Crazy JW Urban Legends

Wordly Andre

OK it’s time to recount all your favorite crazy JW urban legends, I’ll start I remember this one was told to me after I had left the ORG, there was a newly married couple, they were good little Dubs, evil mother in law lived with them, she did not want to convert or study, well time went on they had a baby, and mother in law was into some spiritual stuff, unknown to JW mommy and daddy. Anyway JW mommy wakes up one night to find little baby dub sitting inside the fish tank with most of the water taken out and there was some kind of evil spirit present, mommy dub yells out Jemima’s name and breaks free with baby dub. Evil mother in law is asked to leave their happy home. Boy what a great way to get rid of your mother in law, Sorry honey your mom has demons, no really real demons, aww she can’t live here.

B_Deserter

Sister marries newly-baptized, new-to-the-false brother that she got involved with when he was still a study. As they were leaving the Kingdom Hall on the way to the reception, he whispers to her "take a good look, because this is the last time you'll ever see a Kingdom Hall."

Positive Aposta-ending: Sister looks at new husband and replies "I know, it's weird isn't it?" and later that night, they both have the kinkiest oral and anal wedding-night sex ever. The end.

Open mind

At a JW "gathering" a few weeks ago the pros and cons of New Orleans as a vacation destination were being discussed.

One currently serving elder said he has no desire to go to the Big Easy because of all the demon activity it is known for.

Almost spit a mouthful of Cabernet all over the dude's nice beige carpet.

Open Mind

AlmostAtheist

A sly sister was wanting to test her beau's newly-acquired love of Jehovah and all things spiritual. So she says one day, "I'm sick of all of this field service. I say we quit!" and she hurls her bookbag into the lake. He says, "Oh thank God! I only did this because you did!" He follows suit and tosses his bag.

She now knows he isn't a True Christian(tm) so she breaks it off with him.

(And goes on to marry an elder that beats her, and is also a pedophile. Though I don't think that part is generally mentioned!)

Dave

wha happened?

Yea I've heard all those as well. Along with all the circulating letters/faxes of stories of JW's enduring horrible conditions. I remember one stupid one about a Japanese person in prison on a death sentance. On how he met a brother visiting the prisons, studied, got baptized, became model prisoner etc etc. But alas, his death sentance came up and he was put to death. oh boohoo.

I remember one brother who would come up with all these "proof" documents that looked like something he printed out on word. Everyone ate it up

Wordly Andre

How did that one about the JW going door to door and one house the owner had a dog named satan.... I forget how the rest of the story goes

Burger Time

How about the one of a study being plagued with sickness so she decides to throw away her picture of Mary hanging in the room. When it gets thrown out mysterious tears come on the painting from Mary. They haul it off and she never feels sick again! Swear to god I heard this one.

lesterd

And then theres the one where a man bedriden with a broken leg, lay and watched a bird build its nest on his window sill all the time he wwas recooperating, he watch every day with great interest in how this little archetic was able to build this strong little home for such flimsy materials, he waited till the egges were laid and hatched and the baby birds fledged and flew away. Intrigued, he carefully unraveled the nest and examined its contents, among the materials was a scrap of paper that read watchtower Bible and tract soceity, he got in contact with the local congregation and is now a good brother.

God I did that to well.

ninja

I heard one about a top guy at the watchtower who bought a house for Abraham.....when Abraham didnt come back he moved in himself and drove lots of cadillacs during the depression..........they crazy JW legends eh?......he he

undercover

I heard one about a top guy at the watchtower who bought a house for Abraham.....when Abraham didnt come back he moved in himself and drove lots of cadillacs during the depression

"The truth is stranger than fiction"...or..."you can't make this shit up"

Crazy JW Urban Legends

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