We Should Give Newbies the Benefit of the Doubt

by flipper 53 Replies latest jw friends

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  flipper

  Considering what has gone on at this board the last couple months, I thought this would be good to discuss ! It's true that some here are somewhat jaded and untrusting of others because of the deception pulled by " Trevor" and the whole " Trevorgate " thing. That being said and acknowledged however , think about what makes us not trust others as ex-witnesses. Could some be reacting with doubts towards newbies because we were all lied to by the Watchtower organization, and our " unsubstantiated " doubting of them is due to a knee jerk reaction from how we were decieved by the witnesses? Why can't we just give newbies the benefit of the doubt at first ?

  Here is my point bottom line, just because a newbie comes on here with a story we have never heard of , and consider outlandish , does that mean it never happened, just because our experiences in the witness organization wasn't the same as someone else ? Look, yesterdays poster (inactive?) had many not often seen circumstances in her post. But believe me, her and her husbands dealings with elders were not half as bizarre as what I personally experienced or have seen dealing with elders, having been raised in that cult from birth to age 44, when I got out 4 years ago ! My take on all newbies is let them tell their story , and respect them while they tell it ! They have already been beaten down by the witness organization and are looking for comfort and support here on JWD. I will believe a newbie or anybody until I have damn good confirmation they are lying ! Each of us wanted support when we first came to this site, don't you think most of these people want the same thing ?

  In the event I see a newbie or anyone else showing disrespect to others on this site, I will call them on the carpet for it, if they are making threats to others, as one person did on my sexual abuse by dentist thread the other day, and the administators were informed and they corrected the situation. But if nobody is threatening us , being hateful, just telling their story, is it too difficult a thing for us to be kind, lose our cult-inflicted paranoia and be welcoming to these newbies? And then if in time or down the line they prove as deceptive, then deal with it at that time ! But give someone the benefit of the doubt, be kind, until they prove themselves otherwise ! How much does it hurt us to read or listen to others stories of what they have been through. We are taking a lot out of our time to be on this board anyway and post, what better thing could we do than help someone in need, truly ? I welcome your replies, let's talk and reasonon this. Peace out to all of you, Mr. Flipper
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  4mylove

  Thanks for that flipper. I'm sorry to say that after the whole trevorgate thing, things changed for newbies. I completely understand trust issues from those who have been so abused for so long. But some of us, not even having been witnesses have also been hurt. I noticed after trevors' situation, no one would really respond to newbies posts. I still love being here and do feel welcomed. Thanks for looking out.

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  helncon

  Hi Mr Flpipper,

  I don't think we should be wary of newbie, as we all were once newbies at one point in time.

  We all have our own story to tell if its in our very first post, multiply posts or even never tell the whole story but just ones that may help others.

  Yes we sould be on the lookout for those who abuse jwd and not follow the rules.

  For the trevorgate thing here was a man who was on this board for over 2 years who created these characters for what purpose who knows and i think well will never know.

  What i find more annoying that someone makes a first time post then never returns. There maybe reasons for this and they just may want to read the replies and feel that they have their answer.

  I guess everyone is here for their own different reasons.

  Helen
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  llbh

  Hi Mr Flipper,

  My sentiments entirely and i told inactive so yesterday I hope she still posts here. My stance is believe and trust newbies and older posters until given reason not to, Be especially kind to new ones, they have to unload and figure out. If my trust is misplaced I move on, after all it is not my credibility that has been damaged.

  regards llbh
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  dinah

  It's hard to trust in the first place, but people like Trevor make it harder. The JW's who come around and bait us and get us into arguments are aggravating and just stir up anger. No one is winning us back to that God-forsaken organization by now.

  Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge and start giving the trolls more rope. Anyone who isn't a troll won't hang themselves------hopefully. Thing is it's hard to tell the difference and I would hate to see just one person who is sincerely hurting be cast aside or ran off the board by skepticism.
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  OUTLAW

  No Way!!..Roast the Newbies!....Blow some of them up!.......Bite off their heads....Or chase them with chain saws....A fork in the head until they are dead!.......Whats with all the "Give a Newbie a Chance",Crapola?!!........OUTLAW
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  lovelylissa

  is it any wonder some people only post once and then leave? i came hear for support hoping to speak to others who had been rejected by people who they thought were friends. as far as i'm aware i haven't broken any rules but i still felt attacked and accused of something without even knowing what! i'd like to thank the kind people who made caring comments and helpful advice but i'm not sure i feel welcome here, it's a real shame as i've no one to talk to about x-jws as it's a taboo subject in my house. lissa- newbie
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  Clam

  LOL @ Outlaw

  It's the Emperors we should be suspicious of not the Newbies. It's the Emps who've been going off the rails.

  Lisa of course you're welcome. On your thread there was a bit of a scrap, mainly because there was someone on there having a go at you who's about as welcome here as a turd in a punchbowl. Don't let that put you off. You'll get lots of support and make many friends here. Stick in there.
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  momzcrazy

  Thank you Mr Flipper. I was welcomed as a newbie, but I also hid nothing. I have disclosed identifying things about my self. Some are too scared to and have come here looking for help. Give them the benefit of the doubt. If they come here with wrong motives that will show itself in time and then can be dealt with.

  I was truly saddened by why has happened on the "shunned" thread with lovelylissa. Suppose for just a minute that she really came here for support. I hope she didn't get scared away when I really believe there are people here who could help and support her.

  I understand having different points of view, and I love that here we can be honest. But there is a difference between honesty and rudeness and don't think some here know that.

  my 2 cents,

  momzcrazy
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  OUTLAW

  Clam..Ya,we got sucked in big time with Trev..LOL!!..Live and learn,what else can you do?............LovelyLissa..What do you want?..A Frigg`n Laser Display?!..And..A Dancing Welcoming Committee?!.. .....Your first lesson,in not taking the board too seriously!....Welcome to the board LovelyLissa...OUTLAW