I appreciated your comments Frenchy. I too share similar feelings regarding "the truth" and the people in it. I know the people in the truth are not bad. They believe its the truth, but do not know why. They are loyal, but it is misdirected. Most are simply ignorant of all the facts. I do know many have doubts and concerns, but it is much like the story of the Emperor's New Clothes, everyone thinks they are the only one and they are afraid to speak up.
The difficulty with the having to accept "all or nothing" regarding doctrine and teachings makes it difficult for people who have principles, and have a conscience, and who love God, people and truth. I too face the same dilemmas. Most of all I wish "the truth" was true.
Most people want someone to tell them exactly what to do "to get saved". They need someone to tell them everything is going to be alright. What they fail to realize is that the Bible for some reason is not written that way. Quite likely we will search our whole life, and never come to definite conclusions on all things. This is very unsettling for most of us, and certainly for us who have been used to just accepting all answers from "the channel".
Prayer is often difficult when one knows the facts. I have heard this often. It makes people think they have made a mistake in their reasoning. To me, it appears that when one sees that the "emperor" has no "clothes", the "rug" has been pulled out from under us. Our foundation has been shaken. We question who really is God? The "organizational cliches" we used to rhyme off are realized. It seems we need to somehow learn to pray all over again.
I really can't offer you any answers Frenchy, because if I could I could help myself too. I'm 26 years old trying to reconcile all these things. Even though its difficult, I wouldn't trade my progress down the path to freedom for the shackles of ignorance.