OTWO: We've had separate bedrooms for several months for exactly that reason and we've both been respectful of the other's privacy and boundaries. I would only be grabbing stuff from where its stored in the garage or picking up clothes for my son.
While many of us don't agree with your terms that you worked out, that's your deal and you already
worked that out, so do what you think is best with what you already agreed to. If you are both respectful and
he has this request, tell him you will give at least an hour's notice and you will tell him where you
intend to go in the house. If he isn't home, he will still get the call, either on a cell or answering
machine. Since you have common items for your son there, you have a reason to go there.
I would stay out of the living areas and tell him so. This really has to stay amicable so you can
sell the home. If you all cannot agree on simple terms, bend to his will a bit for financial reasons,
but tell him to move in with his family if that doesn't work, then sell the house quickly. Either way,
dump the home and dump your problem. Allow a realtor to schedule visits with proper notice and
show the house without your presence. It is important that he understands the need to show the
house in a neat, clean condition with all spaces accessible. If the realtor says there are problems,
get him out of there. If he is deliberately slowing the sale, get the lawyer involved, and get him out.
He has no other place to go, but he will get half the sale money.
If you are the primary care-provider for the son, and you will sell the home quickly, then you can
get all your things and all your son's things out of there NOW. Then you won't have to go there
except to pick up or drop off the son. I know you all say you are respectful and all, but rules change
when it's someone's living quarters. If even a close relative wanted to go into my home while I wasn't
home, or without calling, I would say NO and change the locks if they had a key. If they would only
go to the garage, I wouldn't have any problem with that, but some other people are not as reasonable
as me. Regardless of the simple solutions above, the simplest one is to never go into his space for
anything, and get rid of the home as quick as possible. Since all he asks is for a phone call, give him
whatever he wants as long as he doesn't hinder the sale. You might think it is unreasonable, but the
sale is the important thing.