The elders want a JW to be my Mother in law's POA instead of her own son

by Younglove1999 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Younglove1999
    Younglove1999

    It's been a while since I posted here- I frequently lurk, but have been busy with work, life, and not letting the fact that I was a JW for so long linger over my life and become overcome with "what if's?"

    Yesterday we got a phone call from my mother in law who is a JW. She was distraught because she still has my husband (her son) who is no longer a JW as her medical and legal POA. This is all between her and attornies, not the actualy "WT proxy form". She prefers it that way. He's her only child- her only family. He would respect and honor whatever her wishes are merely because they're HER wishes.

    She finally got around to getting the WT's version of the proxy form filled out and she put her son as the decision maker should she not be able to. The elders refused to sign it! They told her she has to have a JW as her POA, not her son who is no longer a JW. It disgusts me that they think she should just relinquish her rights to some moron in the hall she doesn't know well rather than keep it with her family who she still loves.

    Thankfully my mother in law called my husband first to find out if they can truly "do" this. She was panicking over the thought of someone she didn't know making decisions about her life. He told her not to worry- he said that the form needed to be signed by a witness, which could be ANYONE and not necessarily a Jehovah's Witness.

    She was so relieved that legally she could keep his name on her POA form. I just can't believe the elders pulled that crap on this elderly woman!

    Then she asked if my husband was ever going to come back to the "truth" and he said probably not. She responded, "that's ok". and thanked him for his help.

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    OOOHHH Don't let her do it!!! I put nothing past them. Sneaky SOB's ought to be ashamed. I'm glad she checked before she blindly agreed. A talk with her attorney and maybe a letter from them would shut the elders up. Is she wealthy? If so, that would explain alot.

    momz

  • Younglove1999
    Younglove1999

    I'm so glad she checked with us first and is going to get it backed by her attorney.

    Right now half of her property is going to the WT society if she passes away. However, she emphasized to my husband last night that when he talks to her attorney, she wants them to set up a time for her to change that as well. She wants the money to go to our daughter now.

    Her and i usually don't get along, but for the first time in a very long time, I like her

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Don't panic, but don't put off the change in the will.

    Also, tell her not to bother discussing her wishes with the elders since they refused
    to cooperate with her wishes. It's her money. It's her medical decisions. It's her life.
    She can totally leave the WTS and the congregation out of all of it. It's not a requirement
    that POA or medical directives be filled out.

    Good job interacting with her.

  • Dorktacular
    Dorktacular

    You know what? If she already has one through her lawyer, the little form that the Hall wants her to sign really doesn't matter.

    Let me say this: It's good that even though your mother in law and your husband have differing opinions on religion that they both still recognize that they can love one another and respect each other's wishes. I'm in a similar situation with my father. Yes, he hounds me once in a while to come back to "the truth" and whenever he visits our house we have to rent a dumpster to dispose of all the Watchtower literature he leaves hidden everywhere, but I still have a respect for his right to believe what he believes and he doesn't "shun" me like he probably is required to do by the borg. If worse came to worse with my dad, I would still respect his wishes when it came to medical care, funeral arrangements, etc., even if he wasn't a witness. In fact, I have urged him to contact a lawyer to prepare a medical directive for him because the borg ain't gonna do what he wants done. The only thing they care about is if you take any blood. It's a good idea to have a living will, no matter what religion you are. Just ask Terri Schiavo's husband!

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Her and i usually don't get along, but for the first time in a very long time, I like her

    Ha! Nothing like the WTS being its own worst enemy. They want to have a say over EVERY ASPECT of your life.Maybe this will open her eyes somewhat.

    Of course, if she had no money, they would probably say her son MUST take care of her, it is not the responsibility of the WTS.

  • Younglove1999
    Younglove1999

    Good point about the elders not respecting her wishes- I might mention that to her if things escalate. She's deaf so I am concerned that they may try to twist things around during interpretation and may leave her feeling nervous about relying on her own family for her care. Off the bat they're not respecting her wishes to let her son be her POA, so how can she rely on them to respect her wishes when she's unconscious?

    It just saddens me that they would stoop to this level and cause this kind of drama. So ridiculous.

  • changeling
    changeling

    How completely wrong (even by JW stadards) and disgusting is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm so glad your MIL has a brain and still thinks for herself.

    This is one of the worst abuses of powere I've heard of yet!

    The choice of POA is a personal one!

    changeling

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Some of us have a collection of news stories relating to all things JW. Would it be helpful if we provided you with true stories from "The Acts of The Elders" about elders involved in theft and embezzlement?

    Just say the word...

  • Younglove1999
    Younglove1999

    Of course, if she had no money, they would probably say her son MUST take care of her, it is not the responsibility of the WTS.

    SO TRUE-

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