Suicide

by Nicolas 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  flipper

  My stepson knew a teenaged girl in his congregation who committed suicide after being disfellowshipped. I wish the general population was informed about how dangerous depression is, and that it is a medical condition that needs to be recognized and treated.

  I started having depressions at 8 years old. My parents did not believe in any kind of psychotherapy so I went this way for years in and out of depression. I wasn't suicidal until a horrible divorce in 1990. Before that I was totally against taking medication although I had been in therapy starting in my mid-twenties. I finally started on prozac during the divorce, and I believe that and my therapy saved my life. The situation was still horrible and painful, it's not like the drug made me happy or numb. The difference was I was able to think more about solutions and look into the future a little, and have a little hope.

  I went on and off the antidepressant 5 or 6 times over the years thinking I'd be ok, each time the depression crept back in over a few months. For the last 5 years or so I have stayed on and intend to do so. I still tend to depression at times but it is manageable and passes soon. One good thing about being older is you have the memories of coming out of past depressions so you know it's possible to get through it.

  I can't imagine not having counseling to deal with this. There is so much to learn and work through. It did take me years for certain things I learned in therapy to finally click in my mind, but they did click.

  If anyone you know seems to even tend toward being suicidal, take it very seriously. Jump in and help as much as you can.The worst that will come of that most likely is that the person might get angry at having their privacy invaded and bossed around. Beats the alternative. Mrs Flipper
• 

  erandir

  This is why depressed people seldom get over the tendency to depression even when outside situations improve.

  Gopher, here's some anecdotal evidence for you.

  I suffered from depression while I was an active dub. Suicidal, taking-medication, seeing-the-doctor depression.

  I'm not an active dub and am putting that stuff behind me. I'm not depressed anymore.

  My outside situations improved. I'm no longer depressed.
• 

  erandir

  tijkmo, what a heartless thing for an elder to say!

  'well other people seem to manage'

  Jerk! So much for living up to their own WT message of not comparing one person with another in matters of spiritual progress. Hypocrites!
• 

  hamsterbait

  If you cannot be happy on the terms the GB gives you, you are not worthy of life.

  Don't be you.

  Be the person we say, even if you are unhappy.

  Don't have your own hopes and dreams. Have the GB's.

  It is all a hamartic script, that anybody would willingly die to escape, if they have been told there is no escape hatch.

  If you are young embrace who you are, and remind yourself every day that these evil old men will have been long dead when you enjoy your very own twighlight years the way you planned for.

  HB
• 

  AWAKE&WATCHING

  I not only thought about suicide on a regular basis as a JW I thought about killing my children so they could not be hurt spiritually by their unbelieving father. Then they would be resurrected rather than fall out of the truth due to his influence. I can't believe I thought those things.

  Jehovah's shiny happy people.

  Hugs to you all.
• 

  Nicolas

  In my congregation (Canada, Quebec), there was at least three cases of "accidental death" with suspicious circomstances leading few people to believe it might be a suicide. The first was a lady who went missing for a few days. Finally, the police found her body floating in a river. The official story was that she fell in the water while she was going out for a walk but, it's kind of a mystery how can someone can simply fall in the water and get drowned like that especially when you are just out for a walk. The two other cases are from two brothers in the same family. The oldest brother died in an horrible "accident" when his car got traped under the trailer of a big truck. My father knew the driver of the truck and this driver said that he couldn't believe it was just an accident especially considering how he saw it happen. Few years after this person died, his young brother died too in a car "accident". It's really sad how an organization can messed up your life like that. I'm glad I'm out of this even if I still have hard days sometime.
• 

  BrentR

  Anyone ever see documented proof of this claim? (BTW, Brent, I'm not questioning your observations. They sound reasonable to me, but still somewhat anecdotal.) If so, it could be one more powerful piece of information to tuck away for future use.

  That is just an observation I made over the years being a cradle (ex) JW. I have no stats or studies but the vast number of people that I have known that have taken thier lives have been JW's. I have only had one non JW friend commit suicide. But I do not discount 43 years of observations either. My gut says is the rate is higher but a study would be very interesting/disturbing.
• 

  restrangled

  I'm going to write about this if it helps any parent with preteens or teenagers.

  When I was between 11 and 12, I tried to strangle myself, due to my JW upbringing and the pressure I couldn't live up to. I knew it wouldn't work, so after that I tried the following:

  Remember the old "Mary Worth" in the mirror syndrome. You could call on her 50 times and she would show up and do something. I did that too....it didn't work. Then I wrote on my desk in big black ink....."I hate the f'n bastxrds who boss me around"

  What started this terrible scene was a 1 mile walk up to the grocery store the afternoon before, with 50 cents to pick up whipping cream for dinner. On my way back, the most popular boy in school invited me in to his house on my way home. He decided to kiss me and I wrote about it in my diary. I had never felt so good.

  One of my younger brother's stole my diary and showed my mother. She promptly confronted me, assuming I had sex with this boy, saying I had ruined the Family name in the neighborhood and destroyed the name Jehovah. (Good god I was barely 12 years old!!!!!!)

  In my heart at that age, I knew something was terribly wrong.....I was so depressed and this was beyond coping with at that age. Do you remember the song..."Stuck in the Middle with you"? I remember singing that to God every time it came on. I hated him....I never learned otherwise.

  That was my middle years as a JW.......Can you imagine an 11 or 12 year old trying to commit suicide in the early 70's......ITS BEYOND BELIEF. No drugs, alcohol, involved.....just straight depression.
• 

  tall penguin

  (((restrangled)))
  
  I've thought about suicide almost daily since I was 15. As a jw, I was less inclined to follow through, as I was afraid of what jehovah would think of me. Now that there's no jehovah to live for, I find myself (oddly enough) thinking more seriously about it. I spend moments sitting outside the subway station thinking about jumping, but I don't think I have the guts. I'm too afraid I'd end up surviving. So, not everyone is miraculously cured of their depression on leaving the matrix.
  
  tall penguin
• 

  Khepri

  Yes Nicolas, I think yours is a very common experience. I was depressed while still a jw (and was also brought up a perfect little jw like you) but didn't really realise it, just thought I wasn't studying enough (ha! what a joke). After I was disfellowshipped it got worse and I once attempted suicide but I didn't really want to die. But of course if you lost pretty much your entire social circle like many jws who are disfellowshipped, of COURSE you going to be miserable for a while! But it gets better, really. Every now and again I'm sad about losing touch with my family, but I realise now that that's a life I've left behind and I have no intention of returning. I think the most important thing is to make friends outside the organisation - do whatever it takes: join clubs, do organised social stuff, it might feel weird but until you make those friends it's hard to understand what a bizarre, distorted view of the world the jws have.

  Best of luck, don't take life or yourself too seriously, and have fun whenever you can : )