Have You Divorced And/Or Remarried- What Did You Learn From It ?

by flipper 62 Replies latest jw friends

  • tula
    tula

    My first husband died from food poisoning.

    My second husband got shot.

    .....he wouldn't eat the food.

    Seriously folks, what I learned in hindsight is that you can be a lot better off being a widow than being divorced.

    Also, I learned you should not make lemonade in a galvanized container.

    Mr. Flipper....you know I kidding, right? I think best to tell joke than sob story. Not my losses as you say. Their loss.

    I will tell you one story.

    My JW friend says to me...if both your ex husbands are resurrected and you had to pick one to be with in the new system...which one would you pick?

    I answered with a groan...I would say oh Jovah, please just let me stay in the ground. If thats what I have to come back to!

    Then I said to my JW friend...you said it would be a paradise and Jehovah gives your hearts desire. Why would he make me choose or put up with something like? ...... to make me wish I just stayed dead?

    It made me realize too that they dont have a clue and seem to make it up as they go along. For people who are so brainwashed, once in a while, they can show a twisted imagination!

  • flipper
    flipper

    Interesting post Tula. So sorry for your losses, hope you find happiness again somehow

  • Gryph
    Gryph

    Thanks for the personal comments Flipper. Another thing I've learned... looking back and seeing others posting on their "failed" marriages is simply this... It takes 2 to make the marriage work. You shouldn't fault yourself, granted learn from your mistakes, but don't EVER consider yourself a failure. As Thomas Edison had said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Of course he was referring to his incandescent light bulb, but it's the same principle. As soon as you allow yourself to be beaten into thinking YOU are the failure you've failed yourself.

  • flipper
    flipper

    GRYPH- I agree with you. When first out of a marriage it is so easy to get down on oneself! I felt like a failure , but as time went on, I regained strength and ability to be a giving, loving man again . Read a lot of relationship books ! LOL! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • pmouse
    pmouse

    Married at 17 as a witness, divorced 10 years later. Four years after that remarried non-witness which has lasted now for 20+ years.

    Things learned:

    1. Being widowed is better than being divorced.
    • Financial settlement is usually better AND you don't have to split the assets.
    • You might actually still like the poor SOB
    • No additional harrassment from him to you or the family
  • I could actually support myself and my son, buy groceries, pay bills without a husband which was a lesson in self-sufficiency.
  • I finally got to date who I wished and chose a husband without the witnesses pressuring me to marry the first boy I dated. I actually got to call off an engagement and was congratulated in lieu of being "reproved" publicly.
  • Never ever get married as a teenager. Wait until you are an adult, understand yourself and what you really want in a mate.
  • If you happen to be so unlucky as to choose another schmuck, feed him lots of butter and up the life insurance.
  • flipper
    flipper

    PMOUSE- Very funny stuff! It is nice to pick a mate without the org. hounding you! Your husband better dot his t's and cross his I's on the insurance policy! LOL! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • justhuman
    justhuman

    at the momment I'm sepparated

  • flipper
    flipper

    JUST HUMAN-- So sorry to hear that friend ! I've certainly been separated, divorced, the whole 9 yards! I hope you are able to get the future you want, whether you are able to retrieve your situation in the separation or if it ends up in divorce, I wish you the best truly ! If ya ever want to talk, feel free to pm me! Peace out, Mr. Flipper hang in there !

  • peggy
    peggy

    Actually quite a painful topic......divorced some three years now......learning to make to make it on my own.

    Went from fathers home to husbands...never knew who I was. I was a baby of eigthteen, just six weeks into my eighteenth year. Armagedon was just around the corner!

    I could only imagine my future....I survived each and every day. No abuse, no phsyical pain.....just a deep and painful DULLNESS!

    My gifts were my three children and an ex who I will always treasure.

    I learned the pain of LOSS, I felt and feel grief....and I cherish the freedom to think and be and learn and live...as I choose......

    In the end I will die...as all creation does....

  • peggy
    peggy

    Actually quite a painful topic......divorced some three years now......learning to make to make it on my own.

    Went from fathers home to husbands...never knew who I was. I was a baby of eigthteen, just six weeks into my eighteenth year. Armagedon was just around the corner!

    I could only imagine my future....I survived each and every day. No abuse, no phsyical pain.....just a deep and painful DULLNESS!

    My gifts were my three children and an ex who I will always treasure.

    I learned the pain of LOSS, I felt and feel grief....and I cherish the freedom to think and be and learn and live...as I choose......

    In the end I will die...as all creation does....

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