by reekster 44 Replies latest jw friends
Welcome reekster. I find it strange that they just didn't encourage you to marry. In the times I've seen living together has really been a non issue unless you refuse to marry.
But, as llbh said, her love for her religion is now more important than her love for you. It always will be, even if you were to marry.
Sorry.
momzcrazy
Get her on JWD. She isn't baptised yet - put the idea in her head that she has to investigate this from every angle, so why not do that without the smothering influence of the drones.
Hi reekster - that is sad news my friend. Please contact your Fiance' somehow and implore her to really make sure that this is the ""so called truth"" because it isn't. I don't know if you know much about the JW past failed predictions, the fact that they called themself the mouth piece of Jehovah, the fact that they lied about belonging to the United Nations.....so so so much.
She is thinking of 2 scriptures probably - can't think where they are but they speak about 1. A dog going back to it's vomit and 2. not to associate with unbelievers.
you need to get all the information on the jw that you can find and see if she will study the Bible with you and another witness.each time you study know what the subject will be before hand and thouroughly research it with the Bible, but not the new world translation Bible, that is the jw Bible it is doctored to fit their beliefs. this may take some time but dont let her go too long in that cult. if you really love her you will try to save her from the mind controlling cult.also get some advice from someone that knows about cults and how they work
God Bless You!
Welcome reekster. I am so sorry she has been netted.. She is caught I am afraid. As for going to the Hall with her? EEK! You may be caught also.It is a VERY DECIEVING CULT!
I was there 25 years ,I cornered 10 people to get entrapped also.. I can HONESTLY say ,I gave my mind over to the Devil. She also. is entrapped. It looks good, it smells good, sounds good. She now wants to be MORAL
They have convinced her that you & her are immoral. So she is now going to straighten out her life (IN THEIR OPINION) BUT!!!!
She is on a real treadmill, slavery to a bunch of old men in Brooklyn. I am so sorry for you. I think you had better start praying for her myself.
I've only seen "live ins" accepted and told to marry when there are children involved, without the study is usually encouraged to start fresh and not to risk being "unevenly yoked" if they are receptive to that idea at all.
I'd begin a crash course and learning everything that is wrong in the religion and ask her "before you leave me, shouldn't I have a chance to study with you and see if this is something we can do together?" And then work to enlighten her.
That would require you being really aware and not getting caught up in the religion yourself though. Trust us that it isn't worth it.
Buy "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz... read it, then read it again underlining the absolute dumb crap the WT organization has done, then tell her you want to study, and bring your underlined copy of that book along and show her the WT lies. Contact someone from this web site that lives nearby, who doesn't know anyone from her hall. Let him/her help you. Good luck!
All of you guys are wonderful, I am flailling internally with no one to really talk to and you guys know what's up. One thing you all need to know is that she is now living in another state. We've had to have a long distance relationship (a really good long distance relationship) for the past year. Here are my replies:
justhuman
"SHE IS IN A GREAT DANGER...and YOU are the ONLY one to get her out of there before is too late."
"Try to act quickly..before she will be brain washed completely and then there is no hope."
I know that she is in great danger! I do believe that I am the ONLY one that can help her because I believe there is a small opening because she can't deny to her self that she loves me. I am so afraid for her. My soul weeps for her, but I am also afraid that, id I'm not careful, I will destroy my opportunity. I do believe God has put me in this unique position, so pray for me.
Part of the timing/windows to operate in if I'm to act quickly: 1) the Memorial will be held on March 22, so I need to understand and be sensitive to this fact in some way and 2) I know that she plans to get baptised in June.
momzcrazy
"In the times I've seen living together has really been a non issue unless you refuse to marry."
I've heard this too from a JW that cuts my hair. It may be that she has told them that I know quite a bit about the Bible and therefore I am dangerous to her faith. I did question her belief in some things and we argued some. I was stupid when I look back on it. I should have kept my mouth shut and used the "Strategic Interaction Approach" where you only deal with love and acceptance and encouraged her to by suggestion to ask the right questions and think for herself. I love her so much. In my concern and zeal I believe I gave her information that got back to the JWs and the information has been used against me/us.
LouBelle
"She is thinking of 2 scriptures probably - can't think where they are but they speak about 1. A dog going back to it's vomit and 2. not to associate with unbelievers."
I think that LouBelle is on to something. EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!! This is the kind of stuff I need! Please help me to have the knowledge and insight into exactly what they most likely using to persuade her right now. The scriptures they may be using and the logic they may be employing woudl give me a strategic edge to approach her in a wise and measured way.
real one
"you need to get all the information on the jw that you can find and see if she will study the Bible with you and another witness"
I have for the past three months gathered together the WT CD for 1950-2001, the New World Translation, the Finished Mystery Volume 7, misc. WT tracts, the "Pay Attention to Yourselves" book for elders, the "Organized to DO His Will" book that is only given out to converts AFTER they are baptised and tons of other material. I've also read Raymond Franz's "Crisis of Conscience".
As I said at the top of these replies, she is in another state. I would do exactly what you say, study with her and another witness if I could.
It is only a two-hour flight to get there. Over the past year, I've flown her up every month or month and a half. If and when I go to see her, (she of course won't come to see me) it's critical that I don't blunder my way through the visit.
In fact, I'm not sure what I should do about the visit. 1) I could suprise her at work and ask her to go out to lunch to begin things. She would (because she is so intensely in love with me) likely go with me. But this could also kill things because lunch is a short time and she may have time to think after lunch and revert back to her "training" and not want to see me later on to talk further. 2) I could surprise her by showing up on her parents doorstep (she had to move in with her parents after she moved out of state with her daughter...Yes, I helped her raise her daughter during the ten years we lived together). Her parents are also JWs, but they have been pretty bland JWs for as long as I've known them. I've had a good relationship with them. Showing up on the doorstep could go in any direction, but it would show my continued forthrightness with her family and my willingness to put myself on the line for her. They could just as well be very happy to see me and be very wellcoming as they always have been or they could assume a new protective mode that I've never seen before. The upside of going to the doorstep is that her family will be there and if we talked they would be around and she wouldn't feel that she was in danger as opposed to being alone with me.
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My love and thanks goes out to all of you. I am so blessed to have you there for me. It's hard to fight 6 million people and a 1 billion dollar publishing company. When I said I couldn't understand now things could turn out as they have, it wasn't because I was uninformed about the organization, it was because I couldn't believe that this could happen to "US". I cannot convey how much we love one another. After all those years and even with the latest distance, our love has remained fresh as if we had just met each other and had just begun dating. It really has been unreal.
I think the Watchtower Society takes pleasure in how many relationships they can bust up. They bust up many families in similar fashion. They stopped me from getting with any of the sisters. And now they wonder why I am doing all I can to ruin them.
Sorry about your situation. I read one of Steve Hassan's books and highly recommend it. The book titled Releasing The Bonds was written for those who have loved ones in a high control group. It's very helpful.
