Maxwell said: " Real love is much more rational, and permanent. You might start out "in love", but after a while you see the faults, then each person does that something pisses the other off really bad, and they decide that they still love each other."
Burn said: " "Real" love is not like that, and it is not easy either-even though it usually starts with the "falling in love" stage. But over time, it grows, and becomes something much greater than the emotional mania of "falling in love". Any crumb bum can fall in love. The other love, like all good things, requires a certain kind of commitment."
FHN said: "Define love. Love isn't infatuation or lust, though it can include those things. Real love is sharing and sacrifice. Real loves grows and transforms over years and decades. It's not static. And the initial magic can change into a bigger, richer, more complex magic. When I had real love, it did not ever die.
Sparkplug said: I think there are people I will always love. But being IN love. Well that is different. I truly believe that. I have friends I love. I really wish them well. But I am not in love even on a friendship level to where I will do anything for them as I would when I am IN love. I believe you can fall in love with your friends...even of the same sex. That is what makes the love so strong. It is just maybe you don't need sex from them. If sex is not love...than I love many........"
Lesterd said: "The honeymoon started July 2, 1966 and ended March 27, 2000 when she died of cancer. It was a high that has never been match and I'm still in love with her"
Maxwell you made me laugh with your "then someone pisses the other off and then they decide to stay." In the vernacular, that just about sums it up For the first couple of years, nothing the other person does can take away that passionate glow of love. The power of attraction, be it physical, emotional or spiritual is so strong that no one can tell you anything negative about your lover. No one can "reason" with you that this person is not the right one for you. Then reality sets in! If you are not truly committed, truly love that person, the marriage can fail. We have a daughter (came to us at 14) who has been married 5 times. She tells me that she "loses that feeling of being in love" and then she goes looking for it in someone else. She believes that marriage is the right thing to do, hence her five marriages.
I have heard people says "they fall in love". I do not think that is true. I think people fall "in lust" and mistake that physical attraction for love. I believe in todays world through television, movies, the media that sex has been mistaken for love, hence the expression "make love = sex." Almost every movie, there is someone jumping into bed with someone else, it is almost as casual as "would you like a cup of coffee". I think this portrayal of "love" is very dangerous for young people, because I believe that the sex act binds you to a person on an emotional level to some degree and when you have multiple sex partners you fraction your being.
Burn said it well. Love requires a committment through all the hard times. There are times when your mate may be so exasperating that you feel like killing them, but if you are committed to the relationship, you get through it. Love conquers all things.
FHN said that love is infatuation and lust. Yes it is, at first. If you really love someone, at first all the wonderful feelings of love, sex, passion are the whole reason for being. You don't even have to think about anything else. The relationship carries you through. But when the feelings wear off, (and they will to some extent more or less over the years) then you are left with the more important things like committment, caring for the other's needs and accepting them for who they are. Love becomes deeper and more meaningful when you encounter hardships and get through it together.
I agree with Sparkplug, I think you can truly love many people, deeply love them without sex. Over the years of my life, I have had a few of these deep, loving relationships. They are powerful and enduring.
Lesterd: I am so sorry that you lost your love at such an early age. I can't even imagine your pain. Please accept my love and condolences.
By coincidence, today is my husband Joe's and my 59th anniversary. When we got married it was the passionate, soul-mate relationship that you think will never leave, but it does. If you don't have a deep loving committment in place at that point, if each person does not nurture the relationship, it will fail. Over the years, as some of you know, the sex becomes a little less and finally (in some cases) is gone entirely. Joe is almost 81 and has diabetes, but we love each other more than we did at the beginning of our marriage. One day, one of us will go on to be with our Lord (or as some believe on this board to non-existence) however our lives have been full. I will not regret whatever happens because I have loved and been loved largely.
Love and hugs,
Gramma Velta