by cassyrene 65 Replies latest jw experiences
JW rules are for people who are playing the JW game.
It seems to me that you are not playing the JW game anymore, so you shouldn't let their rules govern your behavior.
Shunning, for example. You don't have to play the part of the Shun-ee for any JW Shun-er.
You can be bright, effusive, and happy!
"HI! It's been so long since I've seen you! How have you been! Are you still part of that miserable doomsday cult? How's that workin' out for ya?"
Cassy, I have a similar life experience,. I'm the only one in the kids that got baptised. I'm married and I live a fairly good life, did a couple of "bad" things but not that crazy. According to biblical and JW morality, my siblings lived a "worst" life then me but because I'm baptised and I ask a few hard to answer questions to my dad, who is a " pioneer" , he decided that I am an apostate and said a few nasty things to me. Now I say to myself that I am a better man then he is and that life is to short to waist my time with people like that.
JW rules are for people who are playing the JW game.
It seems to me that you are not playing the JW game anymore, so you shouldn't let their rules govern your behavior.
Shunning, for example. You don't have to play the part of the Shun-ee for any JW Shun-er.
You can be bright, effusive, and happy!
"HI! It's been so long since I've seen you! How have you been! Are you still part of that miserable doomsday cult? How's that workin' out for ya?"
That, in my opinion, is good advice. Hang in there you are not alone.
Cassyrene,
You are amongst friends and fellow survivors of the "loving" shun policy. You will find much comfort and compassion here!
Congrats on the wonderful milestones in your life....keep moving forward.
Freegirl
welcome cassyrene, sorry to hear your story :( we all need our parents, we all need love and it is so sad when we don't get what we need from those who are so important to us. Many people have offered better advice than I ever could!
I'm so happy that you have someone to be happy with and who supports you as you support them, it makes life a little easier doesn't it?
Oh (((Cassyrene)))
My name is Cass; my parents called me Cassandra when I was in trouble. I used to be called Cassy but got annoyed when people would spell it wrong. Dumb huh?
All this crapola right before your wedding, that sucks! My wedding was messed up too - I had only one friend there. My hens night was him and his three mates who I'd never met. I'd been dfd only a few months before and was just getting my life started. I was so determined to ignore the insane JW part of my history and just look forward. Everything in front of me had so much hope, and still does.
My four siblings have all cut me off, I'm dealing with that. My folks came to my wedding but we've had a strained relationship since. I'm sure that one day they'll do the same thing as your dad told you, I'm trying to be ready for that conversation, but how? It's so insane.
All we can do is live our lives. Be happy, grow, have our families, and treat them the way we wish we'd been treated. You can learn from this and be a far better mum than you ever had. You can tell your kids about their grandparents.
It hurts your dad to have said what he said. One day in the very distant future, he might apologise for it. Maybe not. Love them, and let them go.
You post left me so angry! I have family that won't talk to me either... love, family, does it mean nothing to these people??? I often think about the fact that my Grandma, cousins, uncles and aunt aren't going to know when I have children... I don't even think they know that I'm married. If I died, they wouldn't attend my funeral (which is another can of worms... I've read some doozies here about that subject too).
I can relate to your story in so many ways, but so do many of the other people posting. I've been here less than a week, but it's been so therapeutic, so yes, you have come to the right place. Reading other people's reactions to your story, and the stories that they share will make you feel that you are NOT alone, because you're NOT alone!
Everyone here can relate to your story in some capacity, and it's always best to learn and grow with people who have been in your shoes, and know how it feels to be abandoned. It's hard to move on, because of the incredible amount of guilt that consumes you when you were a part of something so controlling to your every move!
Please, keep reading, posting, and participating. It really helps.
