When I look back, I think of some things that really angered me about the Organization. I was raised as a Witness and I was taught from a very early age that "reaching out" was the most important things I could do in life. I was to reach out for "privileges" and get baptized. I was 9 when I took the plunge to become a "minister".
After that I was the 'time keeper" for the Ministry School. And then I was "used" in the magazine and literature departments. Then I audited the books for the Presiding Overseer. In all my growing up years, I was groomed to be a MS and then an elder.
When I finally became an elder, I was taught by the Organization and its reps that we must weed out "apostates" who might be in our midst. We were trained to look for signs of apostasy and root out anyone that might question the Organization and the mysterious Faithful & Discreet Slave. After working my way up to Presiding Overseer and then eventually going to a different Hall, I started to see that the Organization and its rules were wrong. They tried to keep people in bondage by making them feel guilty for missing a meeting or not going out in service on a Saturday morning. We were always counseling people, bringing them into the "backroom". We were made to feel special because we were appointed by Jehovah and Christ. HA!
I get angry when I think of how dominating we were in other people's lives. We MADE people account to us and if they bristled at answering our questions, we used our authority to make them understand that if they didn't cooperate, we could easily disfellowship them for causing divisions or even loose conduct for flouting the authority of Jehovah God's elders.
When I look back at how were trained to manipulate and actually damage persons, I feel ashamed and angry that I ever aspired to be in the leadership of this Organization!