My Dating horror= You can't have coffee at the mall without a chaperon???

by Witness 007 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Bonnie_Clyde

    My son was almost engaged to his ex-girlfriend who had just moved back to our state. Her divorce from her jerk husband was finalized, but it hadn't been finalized yet with the elders. You know how they have to have PROOF that she was free to remarry. So the girl moved into an apartment across the street from my son. This got the elders upset, and they were constantly doing driveby's trying to catch them at something. Both of them were about 30 years old, but they did their best to live by the rules. They would stand at the window and call each other and wave goodnight.

    I couldn't believe it that the elders actually had to get a signed letter from her parents stating that they knew for a fact that her ex-husband was living with another woman before the elders would release her to marry our son.

  • Junction-Guy

    Dating in the JW religion is one of the touchiest subjects for me, I really was shafted by the cult, and Im still working to free myself from the side effects of my upbringing.

    One of these days (hopefully soon), Im gonna call up my Elder Dad and let him know that his religion almost succeeded in turning me gay, and almost succeeded in turning me against women.

    I hate this Cult for the damage it does to developing minds in children.

  • tijkmo
    My ex-sister in law was in her late 30's when she started her husband.

    is that a push start or a jump start

    (and damn you jeffro)

  • B_Deserter

    Dating is next to impossible in the JW world as the entire congregation fights against you. Even though it's a private affair, it will without fail be drawn into the public light (and scrutiny). This attitude is actually quite recent, probably due to the number of kids who get "caught" committing fornication, which is actually likely caused by the lack of an outlet caused by the congregation sabotaging every relationship one tries to have, in addition to the "no-sex-before-marriage" ruling which causes people to get married at a young age for sex, then breeds infidelity later on.

  • MadTiger

    Solid principles gone horribly cancerous.

    The history of the organization in a nutshell.

  • SnakesInTheTower

    I have to post. I tried not to, but this topic pisses me off.

    I WAS going to post a related story on a new topic about the ridiculousness of the extreme control of the Watchtower Society and the local BOEs. I had typed a long story, and then highlighted it and copied it so I could paste it into a new topic....then i made the mistake of copying something else...yep...story gone.... I will have to post it later when I have more time.

    I dated one sister as a dub, almost got engaged (informally we were), and then it ended...another and different long ass story. That's the extent of my dating experience...and that was riddled with control freak elders...... interfereing bastards

    As to this specific aspect of control (dating horrors/chaperones)....because of the ridiculous dating rules of the Borg, I am starting all over on the social front...its sad really. 40 freaking years old and not dating anyone. What's that say about me? bastards. I am taking control of my life. I really am a decent human being.

    SnakesInTheTower (of the "Witness 007 hit a nerve" Sheep Class)

  • Leolaia

    BTW, it should probably be clear that there is no teaching about "chaperones" in the Bible.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    My ex and I were under constant scrutiny as her father was the PO. He was a Nazi so he and his fellow goose-steppers were always quick to point out everyone's improper behavior. This led all the other JW's who were counseled to watch our every move. We got hauled in to the back room for just about anything. It got so bad that after a while, people just started making up crap and reporting it to the elders. I remember this one day, the elders were hammering away at us with yet another accusation and I of course denied it. He asked what my proof was that my ex and I weren't alone and acting improperly. I said: "You are my proof. I was in service with u that day and that time." A blank stare and he excused from the back room. The parents gave us that don't sit together unless you're engaged crap as well.


    Scully wrote:

    told by the elders in no uncertain terms that it was improper for us to sit beside each other at the Kingdom Hall unless we were married or engaged to be married.

    When I attended meetings as a teenager, my friend and I chaperoned a young couple who were preparing their wedding. Chaperoning them was easy. We got to eat all the chips and pop we could, while they went upstairs and did whatever. Thing is, they could tell the elders, "We had chaperones!

    Hey! We were on the job!


  • Bonnie_Clyde

    Clyde and I were lucky. Our dating years were before the chaperone rules were formulated. Before the elder arrangement, the Assistant Congregation Servant and his wife wanted to go out for the evening. They asked Clyde and I who were only engaged to watch their two-year old son in their house. We could have had a lot of sex that night right under their roof!

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