, In fact I live a very sinless life by JW standards atm, Do you get DF for things you did while 'faded'?

    In most cases of WT-defined sin (like sex outside of marriage), it is the frequency of the
    sin that gets you DF'ed. You may act repentant now, but they have to view that you were
    unrepentant for years. That usually leads to a DF. That way, you can show that you are
    repentant by attending all the meetings and jumping through hoops to get reinstated in a
    few months. Coming back pregnant, THEY CANNOT OVERLOOK YOUR PAST and
    say you are NOW repentant.

    This is a virtual DF for your. I have little doubt that you will hate the shunning and be
    sorry that you went back.

    I left because of my failed first marriage

    Why did a failed marriage cause you to leave? Was he a JW? Didn't you find any comfort
    from the "friends" and "elders" over a failed marriage?

    1. People can be cruel, tough. Wait til you hear what JW's will whisper behind your back.
    People are the same- in or out. Some are good, some are bad. Try to find a counselor and
    see if you can get into a group therapy and seek friends there, also try to see if
    there are groups with similar experiences. If you love books, join a book club. Try volunteer
    work to help others, maybe you will enjoy that so much that you make friends with others that
    enjoy volunteer work. There are lots of people that are good, but friends are hard to make.

    I joined an ex-JW meetup group and made a great new friend, but he moved away. I have other
    great friends among ex-JW's and will develop the friendships over time.

    2. You made a bad marriage choice. Was the first one while you were a JW? Why did you
    make bad marriage choices- because you didn't marry a JW? A counselor can help you see
    why you make bad choices.

    3. From bad marriage choices, often come bad in-laws.

    4. As mentioned, friendships with JW's are VERY CONDITIONAL on your obedience and
    standing in the congregation. Even after your reinstatement, you will be considered by many to
    be "weak" or "bad association."

    5. The Christian boyfriend needs to be lumped in with the bad husband choices. Ask the counselor.

    6. Not everybody can fit a group because it has similar views to your own. Try different groups.

    a sense of community again that I haven't seen in any other christian faith

    While I don't advocate continual search through Chistian groups, you make a statement that seems to
    indicate that you tried them all. I bet you didn't. What about non-Christians? You looked at atheism
    then go to Christianity. Are Muslims and Hindus wrong about God? There are great Hindus out there.
    What about Secular Humanists? How long did you check out each group? Did you give it longer than
    it would take to get reinstated in the JW's.

    There are tons of answers out there. Perhaps you are depressed and need medicine. Have you
    checked on that? Keep seeking answers, don't give up. Don't go back something that wasn't a solution
    such as the JW's.

  • doofdaddy

    Here's my two cents worth....

    If you really believe it was a better life, go back as life is too short to be so unhappy. It appears that you have an issue with boundaries as you talk about the religion's strictness.

    That is the big issue on moving forward from the jw's, making our own personal boundaries. That is when we become responsible for our decisions in life and ultimately receive personal freedom and contentment.

    Good luck!

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