I was brainwashed starting at age 9 in 1969. I lived my childhood in terror of when Armageddon HIT in 1975. I would have been 15. We did not need an education, never thought about tomorrow without a fearful dread. No plans for the future. I had no idea what a hope chest was. My future would be watching the birds eat the flesh off all the millions of dead bodies from everyone who was not a JW after God killed them at Armageddon. I worked to win Jehovah's approval by making the meetings and going out in service but I was never really good at it.I never felt safe from God's oncoming wrath. Some of the same people I knew growing up who also believed it would be 1975, were taught it from our elders, will now say that they never believed and it was never taught. My mother was divorced. She was a nobody because of that. She had no man, was not related to any man in the organization. She was not a pioneer, just a nobody. So I, being the daughter of a nobody in this religion was pretty low place to be. Many terrible things happened to me as a result of this destructive cult. Where the cult left off chronic illness took over from an inherited blood disease. I could never fulfilled any dreams I dared to dream. No carreer, no education just a series of poor choices and self loathing. This lead me to study the Bible for years without the Watchtower and studied all other world religions. I do believe that Jesus is the Messiah of Israel, is fully God and fully man, and the Bible is still the Word of God. I am not interested in endless debates about it. I am who I am. Accept me for who I am or leave me in peace. It gives me comfort to know others who have suffered and survived to tell about it. I can empathize with our collective sufferings, and enjoy it when someone makes progress out of the cult and into their new life. That's why I am here.