Suicide

Nicolas

I know it's a touchy subject, but anyone here has ever thought of suicide while they were still in the organization? It seem to me that Jehovah's Witnesses have a much higher rate of suicide than the rest of the population. I contemplated suicide myself when I was struggling to get piece of my life back together after being raised as a "perfect little JW" when I was young. Personnally, I suffered more from loneliness than from culpability and that's what brought to the point where I was contemplating suicide. Maybe this loneliness problem was aggravted by the fact that I'm an introverted and shy person and it was really hard for me to socialize, also I had a tendency to try to look like a victim instead of accepting the fact that I'm the only one person who can change my situation. Fortunately, I seeked help by a therapist when I was in the worst part of my "crisis" but, I don't think you can ever get to point where you're completly healed. Maybe, it's just my opinion but, I've been struggling for years and I'm still struggling to restore my self confidence. Anyway, I have to discipline myself to keep being positive

NewYork44M

I know of several witnesses who committed suicide. I never attempted. However, I clearly suffere depression while I was a witness. I do not have this problem now that I am out.

V1710

i contemplated suicide when i was a jw. i was on anti-depressants and felt like driving into the path of a semi on more than one occasion. it was a very dark time for me. i'm grateful i lived through it.

now that i'm out i never, ever would even think of ending my life (perhaps if i had a terminal illness) i love life and everything about it.

i heard last week that a woman who was a jw committed suicide. she was the po's wife and always had a smile on her face. makes one wonder.

helncon

This is a hard one.

Only a few months a go one of the guys i used to havng out with committed suicide leaving a young family:(

But i know of the cong that i grew up in there have been 5 in the last 10 years.

Personally no not whilst i was a jw i did suffer from depression but only realising it on later year i guess it was more out of mere frustration.

I have been well since i had left.

Though after i had my son in 04 i deveoped post natal depression really bad, it took them nearly 12 months to get things right with me and then another 6 months for it to work, there were a few occasions that i just didn't want to live any more... It was scarry when i came out of it. I couldn't believe that i could think like that. The only thing that kept me alive was who would look after my kids and that i wouldn't see them grow up.

Now i am happy and not stressed any more and things are going our way. I'm even been off medication ( i hate taking tablets of any kind) for the last few months and have been able to get back to work again.

Life is great.

Helen

BrentR

When I was an EMT I was on two JW suicide calls, one was a close friend. That is a very tough way to find out and still try to be professional at the same time. Over the years I have seen countless JW suicides and would certainly say it is disproportionate to the regular population.

By the time I was 19 I realized I was turning into my my grandfather and my dad and that alcohol seemed to ease the anxiety a bit. That is when I decided to go down a different road and get help and not continue a generational train wreck. Depression/anxiety is a monster that few people can kill by themselves and w/o help the odds are against you.

In the US suicide is the eighth leading cause of death in males.

1) Heart disease	27.2
2) Cancer	24.3
3) Unintentional injuries	6.1
4) Stroke	5.0
5) Chronic lower respiratory diseases	5.0
6) Diabetes	3.0
7) Influenza and pneumonia	2.3
8) Suicide	2.2
9) Kidney disease	1.7
10) Alzheimer's disease	1.6

oompa

I have often wondered if jw rate is higher. I only know of two in over forty years personally. For about a year I think about it just about every day, if not suicide, just wishing I was dead. This was a direct result of the effects of my "awakening." I am getting help, and am a little better. It may be just time making it better and not meds. I did not think of it as an active witness, and I am on a good fade now, but technically in. Try to stay positive and BUSY.

hang in there of course.....oompa.....sounds so easy......also get lots of exercise

BrentR

In the 13 years I spent in EMS I saw some horrid tragic suicide scenes. It was extremely sobering for me and served as a powerful motivation to get control of my automatic negative thoughts and feeling worthless. I have not beat it yet but I can keep it in the corner most of the time.

Aside from medication and counseling some of the best therapy is just talking with others who are managing it successfully. Those who have never had clinical depression have no idea what it is like and rarely take it seriously until they see someones brains painted all over a wall. That is the harsh reality if it is not addressed and is a terminal disease if left untreated.

Lady Lee

You definitely aren't alone in thoughts of suicide. The couple of years before I left suicidal thoughts were a constant companion. I had even talked to some single sisters in the cong and asked them to be there for my kids if something happened to me.

I know of 1 young fellow in my mother's cong - they said he was no longer a JW and that is why he did it.

A sister I new very well and who struggled with abuse issues from her past and the elder's insistence that she marry the fahter of her children finally found her way out of a traumatic life.

Hitting closer to home - my aunt (only 1 year older than me) committed suicide after being sexually abused by multiple abuses (all but one a JW). The elders recommended she be moved away from her abusers. Meanwhile 3 of her abusers remained in good standing.

November 7 is coming close. 2 years ago my sister committed suicide after a life of neglect, abuse and drugs that she hoped would ease the pain of her early life as the kid of a JW

It's all tragic.

The good news is that we don't have to continue to live with those thoughts. I really haven't thought about suicide as a way to with my life since a few months after I left in 1985.

There is a whole world out there. Some is pretty bad but there are so many good things that I don't want to miss.

I stopped thinking about it for a few reasons.

my kids - I didn't want them to have to live with the pain - I know what my friend's children went through.
I realized that I didn't really want to be dead. I wanted the pain to stop.
Feeling trapped, with no way out, contributed a lot to my suicidal thoughts. Once I found other options (most importantly not JW options) I was free to explore what was good and healthy for me

daytona27

The only place I'd ever post it is here, but a couple of years ago, I attempted. I'd been in a severely mentally abusive relationship that nobody but my family knew about it or believed (elders). My wife was beautiful and very outgoing, yet she was unbelievably cruel. I sucked it up and went just did the only thing you're allowed to do...endure. At 10 years I went through my first nervous breakdown and was very suicidal and depressed. Long story short, I was on and off depressants for 4 years. One day I left work, and decided I was ending it. I won't go into details, but I stopped it within 1-2 seconds of going unconscious. I checked myself into a hospital and was on lockdown for week. When I got out, I went to a meeting and was supposed to have a #2 talk. The elders knew I was in the hospital for attempted suicide. When I came in the hall, they asked "It was just an isolated incident, right? Can you still give your talk?" My wife still.....unbelievably would not stop. After a few months, I separated and I'll spare the other details, but let's just say the elders decided before they met with me. I won't even repeat what was said. It's just too much to relive that stuff. That was two years ago. I don't believe in bashing the org, but I've run into some really heartless people. I'm a kind person who hung in there as long as my sanity lasted. I'm continually on anti-depressants now, and I'm alone. Not a great place to be, but I have peace. I've got no goals, no real future at this point, just still trying to heal from the last 15 years. To answer your question, I think that the judgmental attitude of many, the lack of love that is common, and the beliefs that there is no fiery hell all CAN contribute to a person taking the "easy" and "peaceful" way out of their lives and attempting or carrying through with suicide. The problem with suicidal thoughts, or attempting. She can be a sweet seductress that calls to you.....the thoughts and even attempts come easier. Try not to go down that road. Trust your healthcare professional and get help if you have these thoughts. At least, even if you don't want to live, try to have the desire to not want to feel that way...it can help you decide to get help.

BizzyBee

It occurred to me at such a young age that I don't even want to say how old I was. But, I remember the words I kept thinking that would have been my note of explanation after my body was found - "In my religion, if you do not do enough, you are going to die. I cannot do what I should, so therefore this is the only answer. I'm sorry I was not good enough."

You're thinking 18 -25 years old?

No. Less than ten.

Suicide

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