by reekster 44 Replies latest jw friends
Am I the only one who thinks this is more about her than about the dubs? The circumstances you describe amounts to a pretty flimsy, but highly original, excuse for breaking off a 10-year relationship.
I was wondering if she wanted marriage rather than a lengthy engagement, and is considering finding someone else. If you wait for the right circumstances to get married it'll never happen. W
This sucks for you, dude. My husband has been trucking with the dubs, too and it's horrid. I've tried many different tacks with him, but haven't been able to convince him to cut ties with them. If you think you have a real chance at saving her, go for it, but be prepared for heartache and disappointment. Unfortunately I think Steve2 has a great point- at least this happened before you two were married. With her in the dubs and you out it could equal a life of hellish torment trying to save her- believe me, I know. If her folks are dubs she's probably not going to back out of the cult, and probably it was their influence that sent her into the organization when she move back in with them. Pray for yourself and her, and continue to study.
Hi Reekster, welcome to the group.
I am so sorry to hear you are going thru this. I can tell you that you are not alone. I have seen this many times and I feel that it may be a form of manipulation to get you to study with the jw's too. I know my sissy used it to bring in several young guys. The idea behind it was she would want to date a guy, but my folks would not allow her to date any non jw's. So she would tell them to see her they had to begin a study. I hope that she can be reasoned with but she is in the love bombing stage right now and will be totally wrapped up in their love. She will be told that leaving you is God's will and she will be rewarded with a more spiritual person for a marriage mate. We are here to support you and her if she wants to ask questions she should feel free. Please be careful......
aww reekster, that REEKS.
so sorry
Do what everybody else does in a situation like this and fake a conversion. In a few years, show her your concerns and tell her why you feel the way you do. She'll listen to you more since you're the "Head of the household" (TM) rather than you just being a fiancee.
You don't have to do a frontal attack on her, just an infiltration.
Sorry dude, your relationship is over, She is in deep. You are now part of Satans tools to disrupt her progress or so she has been told. Probably from some sisters who never had anybody or an elder who has the hots for her. Want to have some fun and possibly hold on to her ? Ask if you can learn about what she has learned, See how she reacts.
Either she will say OK and she really loves you or she will act like "What a great idea" with one of those fake smiles (means she wants to move on.) and will not incourage.
Trust me, I was in her shoes.
PS. run if she says OK. it really is over though ,move on.
reekster,
I feel for you! I just had a 4 1/2 year relationship end abruptly, with communication being completely cut off. It is hard to go through, but just move on one day at a time. You will get through this, I promise.
JK
reekster:
What's really shocking to me is that she hasn't even read the Bible, yet she's committed enough to the beliefs and advice of the JWs to go against her love for me.
One of the last things she said was "I feel like I will always love you". I am totally heart broken and depressed by it all.
Does anyone have any advice? Is this standard procedure for people preparing to get baptised and become a JW?
Not read the bible...scary...what an influence they have..she should see that. If you are really heart broken, then I have to give you some painful advise..show intrest in JW....long term it may be the only way you will free her...geeze you have 10 years in this relaionship...Now, why the fluck has she not tried to get you in this paradise place? Seems that would have been #1 on her list if she felt the same about you BTW. Hate to go there but it kind of popped out at me.......this is not STANDARD PROCEDURE either................oompa
Oompa is right, SOP would be to try to make you guys get married. Could she have met someone she is interested in that is a JW?
JK
