Chapter Three: No. You Cannot Meet My Family.
It's nothing personal. Really. They are in a cult and don't understand normal human interaction.
-Aude.
Has anyone found dating as an EX JW difficult?
by sweetstuff 50 Replies latest social relationships
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Honesty
I just say that my family is very dysfunctional.
That takes care of everything JW very well if I say so myself...
No glazed over sideways glances come my way after my date knows the situation.
If they ask for details I give them enough for them to realise that cults are dangerous to the mind.
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Apostate Kate2
For me there were major trust issues. I was so gullible too. I picked the wrong man over and over because I believed them. (no offense guys I know you don't all lie, especially ex JWs, they've had thier fill of lies) I finally had to list a set of standards and make myself hold a date up to them, and verify everything. I spent 5 years deliberatly not dating at all because I did not trust myself.
The time alone was the best thing I could have done. I learned that I can trust and depend on myself. I don't need a man. I bought my ranch had my first very own sancuary. One Valentines Day 2004 I felt a twinge of lonelyness and dated a guy who lived up to my standards. We were married before the year was done and have been very happy.
We may be a bit eccentric but are a good match. If he gets moody (men can be worse than a woman on PMS) I just go do my thing, no drama. I love my independance. No co-dependancy crap. His family on the other hand...they will never get it nor do they seem to care to try. They are very nice people, not eccentric.
My husband is a little person and I think this is why we make such a good match. He does not understand the JW experience but he sure understands suffering and being a social outcast.
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Stealth453
If you ask my wife, I bet she would say YES!!!!!
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anewme
I now say that my family is all dead.
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IP_SEC
I now say that my family is all dead.
It is very easy. "my family are in a strange cult so I dont have much to do with them"
End of conversation, unless they ask follow up questions. Be honest, just dont give a lot of unnecessary details.
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Finally-Free
Has anyone found dating as an EX JW difficult?
I haven't even tried dating. My JW experience has made me disinterested in relationships.
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Purza
My husband understands that my family is crazy and f*cked up. Although I really don't think he "got it" in the beginning. I have been out for 6 years and I still have some hang ups. He is very understanding and takes things in stride. We are both saddened that we are missing out on "normal" family relationship as my parents live pretty close by, yet we never see them.
Purza
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samiam2b
Uh yes I did. A couple of very good "worldly" female friends took pity on me and took me under their wings and decided to teach me how to date. (no-they were really JUST friends)
They had to teach me how to talk to a date, what to do, where to go, who pays, who does what... all that. I was the biggest dork apparently... but had been married to a dub for over 10 years starting when I was 18.
I made some mistakes right out of the gate but found the internet date matching sites to be particularly helpful. There are plenty of psycho chicks on those but also lots of normal nice women. After you wink (or whatever its called) at enough hotties who don't reply and figure it out... After I told enough of them about the whole JW thing and never heard from them again, I figured it out... slow learner.
I met my wife online and the rest is history. I'll start another topic on that issue to avoid hijacking this thread!
samiam2b
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SacrificialLoon
Curious, what is this "dating" you speak of?