Witness oo7. I am sorry if my fellow white men gave you some bad vibes.
My first reaction to your comment is, when I was a witness, I felt a pressure to try to fit in. I was trying to make the religion my life and I thought God was involved with the religion. If I was not socially involved, every weekend I felt a hole in my soul. There were deffinitely clicks and the clicks in my case had nothing to do with race.
I was a pioneer and ministerial servant, I gave a lot of talks I married into a very popular large Italian family, Still I wasnt invited to everything and it bugged me. Everybody doesnt get invited to everything, unless its the congregation picnic which back in the 70's they would announce from the stage.
When I left the Tower in 83, It was a great relief to become Los Lobos and come and go where and when I pleased. I do not depend on others to entertain me or validate my exhistence. I probably go to the opposite extreme in avoiding people. I've been out since 83 and I am invited to a Witnoid get together today that I am dreading, I'm going as a curtousey to my wife who has been out since 93. The get together is at her sisters who is a witnoid.
We had a black couple in our congregation back in 75. My congregation was 100% white in a racist part of Cleveland in an era very close to the days of segregation. What I saw was our congregation embraced that couple and they were at all of the get togethers and activities and more than I was at.
Still I remember, if I wasnt invited to everything, and I wasnt. It bugged me. I just realized from my days in school that I want invited to everything in the world and I wasnt invited to everything in the troof. I didnt know why I wasnt invited to everything. If I was black, I guess I might have thought that was why. I just realized everybody wasnt invited to everything. For a while I became friends with another witness couple and we would get together regularly, dinner, cards, drink. Between my personal friends and marrying into a popular Italian family with 8 witness children, I realized no one was invited to everything. But when I wasnt invited it still bugged me very much.
My comment on you hearing brothers making racist remarks while working backstage at an assembly is this. I work in a jail, with a lot of people that are not white. A lot of them use racist terms among themselves and towards everyone else. It's not right. But its reality. I dont use racist language. I have seen Black officers call other black officers the N word and they got fired for it. But thats among us officers. Amongst the civilian population the N word is rampant. Just listen to hip hop, its based on words that rhyme with bitch and the N word. If young white people hear black people call each other racist words, maybe they think they can do it also. It would be nice if no one ever offended anyone else, but its not that way. When I was a young white person in the 60's white people used derogatory terminology towards all white men. They called the Italians Wops and Dagos, The Germans, Krauts. The Russians Commareds, The Eastern Europeans DP's The Irish, Mics and drunks. The Polish, Polocks, White Americans from West Virginia, Hill Billies on and on. Southern white people are called crackers. And If a black man happend on the scene I dont think he was exempted.
Age, maturity and upbringing would have a bearing on what comes out of ones mouth.
All in all I am very happy, most happy to be removed from the politics of the JW congregation to me it wasnt natural or comfortable. Personally I have gotten my satisfaction from doing things in life, not from going out to dinner or spending the evening with religiously confused people. By doing things, I mean in my younger days, I would join sports teams, baseball, soccer, volleyball and I played in musical groups. Those kind of activities kept me busy and seemed natural to me. If your not athletic or musical do whatever you are. I think you are older so you probably have figured this out for yourself.
