My Journey

Frenchy

I suppose we all think of ourselves as unique and we are in so many ways. What I fail to realize, I guess, is that we are far more alike than unique. Every now and then I will reveal some little fear or quirk or dream that I have only to find out that someone else has experienced the same thing! Regardless of how many times it happens it never fails to amaze me.

Mom began studying when I was very young and so I ‘grew up’ in ‘the truth’ …AND WAS CONVINCED OF IT from that point on. In the slow and relentless march of time that was to come I was faced with many important (how important are we really in the scheme of things?) decisions which I set about resolving on the basis of my faith in what I KNEW to be the truth. I raised my children that way. Two accepted it and were baptized and one did not.

Somewhere along the way I realized (my personal evaluation of things) that things were not as I once supposed them to be. I began trying to evaluate our beliefs as one outside of our faith would, as a ‘worldly person.’ No one who has not been a witness can fully appreciate the difficulty of this. It proved to be a long journey that would not be without consequences. I came to realize just how silly some of the things we did and preached sounded to one not ‘conditioned’ to accept this. I came to realize how flimsy some of our ‘basic truths’ really were when it came to actually establishing (defending is another matter) them from Scripture. As disturbing as this was to me, it was made even more so by yet another realization: There was so much that was GOOD about it! There was so much that I was convinced was right. THAT is where the difficulty lies (please note present tense) for me.
(to be cont'd)

Frenchy

(cont'd from previous post)

As noted at the beginning, no one is altogether unique and so I wonder not if, but how many others are on the same road. I read comments made by apostates (I no longer use that term in a derogatory sense) who are bitter with anger with EVERYTHING about the Society. Some are constantly bashing the elders (all the elders!), painting them as evil and conniving, as sinister agents of the devil out to ‘get’ someone. My perception is quite different. I see them as no different from the flock. Some are following blindly while others are being torn apart by the same paradoxes that are plaguing me.

In the organization, no real criticism is tolerated. If you say something negative about the Society you get ‘jumped on’. That is a true statement. This is a major grievance with most if not all apostates. YET….YET if you should reply to one of their posts with ANYTHING but a negative comment about the Society or the elders or the brotherhood in general, they (most, not all) will jump all over you with the same tenacity and passion as a circuit overseer would if he saw you reading Ray Franz’s book during the elders’ meeting! What’s the difference in the two? None that I see.

(to be cont'd)

Simon

Hi Frenchy
I think your comments are spot on.
JWs and exJWs can both be equally unwilling to really discuss things and see things from anyone else's point of view.

Frenchy

Hello, Simon

Yes, we are so much like the ones we accuse.

Frenchy

(cont'd from above)
I’m one of the few people, I guess, that really enjoys field service. I love talking to people. I love discussions, debates. You knock on a hundred doors and at least sixty will not be home. Of the the forty left you will get at least twenty kids telling you mom and dad are still sleeping (although you can see dad in the back yard working on the mower and mom traipsing about in her housecoat). Of the twenty left, eighteen are totally apathetic and summarily dismiss you with a patronizing smile. One is hostile but you chalk him up as ignorant and move on to the one-hundredth door. There you find them, husband and wife sitting in the living room. He’s watching the news and she’s shelling peas for dinner. They invite you in and he turns off the TV and asks you to sit down. After a while they begin asking you questions and you begin answering them and reading from your Bible to them. An hour goes by and you realize that people are in the car waiting on you. You tell them you have to go and they beg you to stay…you stay another thirty minutes and then you set up an appointment to come back. THAT, to me is the greatest feeling of all. You teach people how to use their Bibles, you help them sort out complex and perplexing problems, you pray with them. They put their arms around you and hug you and tell you how much they appreciate your taking the time with them to teach them the things they want to know. They begin cleaning up their lives and making changes and they revel in the new hope that they have. For me there is no substitute for that feeling. I miss it already.
(to be cont'd)

spectromize

Well Frenchy,

For some of us the journey started with the internet as I find myself pondering on some of the points you have made. Welcome to Gutenberg press number 2 in this new age, where scholarly works and information is accelarating the search for a more complete and accurate picture of truth provided a person can sift thru rubble at times.

Frenchy

Dear Spec

You are so right. There is so much information to digest. If nothing else I have come to appreciate just how many ways one thing can be argued!

Martini

Hi Frenchy & co.,

I really wish I could spend more time here,but I have chirpping birds to feed and all the rest. Glad to hear some of yours have taken flight Frenchy. I agree with you brothers, I also have been to other sites where Xer's dominate and I too have found that where as I will admit they are correct on many topics,I find it disturbing how these can lack politeness. It's almost like we JW's say that when people remove the authority of God from their lives they start to believe there is no one to have to answer to for their behavoir, and so everything is valid.
I like to believe that in my journey I will find a truely balanced existence both in my respect for neighbor and to Almighty God.

Later...

Warm Greetings.
Martini

Frenchy

(cont'd from above)
Why don’t I continue in this faith then? I believe that is a fair question. I have trouble answering it. There are things which disturb me greatly. There are doctrines that I firmly believe are wrong. One such doctrine has been and will continue to be extremely hazardous to all who become persuaded into the faith. Others, while admittedly not so life-threatening, have and continue to burden people unnecessarily, adding to the stress that a world, growing steadily more complex and demanding, is placing upon people today. How do I conscientiously bring a Bible study into such an arrangement? I have had to deal with that situation.
(to be cont'd)

RedhorseWoman

All very valid points. All are points that I'm sure any thinking person has pondered. There are times that one wonders when the burden of knowledge will become too great.

My Journey

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