Nope, I can honestly say I do not.
Nope, I can honestly say I do not.
About the only thing I think of about the meetings is the wasted time and energy that goes into them. Service is another thing I feel is a waste of time to spread a scam and ruin lives. People have died on account of this work, both from the policies and from the work itself.
Pioneering? I haven't even been to the Crapmorial in the past 2 years. In 2006, in fact, I even went out and bought a Ouija board instead of going. So obviously I wouldn't waste the time pioneering. I would rather be reaching out to be a Jedi Master or Emperor Class, or even Supreme One instead of one of those "privileges".
In fact, if forced back, I would probably be the biggest cancer seed they ever had. Every piece of literature would have a link to an apostate Web site. I would direct householders to apostate sites on return visits, ruining those calls forever. And I would tell people within the congregation that the reason why such sites are banned is that they tell the real truth. That would ruin that congregation, and probably plant more cancer seeds within it.
I keep thinking you guys are such Apostates...but I'm not...is that what you mean?
Just the other day I realized that I have established certain relationships with my relatives based on a very passive trusting mild pushover submissive personality that I developed to a nauseating degree during my 35 years as a slave of the Watchtower.
I am being consciously assertive with these folks now and they dont like the change.
I am aware during a conversation how I used to think, behave and react, but then remember that I am free to be me and express my true feelings.
Sometimes I even surprise myself with what thoughtful wisdom comes out of my heart these days now that I am free to think for myself.
I've recovered thank you! It took me about a year to quit calling it "the truth" though ... lol
a very passive trusting mild pushover submissive personality that I developed to a nauseating degree during my 35 years as a slave of the Watchtower.
ANEWME!!! I think I've found my long-lost twin!!
That personality type seems to be the fast ticket to elderhood. (For the guys.)
when I left I had so much zealotry, but nothing to believe in anymore so I poured my zeal into foolish causes so as to have an outlet for that part of my brain the JW religion actually appealed to. I have since gotten over the need to be a 'tru believer' one of the 'in crowd.'
Though I am still a bible believer and an unapologetic theist, I approach it in ways no JW would ever consider.
No, I think I've left most of that crap behind.
I still torture myself over whether I am 'doing enough' towards whatever my goal is. Self-examination can be a good thing; but the JW thing to do is to carry it to an extreme.
Am I doing enough in the field misery? Do I police my mental processes enough? Have I swallowed enough camel? strained enough gnat?
I tend to obsess about dishes, dusting, mundane things like that, but I recognize the tendency as being disconcertingly JW-like in its intensity.
I guess I could have done worse.
If I wear a suit does that make me look like a JW? What if I buy a four door car? Obviously there are some things that are incidental, it makes more sense to no longer identify with it and let it fade naturally, than to hang on to the JW way of thinking to not be like that. If you have to hang on to something, hang on to something ELSE.
Some are still too "sheeplike" pushovers. Others are "elder-like" who might still think they're authorities on everything. Some might still be extreme strivers, trying to get people just to like them, to scmooze them because they really still feel inferior to everyone else. Some might think they "deserve" something bad because they used to think Jehovah might not be blessing them.
I've noticed something here on JWD.
As JWs, God is conflated with and merged into the identity of the WTS organization, most JW's won't admit it, but to them Jehovah ant the GB are one and the same, defame one and you've defamed the other. Loyalty to God IS loyalty to the WTS.
Once one has left the org and come here to JWD, I think more than a few have gotten over most JW beliefs but not that one.
I have noticed that there is a quality to some of the atheism I have seen here on JWD that suggests that the 'God=WTS' equation remains intact in the mind of the writer. The 'Jehovah' of the watchtower is so peculiar and unique to the witness mindset that some need to deny God altogether in order to deny the WTS.
This is not to say that all atheism I've seen here is of this variety, so don't get your atheist panties all up in a knot. I have no problem with you believing as you wish or arriving at a different conclusion than I based on the same facts.
You might even be right, no way of knowing for sure short of dying and I'm in no hurry.
But the certainty and self reassurance of some of the statements I've read, the rhetorical quality of it all, is sometimes reminiscent of the same sort of arguments I used to see used against babylon the great, the wild beast, and the spirit of the world.
Just found that interesting.