by Wordly Andre 40 Replies latest jw friends
That reminds me of another..
A teacher brough a psychic into the class (could have been college). The psychic was unable to "read" anything. He then asked if there were any JW's in the class. One student put up their hand. The psychic asked him/her to leave as his powers did not work around JW's.
This is one where the hounder-hounder told about missionaries. They were feeling sick from not having enough to eat. So, they went out in field circus all morning. On the last call of the day, the householder threw a cabbage at them. They ranted about how Jehovah provided that cabbage.
What they don't tell is that the reason they were so hungry was because they were wasting so much time in field circus. Had they not been doing that, they could have grown their own cabbages and much more. Or, they could have hunted or farmed animals (or both). Or, they could have gotten a real job that would have allowed them to create some value in the local economy. Either way, there is a much better chance that they would have had more to eat than that damn cabbage.
Another thing they left out is that cabbage is an extremely poor source of energy and protein. Anyone who has ever been on the cabbage diet can attest to that (it is, however, extremely effective if anyone is trying to lose weight but you will probably gain the weight back once you go back to normal). For someone who is feeling sick because of not enough energy intake, cabbage is a very poor solution. Just about any vegetable (with the possible exception of celery) is better. Cabbage is 99% water and fiber (good for dieters; not good for subsistence). Thus, the guy was not as well fed by Jehovah as the hounder-hounder wanted people to believe.
I wonder what Satan would have fed this guy. More likely, Satan's table was full of all sorts of high-quality foods such as meats, fish, and a wider variety of premium fruits and vegetables. Which would have also provided more of the B vitamins (cabbage is a good source of vitamin C), carotenes, and minerals like potassium, iron, zinc, and magnesium. And more calories (a whole cabbage probably has less than 500 calories--maybe, depending on the size, less than 100). This would have provided more calories to get off on better footing the next day--I bet the guy was just as weak the next day. Those guys need between 3000 and 6000 calories a day, depending on how much long-distance walking they do through crocodile waters and dense jungle or very hilly terrain. (No, they don't have cars, so 2000 calories isn't sufficient for people working such difficult territory as it is here in the USA).
CD:
OK, so he is arrested for attacking many women in the park. Why would the police ask him about a woman he didn't attack?
Yes, the same question also came to my mind.
I don't know if I got the "correct" story. Maybe it was not the police who asked. And if so, how did they know who that woman was? And how did she know that it was her he was talking about (unless he knew her by name), she was walking alone and did apparently not see the men beside her. And how did the story then get out?
OK, so maybe he volunteered the story to the police of the woman he didn't attack.
There's no point in that either. Why would he tell about not attacking a woman who was not walking alone? Is it so uncommon for a woman to walk alongside two men? Or maybe he could "see" that they were not really men? Maybe, by seeing this woman and her men, he saw the "Tooth" emediately and went to the police straight away and turned himself in?
No, I don't know. It's strange.
kifoy
a ring that was possed by demons and start to shout to the JW guy
I remember one story I heard. Don't know where it was from, or when, but it was something like this:
A rapist was loose in the town/city, and especially one park or forest area was his favourite crime scene. A pioneer sister was on her way home (or to) FS or a bible study one dark evening. And she had to go through that specific park. She prayed to Jah, and went on. In the middle of the park, she met this dangerous man, but he did not attack her. Later, after he was arrested, he was asked why he did not attack this woman (I always wondered how anyone could know what he did not do...?).
The rapist answered: But she was not alone, she was walking along with two men on her side.
I've heard that same story told about a woman who had been "born again" (ie more conventional fundamentalism).
Aside from the problems mentioned above, I was always troubled by the idea of God selectively protecting certain women from rape just because they thought to say a prayer. And why don't these women pray for anybody's safety but their own? I have the same problem with all those "I prayed and God kept me from dying in that [insert catastrophe] that killed all those other people" type stories.
The biggest urban legend I heard was the one about a paradise earth. Lilly
A rapist was loose in the town/city, and especially one park or forest area was his favourite crime scene. A pioneer sister was on her way home (or to) FS or a bible study one dark evening. And she had to go through that specific park. She prayed to Jah, and went on. In the middle of the park, she met this dangerous man, but he did not attack her. Later, after he was arrested, he was asked why he did not attack this woman (I always wondered how anyone could know what he did not do...?).
The rapist answered: But she was not alone, she was walking along with two men on her side.
I heard a different variation of this story. The lovely young pioneer sister was in field service and knocked on the door of the rapist. We were supposed to be amazed at this display of divine protection. It had the opposite effect.
Does any one know the one about the JW's on a cruise who witness to a "guy from the UN" ?
I remember the Yearbook that seemed to be full of legends.
I also remember a story, given by a speaker, about two men who vacationed in Africa. They stole a statue from a medicine man. For one year they were both ill with an unknown disease and one of them died. The other man who had the statue on his fireplace mantle said the statue, very solid, did strange things like the head would spin around. JWs came to his door and told him to get rid of it. He did and he was cured of his illness and then he became a JW.
I didn't believe that crap for a minute.
I heard about John Denver throwing JW's out of his concerts too.
Another one was that a sister got into a cab. The cab driver started to drive off to a secluded area away from where she asked him to take her. She began praying out loud to Jehovah. The cab driver heard her prayer and using Jehovah's name. So he pulled over and told her that he was getting ready to take her somewhere to rape her and told her to get out and never get into another cab with the light off.
I heard the John Denver story too, then I heard the real story which was John Denver played the national anthem in the middle of one of his concerts and asked everyone stand up and sing with him then added "If you're a Jehovah's Witness you might find this is a good time to run to the bathroom." Which actually is pretty nice of him.
That rapist story sounds like it's been varied a bunch of different ways, I heard it involving a witness in the door-to-door work, walking through a park, in her car, it's the same as always. Evil Man, Witness woman, somehow angels (who must mysteriously look like the Men In Black) are seen next to her.
Anyone hear the ones about Nazi Germany? I've got 2 for you:
Nazi's invade a man's home, the lead nazi is looking for any WT related material and starts sending his nazis into various rooms of the house to search. The lead nazi picks up a piece of paper without looking at it and uses it as a pointer device. They don't find anything and leave, all the while the lead Nazi had used the WT as his pointing device.
Nazis are at a witness' door to question him about the witnesses in the area. This is like PO because he just happens to have a list of names and addresses of every witness in the area. The list is in a briefcase, the witness throws the briefcase outside and a cabbage in the garden opens up then closes over the briefcase to hide it.
