How Would You Handle Your Daughter Dating A Different Ethnic Person?

by minimus 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    I know of someone who's daughter is dating a young man from the Bahamas. The girl is 20 and he's 24 and was already married to an Australian woman 10 years older than him. He has no use for his crack addicted mother and he tolerates his younger sister that seems to be on the same course as her mommy. This girl from the USA is totally infatuated with the Bahamians and felt she was in love with a previous boy that she had met last year but things didn't work out when she found out that while he was dating her, he also was engaged!

    The girl's best friend (also white) is dating a different island boy and from what I understand the parents do not know how to proceed. They are hoping that this is just a phase but are saying or doing nothing but accepting what their daughters are doing.

    Any comments???

  • Gopher

    The girl is already 20, so there may not be much the parents can do (unless she comes to them seeking their counsel). If they speak out about it they risk driving her closer to the man, or encountering accusations of prejudice.

    It sounds like she is more in love with the idea of marrying an islander than with this particular man. Experience may become her best teacher.

  • minimus

    Well said, Gopher. I think she is enamored by the smoothness of these guys. (To me they look like players).

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles

    If she were my daughter, I wouldn't be too pleased with the situation as you described it. Not because of the guy being of another ethnic group, but simply because she may be too young and inexperienced to realize his true colors.

    If it were just a case of my daughter dating someone of another race ... I'd give her my blessing! She'd just be following in her mother's footsteps!

  • sweetstuff

    She is 20, not 14. If she is in lust, love whatever with any man, from anywhere, her parents should support her. I have two daughters and I honestly believe that open communication is the key. They will make mistakes, they will date the wrong guys (that is no reference to color or creed, need to clarify that!).

    I think for parents to no no any relationship their 20 year old daughter has is almost like pushing her into the guys arms. So what if his mother had a drug problem and his sister, that is not the guy's fault. He was married before to an older woman, he's 24, he made a mistake, I am 35 and I was married before, should people judge me on that basis?

    So what if she dated another guy from the island? If she only dated rich blondes from Rhode Island who were previously married, this wouldn't even come up!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! But because she prefers boys from the Bahamas, its like Oh my! Pleaseeeeeee Just as many players in any culture, in any place.

  • nvrgnbk

    Maybe the dudes from the Islands do it for her.

    To each his/her own.

    Since when does any 20 year-old listen to anyone about matters of the heart?

  • sweetface2233
    things didn't work out when she found out that while he was dating her, he also was engaged!

    That's got nothing to do w/ race! I was dating a guy back in 2005 and I was head over heels. I found out 6 weeks later that the bastard was married. He is white.

  • LoverOfTruth

    I have no problem as long as the person isn't a Bum.

    My son just married a girl from Indonesia. My daughter dated a few different nationalities when she was in Scotland. My Son (The JW) is planning to marry a Black JW Girl.

  • ronin1

    It does not matter what race or ethic group this man is from.

    She is truly inexperienced and that should be your main concern.

    If you have tried to talk to her on the basis of her inexperience and not on the basis of race, and she still is determined to go forward with him, there is nothing you can really do.

    Try to be supportive and advise her when you can.


  • jaguarbass

    My son married a girl from Thailand.

    I am Irish and married an Italian.

    Parents get over it. Life goes on.

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