Great question! This is something that took me a long time to wrap my head around. It was not until I had some deep conversations with my best friend that I understood how the dub marriage works. I think the issue in question is a religious and marital issue.
Let me say why, please. When a couple gets married, they are told that marriage is like a rope with three cords: Husband, Wife and God. What is not mentioned is that those three are great together until someone commits "gross wrongdoing". That is the kicker. If your spouse does this, then you go to the "Brothers" if your spouse won't. I bougth into this. My wife still does-to some extent. That is a huge problem because your are asked to put the society above your marriage in the guise of displeasing God if you cover over another's sin. Hogwash based on inept reasoning.
2 of my closest friends have just recently begun to realize that they are not dubs anymore. I have to say that my giving the wife CoC was a big help. But that is another success story on another thread that I'll start another time. Anyway, during our discussions the wife told me that she has never thought that she would narc on her husband for anything considered wrong by others. She thought that all dub marriages were like that until recently. She realized that her thinking was "wrong" by Dub standards. The husband feels as does she. It was this combined with several other things that moved them away from dubs and into reality.
That story only serves to make my long-winded point. Witnesses are not allowed to have a real marriage because there is always the idea in the back of each mate's mind that if they say what they think, the elders will be called to fix a problem. Only a very few fortunate ones get past this and don't feel this way. How can you be truly "One" in marriage when you have to guard your thoughts and ideas even from your spouse? It is impossible unless you go against the very core of dub teaching. Those that are lucky enough to somehow avoid this process seem to be the ones that are able to get out of Dubylon together and happily. I only hope that I can eventually help my wife to get to where I am so we can live together as one without the constant cloud of dubism hanging over our heads. I would really love to talk with her about reality, instead of avoiding the whale in the middle of our bed.