Sound familiar?
This question was recently asked for the children in my congregation to answer. I was kind of amused and disturbed at the same time by their responses.
One kid said "Samson"!
Here's a short bio on Samson: Once upon a time, there was a kid named Samson. For unknown reasons, Yahweh decided to give Samson a wonderful gift. He gave him the gift of superhuman strength. Samson used this gift for various things like killing a lion and eating juices from its guts (Judges 14:8-9), commiting elaborate and overly complicated acts of terrorism (Judges 15:4-5 and 15:15-16), and making bets he can't keep(gambling?) and then killing 30 innocent men to pay up (Judges 14:12-13, 19).
But like all mythical creatures, Samson had a weakness that was totally unrelated to his strength. (Werewolves are alergic to silver, Vampires can't cross running water, Samson can't shave. That's just how the world works.)
Samson wasn't a particularly bright fellow, so he entrusted his girlfriend with this secret, which wouldn't be too suprising, except for the fact that she already betrayed his trust THREE TIMES IN A ROW! (Judges 16:6-17)
So he killed thousands of people including his ex-wife, ticked off the government, got captured because of his own stupidity, and then for his final act, he killed himself and a bunch of other people by collapsing a building on them ala September 11. (Judges 16:29-30)
So that kid MOST looked forward to being buddies with Samson. Ain't that cute?
Another kid said: "David"!
Now David was a FINE upstanding Bible hero! His biggest claim to fame, was the murder of another human being with a slingshot! He stood at a safe distance, hurled insults, and then rocks. It must require an amazing amount of courage to take out a knife wielding opponent with a distance weapon.
Well, Yahweh's followers decided that 'Hey, if this guy can kill people, then he must be fit to rule a nation, right?' So, a couple hundred foreskins later, David became KING.
Aside from killing more people, David didn't really DO much as king to warrant praise. He made a few minor mistakes, like stealing some guys wife and then having him killed, or getting 70,000 of his people killed in a plague.
Ahh, Samson and David. Two upstanding Bible heroes. Two great rolemodels for the children.
Another kid said: "Abel"!
I don't know much about Abel at ALL, the only thing I know about him, is that he was the first guy to initiate the practice of animal sacrifice. Thus starting the long and noble tradition of spilling blood in the name of Yahweh. He was eventually killed by his brother because Yahweh made the common parental mistake of showing favouritism.
But the only thing you can actually imitate about Abel, is killing animals... I'm not against killing animals, but it's not exactly something I would ADMIRE about a person.
After thinking about it, I realized that there are very FEW Biblical characters that I would feel comfortable allowing anywhere NEAR children. Are these the kind of people they should be looking up too? That can't be healthy!
If your child looks at SAMSON as a hero, the imbecilic thug who killed himself to knock a building down on people, how can you tell that same child that the terrorists are evil?
Lore - What.Would.Satan.Do?