When I found this site I considered myself a fader with family still in the cult. I thought that I should limit personal information so that any lurking scumbag wts reps couldn't track me and jeopardize the relationships I walk on eggshells to maintain with my family. But something happened last night that caused me to suddenly not give a rats anal orifice what jw's think.
I got called 'daddy'.
My wife and I went through the court system in the early 90's to get her 2nd cousin who was 11 at the time, out of protective services (which was a group home for abused children). Her mother was in prison for selling drugs and her grandmother and grandfather had given her less than stellar care that resulted in her being removed and put into state custody. It was tough because 2 states were involved (our home state and the one that had taken her into custody). Two home studies with 2 different criteria, parenting classes (which wasn't a requirement for our state so we ended up in classes with abusive parents who were trying to get their kids back) two different state human services departments, more court hearings than you can shake a stick at, long drives state-to-state to visit her every weekend and finally were given full guardianship after her mother surrendered her parental rights from prison. A full year had passed and all we had to do to adopt her was file one more court document but one of the states (I can't remember which now) said that a child over 12 has to consent to adoption, which she never did. So we had her now and raised her as best we could until....her mother got out of prison 4+ years later and caused all sort of headaches I won't bore you with but suffice it to say she tried running away to her mom and ended up on drugs and later pregnant (one girl born in 2000 and 2 boys). All sorts of bad blood developed amongst members of the family that only lots of time has healed.
Fast forward to last Labor Day weekend. There are 2 little girls, 12 and 8, that are being raised by their single grandfather whom we've grown close to at our church. We've basically had the girls every weekend since the second time we met them. Because of his age (and total non-interest in shopping) he asked us to help out with their school clothes and school supplies. Did I mention that Mrs. Eagle is a fantastic, professional shopper? Anyway, we decide that the girls deserve to see Six Flags in the state mentioned in the earlier paragraph, before school begins. So we made arrangements to stay with my wife's aunt and end up taking my wife's 3rd cousin (the daughter of the girl we had raised in the 90's who's now 6) to the amusement park also. So instead of a 4-pack we're now a 5-pack. The park is great, the kids ride everything once and most things twice. We packed up the 2 we brought with us and head home Monday.
Tuesday we get a call from our 'daughter' asking us to take her oldest because of abuse issues from her husband (the state was on its way to step in again - the cycle has repeated). So we make another mad dash down to the other state and bring back her 6 year old. She doesn't want her, can't handle her and doesn't want her to end up in state custody. She signs over guardianship to us and hasn't looked back since. Well, except to tell us that child protective services is about to call us to follow up on the open case. Ironically, I end up talking with the same person at CPS we dealt with in the 90's. Once she pulls out the old info on us - case closed.
So for the last several weeks we've been parents for the first time all over again. But back to last night: because of the abuse issue in her home Mrs. Eagle and I decided that my only 'job' should be chauffer, hand-holder (and carry guy when she get tired walking at places like the mall. Did I mention that Mrs. Eagle is a fantastic, professional shopper?) cook, laundryman, bedtime story reader and prayer leader. Mrs. Eagle handles everything else. Anyway, when she said her prayers last night (thank you for school and lunch and six flags and I hope I can go back) after she said 'amen' she said, "Wait, I forgot one, and thank you for my new mommy and daddy, amen."
I'd love to post some pics of her but I'll have to wait until after the court declares us her legal guardians later this month.
Eagle